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Archive-name: First/cinrmbrs.txt


Archive-title: Cindy Remembers

   I'm sitting up in the bed, covered with perspiration, breath

coming in gasps. A dream? Maybe a dream inside a dream. Rising

from the bed, I make my way to the bathroom. Turning on the cold

tap, I wet a cloth and hold it to my face.

   As I look at my reflection in the mirror, I try to recall the

dream and the man in it. Oh, yeah. I remember. It was that hunk

who just moved in down the street with three other guys. Must be

university students. In all honesty I must admit that his good

looks had not gone unnoticed by me. Still, I'm surprised that he

would pop up in a dream.

   Making my way back to the bed, I sit down and open the night-

stand drawer. After the dream, I must admit that the sight of the

revolver makes me feel better, but the sight of the vibrator just

makes me feel lonely...and horny.

   Retrieving the ivory colored electronic marvel, I hold it in

my hands looking at it as if I don't know what its for. Then I

laugh softly as my mind drifts back to the time I learned that a

vibrator was for more than just a massage.

   I was 14 then. I had been on the athletic field with the other

cheerleaders going through our routine for the homecoming game.

We were in the process of building a human pyramid. Since I was

the smallest, standing only 4' 10", I was on the top tier.

Consequently, when one of the girls in the anchor slipped, I

found myself pinned between thrashing limbs and bodies.

Unfortunately, my body fell in one direction while my right leg

was twisted almost backward as the pyramid collapsed.

   At first I seemed to be Okay, but the next morning I could

hardly move my right leg. The doctor said I had a severely pulled

muscle in my thigh and that it was probably my excellent muscle

tone that prevented my femur from snapping. The verdict was that

I should stay off it for the rest of the week. I was devastated

about not being able to participate at homecoming, but my parents

would hear none of my argument.

   Mom and Dad both worked, so I was left home alone for those

three days before the weekend. On the third day, Friday, I became

bored, but was too sore to do anything but lay around. Tired of

my room, I managed to go downstairs to my parents room. They kept

the best TV and VCR in their room. They also had one of those

adjustable beds. They bought before such things were fashionable.

So, with all the proper amenities, I was soon very comfortable

watching one of their more private movies. It was rated "R" which

I was normally not permitted to see. It just had the normal

everyday violence, profanity and sex. As a 14 year-old I was

rather fascinated by it.

   Furthermore, my sex life at 14 was nil. I hadn't really dated

very much except when a bunch of us kids would get together or at

some heavily chaperoned school event. if any guy had ever touched

me I would have knocked his head off. Of course, my mom had had

the usual conversation with me about "things" when I began my

periods, and the 9th grade Health teacher was telling us about

reproduction and the human body. The class was taught by the

girls' phys. ed. teacher and she gave us a lot of information

that we probably wouldn't have heard in a co-ed class.

   On the other hand, I had never had a fixation on sex and had

never really been interested in boys in that way. All I really

grasped was that one day I would get married, have babies, and

live happily ever after. No one had ever sat down and talked to

me about the sex act in terms of pleasure. Oh, it had been

intimated, but it was relegated to "something mysterious" that I

had noticed in movies and that some of us girls would giggle

about when there was a "sleepover." Actually, I didn't think

about sex very much at all which is probably why I didn't know

more than I did. What happened to me on that day changed all of

that for me forever.

   As I lay on the bed, I began to fiddle around with the bed's

control module. When I tried to pull it out of its holder, the

cord seemed to be stuck. Leaning over the side of the bed to see

what was wrong, I noticed an electrical cord trailing from the

wall socket to somewhere under the bed. Leaning over the edge,

almost losing my balance, I reached down and pulled on the cord.

Instead of freeing the control I heard something sliding across

the floor. What I retrieved really surprised me.

   It was a vibrator--the kind that had interchangeable rubber

cups, etc. When I flicked the switch on the handle, the resulting

vibration startled me so that I dropped it on the floor. Then the

thing began bumping and dancing very loudly across the hardwood

floor. I grabbed it and switched it off. I pressed the red rubber

cup which looked exactly like a miniature toilet plunger against

the palm of my hand and turned it on again. This time, there was

only a gentle hum.

   I still remember wondering what it was for. As it hummed its

low-pitched tune I brought it down to my ace-bandaged thigh and

pressed it very lightly there. The immediate feeling was

marvelously pleasant and even though my thigh was still very

sore, the sensation seemed to make it feel somewhat better. So

there I lay watching the movie on the TV screen, rubbing the

vibrator in light circles over my injury.

   Since I was home all alone, I had not bothered dressing except

for a long t-shirt and a pair of cotton panties. So when I was

lulled by the very boring movie and the gentle vibrations into a

semi-doze, I dropped the vibrator. It fell, still humming away,

between my thighs, landing so that it was leaning against my

panty-clad crotch. I was so startled, that I grabbed it and

turned it off. There was an awareness that the vibrator, even

though briefly, had felt strange against my private area.

   I don't know why I did what I did next. I suppose you could

call it "experimenting." I flipped the on switch and put the

device to my thigh again. This time, as I rotated it over the

bandage, I let it drift closer to my pubic area. Pretending that

I was doctoring my injury, I let the vibrator get closer and

closer to where it had been dropped just moments before. There

was definitely a very pleasant feeling that was generated as the

device came closer to the edge of my panties at the top of my


   Each circular motion of the vibrator found it closer and

closer to my crotch. Emboldened by the fact that I was alone, and

driven by the brand new sensations, I tentatively lifted the

device from the surface of my thigh and pressed the head flat

against my panty covered pussy. I wasn't sure what it felt like

at first, but as I alternated applied and released pressure, I

began to feel something building in my loins.

   You have to understand that I had never masturbated before.

Even at 14, I was naive in many ways and had never heard of self-

arousal. So I thought that I had discovered something so secret

that only I knew about it. The more I did this, the harder I

pressed the rubber cup to me. After a while, I could tell that my

panties were wet in the crotch. I knew that I had not peed on

myself, so I became frightened, thinking I had perhaps injured

myself. Maybe I had instigated my period early, and I was


   Quickly pulling the vibrator away and turning it off, I sat up

and looked down at myself. Panic subsided into relief when I saw

no blood. I pushed my hand inside my panties and felt around. I

was soaking wet down there. Even at 14, I had enough dark pubic

hair that it lay in damp ringlets. I looked at my fingers and saw

no blood. Exploring with my fingers again, I inserted one in the

top of my slit.

   I jerked the hand back as if I had been burned, because when I

touched myself there, it did something that sent a jolt through

me. It had not been unpleasant. So I felt again. This time I

began to rub myself there. The intensity had faded, but it still

felt very good. Associating what I felt with the vibrator, I

turned it on again and pressed it against my crotch once more.

This time, I had a finger on what I later learned to be my


   My hand had pushed the crotch of my panties aside and the

vibrator now rested directly on my pussy. As I pulled the

vibrator upward, the finger on my clitoris was displaced.

Evidently, the finger had exposed the little nub by pushing back

its fold of skin. This brought the vibrator into direct contact

with that extremely sensitive area.

   The feeling frightened me at first because it was so intense.

I pulled the vibrator away for a few seconds. When I replaced it,

my clitoris was once more covered by its hood which had slipped

back in place, so the contact, while not as electric, was

nonetheless overpoweringly wonderful. Getting used to the

vibrations, I began to experiment by pushing and turning the

vibrator this way and that. I soon found that the most sensitive

area was at the apex of my slit beneath the fold of skin there.

   Then, totally unexpected, and without warning, I felt my pussy

begin to pulse and throb. I wanted to take the vibrator away

because I thought something was wrong, but my hand, as if

paralyzed, only pressed it harder against me, intensifying the

feeling. I felt heat pass through my body. My breasts began to

tingle. Lifting one hand to one tit, I could feel the nipple

standing rigidly outward. I couldn't help the moaning and

groaning that followed as something totally unexpected, yet

wonderful, was happening to me. It was like nothing I had ever

felt, but wave after wave of pleasure rolled over me. It was

butterflies in my stomach accompanied by an exhilaration that was

pure delight. Then it began to fade. I was exhausted, but I

didn't want it to end. I pressed the vibrator harder, but the

feeling was gone. Soon, my pussy was so sensitive that the

vibrator began to cause a little pain, so I pulled it away.

   I felt like I was in another world, a world where secrets are

kept from me. I thought, "Oh, my gosh. I could die from this." I

tried to recount the experience in my mind. It had been was as if

my whole body had begun to radiate heat from the pit of my

stomach. I had felt goose bumps on my arms and legs, my face had

seemed on fire. Also there had been that strange tingling

sensation in my breasts as my heart pounded as if it had wanted

to leap from my chest. The blood had throbbed in my temples and I

could hear it rush in my ears. For a frightful moment I had even

thought I could be having some kind of heart attack. But remember

as I could, the feeling was a fleeting one and could not be

recreated in my mind.

   I was stunned by what had happened. Not sure of just what it

was, and not knowing if I had done harm to myself, I just lay

there trying to collect my thoughts. There was no doubt that it

was rather a good feeling, and I'm sure I would have enjoyed it

even more, had I not been so frightened. I recall that I tried to

associating it with a girl in school in the fifth grade who had

had some type of seizure and they had to carry her from the

room...but no, this had not been the same thing.

   By this time I had calmed down sufficiently to think about

other food. It was almost noon and I had not had

any breakfast. Getting up from the bed, careful with how I turned

my leg, I decided I should put the vibrator away. Since my injury

would not allow me to bend over, supporting myself with my arms

on the bed and the wall, I let my feet slide over the waxed floor

until I was seated beside the bed. Pushing the vibrator under it,

my hand ran into a box. Curiosity, getting the better of me, I

pulled the box out and opened it. It was the home of the

vibrator. I could tell because the indentation in the box matched

the L-shape of the device.

   But there were other things there also--other attachments.

There was a rubber cup, much larger than the one I found on the

vibrator; a 4" round flat rubber attachment; a scalp massager

with little rubber fingers all over it; a hard rubber piece that

looked like a wheel in a wheel, joined by spokes; and most

interesting however were two white cylinders of 2" and 5"

respectively. Each was made of a soft smooth vinyl or rubber.

   In the bottom of the box was an owner's manual. Flipping

through it, I knew that this was an "adults only" thing. It

showed how to use the vibrator to "lessen tension," "give

soothing relief," and such. But the pictures were of very

scantily clad women with gorgeous men holding the device on

certain areas (or near) of their bodies. One picture was of the

2" white rubber attachment being applied at the top of the

woman's thigh.

   Dropping the book, I took the 2 incher and put it on the metal

shaft of the vibrator in place of the red one that looked like a

suction cup. So there I was sitting on the floor between the bed

and the wall, which was about 4' away, my legs parted and

outstretched toward the wall, my head and back against the bed.

   As I contemplated the altered device, I let one hand move to

my vee and pushed the crotch of my panties aside. The cotton had

seemingly soaked up all my moisture because when I felt my pussy

again, it seemed to be mostly dry. Then as I did something that I

only do when bathing, I slightly parted the lips of my pussy and

found that there was still plenty of slick moisture there. I

think my heart actually skipped a beat when I touched my clit.

(Remember, I was ignorant of my anatomy and did not know that

this was a normal reaction to clitoral stimulation.)

   With one hand holding the panties, I used the other to hold

the vibrator which I turned on by sliding the switch with my

thumb. It leaped to life in my hand and my breathing became

labored in anticipation. Very carefully, I touched the white

rubber appendage to the ace bandage on my thigh. After all, I

didn't want to seem too anxious. After a few perfunctory twirls

of it there, I brought the vibrator directly over my cunt again.

This time, however, instead of rubbing it around on the surface,

I wanted to try something else. It occurred to me that what I was

about to do would be sort of like doing it with a boy, but I

wouldn't get pregnant (That's how they taught it in Middle School

sex ed.).

   Cautiously, I brought it closer with my right hand as my left

hand used my forefinger and middle finger to try to spread my

pussy. As I brought it closer, I got nervous. I bit my lip and

closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to look. As it touched me, it

was too intense and I had to jerk it away. I was not aware that

moving it so slowly toward me, made me get a lot more vibration

than if it were dead against my flesh. I had not known this, but

what I did next taught it to me.

   I turned it off and brought it to my cunny again. This time I

was able to insert just a fraction an inch into my pussy. I knew

about my hymen and I didn't want it broken. I turned the vibrator

on, but had to turn it off again right away--still too much, I

removed my fingers and pulled my thighs tight around the vibrator

and lifted my knees slightly to "trap" it. When I turned it on

this time I was able to cope. It was heavenly. I just held it

there barely inserted as it vibrated wonderfully against my


   Somehow, I thought this would be better if I were on the bed.

Also I was having second thoughts about whether or not I should

be doing this. In any case, I, turned it off, got up, laid down

on the bed, drew my left knee up and spread my legs as far as my

injury would allow. It was far enough. Finding my opening with

one hand, I pushed the extension into myself again. I forgot

about the hymen and let the full two inches in. I didn't get much

of a charge out of the entry, but this time when I turned it on,

all I can say is that it was wonderful. I closed my eyes and

pretended it was one of those men in the book.

   My imagination, however, was not of sexual intercourse. All he

was doing was holding the vibrator for me just like he was doing

for the woman in the picture. Without being consciously aware of

it, my hips had begun a rocking motion pushing and withdrawing. I

let out a moan and a gasp as the waves of pleasure hit me again.

My thighs closed tightly in an involuntary reaction as I kept the

vibrator tight against me, wanting to wring every last drop of

goodness from this feeling. I don't know how long I let it run,

but it was far beyond the extent of my pulsing and throbbing.

   After about 20 minutes, (I think I dozed again) I became aware

that my juices had dried around the probe. It was stuck to my

skin and was a little painful as I pulled it away. But in just a

moment, I had a finger in my box to see if I had done any damage.

I'm not sure, but I don't think I even had a hymen when the day

started. I've decided over the years I probably lost it doing

such innocuous things as riding a bicycle.

   Anyhow, not finding a barrier, I soon had my middle finger

inside me as far as it would go. I wasn't sure what to do, but I

began pulling and pushing it out and in over and over until I was

wanting to feel something, but after a good while of this, all I

had succeeded in doing was to irritate my vagina.

   Starting to feel another urge, I got off the bed and walked to

the bathroom attached to my parent's bedroom. I rarely ever went

in there unless we had company or the other two bathrooms were

occupied. Pulling my panties down, I sat down and let my bladder

empty itself. I patted myself dry with some tissue, stood and

pulled up my panties. Returning the bedroom, I lay back down and

watched the rest of the movie. There was now an acute awareness

in my mind of every little innuendo of sexuality on the screen.

Then in the midst of a particularly steamy love scene where the

couple are obviously nude under the sheets and the guys chest is

rubbing all over the woman's visibly naked breasts, I began to

feel aroused again. Then a particular movement he made led me to

know that he was putting his penis inside her (whether they do

for real or not, I don't know) and I immediately associated that

with what I had done to myself with the vibrator.

   Knowing what I would find, I looked over the edge of the bed

and saw the 5" attachment just laying there in the open box. "Why

not?" I thought. Hanging over the edge of the bed, I retrieved

it. After examining it for a few moments while I watched the

woman on the screen having an experience that I was sure was the

same thing that happened to me, I removed the 2" piece and

replaced it with the longer one.

   I began by pushing the end of it against my slit and finding

no ready opening, began to let it slide up and down the front of

my pussy until the tip penetrated the outer lips. I closed my

eyes and tried to imagine the guy on the screen putting his thing

in me, but all I could see on my eyelids was the hunk from the

book holding the vibrator for me. As I continued to let it slide

up and down my slit, I could feel my opening being spread further

apart. Then with both hands on the device, I pushed the full 5"

into my vagina.

   As soon as I flipped the "on" switch, my vagina contracted

around the rubber extension imbedded in my cunt. I had noted such

spasms earlier, but this is the first time anything was inserted

into my vagina that the vaginal walls could grip. With only a

thirty second or so delay, it happened again. As this orgasm

(I'll use the word, though I did not know it when I was 14. NOTE:

I had heard other girls talk about the BIG O, but of course that

had no meaning to me. I just giggled when they giggled, acting as

if I knew all about it. I seriously doubt if many of them, if

any, knew what it was.) almost literally grabbed me, I began to

huff and puff just like the Big Bad Wolf. My breathing became

voiced and I made strange sounds ranging from soft mews to heavy

sighs of breath growing into moans. I though that it was never

going to stop.

   And I didn't want it to stop, but after a while, just as

before the vibrator again became more of an irritant than a

stimulant and I had to turn it off. I knew that as good as it

was, I should probably stop.

   So I finally got up and began to put the thing back like I

found it, including the box. I suppose that nothing could

surprise me now, but as I glanced under the bed, I found a couple

of other interesting things in another box. Reaching for it, I

pulled it out. In it I found a large rubber replica of a man's

penis. "A teaching aid, no doubt," is what I really thought. I

could not think of any use for it except to teach someone about a

man's anatomy. I thought that until I noticed a slide switch on

the base of it.

   Silly me, I had to flip the switch. Guess what? That's right

another vibrator. As I write this, I'm smiling as I recollect the

smile this amazing discovery brought to my adolescent face. Not

pressing the issue, I turned it off and went back to the box of

goodies. There was a tube of something called "Wild Strawberry

Sex Lube." I couldn't imagine what that was for. I opened it,

sniffed, and found that it actually smelled like strawberries. I

think I giggled.

   Next was a book entitled, "A Woman's Sexuality" and one

entitled "Everything You Always Wanted to Know...etc." Then there

was a slick covered magazine that offered "(something)

(something) Sexual Positions." As I thumbed through it, I felt

myself getting smarter. I couldn't believe what those people were

doing. There were pictures of guys with their penises in girls

pussies, mouths and assholes. I couldn't imagine wanting to put

one in my mouth (YUK!). And no one could ever get one of those

things in my tiny little pussy, let alone, up my rear.

   Gathering up what struck my fancy, and the artificial penis of

course, I went to the kitchen and had a peanut butter and banana

sandwich (don't knock it if you haven't tried it) and a Pepsi

while I continued my education. By the time I finished, I knew

that both men and women were able to have what is called a

"climax" when they have sex. I also learned the "O" word, but

misread it as "organism" at first. There were whole chapters

devoted to "oral" sex. At first I thought that meant talking

about it, but the graphic description of how to perform it on a

man and on a woman was given in lurid detail... and I had

pictures in the magazine that showed all the positions.

   Then my eyes fell on the most fascinating picture of all.

There was a naked man lying on his back on a couch. A woman,

completely nude, was lying face up on him. One of her legs was

draped toward the floor as she straddled his middle. Her other

leg was raised to rest along the back of the couch. The man's

left arm reached around her so that his left hand appeared to be

pinching her left nipple and his penis was in her "back door," if

you know what I mean.

   I found all this very interesting, but what I found downright

fascinating was something else. In his right hand, he is holding

the twin of the artificial penis that I had found under the bed,

and he is pushing it, with her assistance, into her pussy. The

picture showed insertion of only an inch or two, but my

imagination could see it going all the way in.

   Imagine my surprise when I turned the page and found out that

is exactly what he had done. All you could see was the base of

it, and it had a little black on/off switch just like the one in

my possession now.

   Oh yeah. I also found out about lubricants. They are

recommended even for manual stimulation of a woman's sex organ to

avoid "undue irritation." I wished I had known /about it earlier.

Also the hardback books told about the use of vibrators. I really

had taken in a lot of information in only a couple of hours.

   By this time it was 3:00 and my parents would not be home

until after they had gone out for dinner. They usually did that

on Friday night, and I usually went with them, but since I was

not supposed to be up and around, and since they really look

forward to Friday night, I told them that I would be Okay by

myself. They said they would probably be home by 8:30 at the


   I continued to look at the pictures in the book showing all

the variations in positions. Some of the made me laugh, others

made me think that the pictures had to be some sort of hoax--some

of them, anyhow. Still, I kept coming back to the picture of the

woman laying face up on the man, with the artificial cock in her

pussy. By now I knew from some of the ads in the book that such a

device is was called a dildo. What a funny name for something

like that. Still poring over the books for more information, I

cleaned off the table, washed my plate and silverware, poured

another glass of Pepsi and went back upstairs to my parents room.

   Wanting to know more about all these new discoveries, I lay

down on bed again, but not before I pulled off my panties. Before

I dropped them on the floor I held them to my nose. The odor was

quite unlike any that I had ever noticed on them before, not

unpleasant, just different. I presumed it to be the natural

lubricant mentioned in the book.

   I had the soft rubber dildo in my hands and I was rubbing and

stroking it trying to pretend it belonged to the guy in the

picture. It was rather large like his and I wondered if all men

were the same. Examining it, I could see that it had what looked

like veins running the length of it from its base to the

mushroom-cap-like head. I flipped the switch on its base and it

began to hum, sending waves of motion through my hand. It had a

different feel from the other one I had used earlier.

   Getting up from my prone position, I reached down and

retrieved the box from the floor. A piece of paper that had a

picture of the cock on the front and directions about how to

replace batteries. It even came with a one year limited warranty

against defects in material and workmanship. Neato! There were no

directions on how to use it, only a warning about prolonged use

on sensitive tissue and membranal areas of the body.

   I wanted to put it inside me so bad I could hardly stand it,

but there was a warning in the back of my mind that I was being

bad. Laying back down with the box now beside me, I picked up the

book on women's sexuality and held it with outstretched arms

overhead to read it. The book sort of slipped out of my right

hand and as it dropped on that one side a pamphlet of some sort

fell out. I hadn't really looked at this book as much as the

others and didn't notice that it had anything inside the back


   "FORUM" declared the cover. A woman in a very skimpy teddy was

on the front with a dreamy expression on her face. She was in one

of those round chairs and her head was sort of thrown back

exposing her throat. Her head was covered with a generous amount

of black hair that seemed to spread out around her head. I could

see her nipples through the sheer white of her garment that

opened in a long vee to below her waist. There seemed to be a

hint of pubic hair that could be seen at the juncture of her

thighs. I felt my face flush hot at I stared.

   Then my eyes saw the word on the cover where the highlights of

the issue were listed. dildoS. I looked in the table of contents

and found that the article was on page 43. I almost tore the

cover getting there. The article as not an article but a series

of long letters. There was a picture of a woman holding a

different kind of dildo against her pussy but not inserted. This

one was about six inches long and looked like white plastic. I

think I liked this nine inch one that looked like the real thing

better. I started to read.

   As I read, I found that I was being turned on as both women

and men talked about their experiences with dildos. One letter

was about some guys who pushed them up their asses. I skipped

over that disgusting.

   By this time, I was holding the book in one hand while the

other began to finger my private area. The more I read, the more

excited I became. I was now pushing my forefinger into my slit. I

was real wet by now.

   It was as I read a letter from a girl named Kelley, that I let

myself get into the story. She was telling how she was alone in a

ski chalet, while all the others were out skiing. She had a

broken leg. Now I had someone I could really identify with. I

placed a sympathetic hand on my own right thigh as I continued to

read. She went on about how lonely and horny she was. Horny?

What's that? Anyhow, she reached into her overnight bag and

pulled out a gag gift her roommate had given her for Christmas.

It was a penis shaped vibrator--a dildo--and she had never used

it. Oh my God!

   She told how she held it up and looked at it and rubbed. Then

she put it in her mouth and sucked on the tip. Yuk! After a while

she began to play with her cunny and rub the tip of it against

the outside of it.

   I was really into the article by this time. I picked up the

dildo in my free hand and began to rub it against my dark

covering of pubic mound. As I continued to read, I tried to do

everything she did. Then she got some K-Y jelly and rubbed it all

over the dildo. I quickly looked for the strawberry lubricant.

Carefully, I opened it and squeezed some of it on my dildo. In

order to continue to mimic her actions, I had to roll over on my

right side and lay the book down on the bed with me looking down

on it. I cocked my left leg at the knee and pulled my foot up

behind my other leg. This left my crotch wide open.

   I could now use both hands to oil the dildo. I even put the

tip in my mouth and sucked, sort of trying to catch up with

Kelly. Hmmm. Not bad. Just like strawberries. I sucked on it

again. As I read on, it was obvious that Kelly was sort of just

as I was. Her right leg was in a cast and she was lying there

with it stretched out and her other knee drawn up. I suppose she

was on her back, however, since I don't think she was trying to

read "FORUM."

   Now with both our dildos greased, she put it at the door of

her love nest--honest, that's what she called it--and began to

rotate it against her pussy. As she was introducing the head of

it into her vagina, I began to do a little rotating of my own.

God, it was huge. But I just kept turning and turning it until it

began to sink in. I now understood the word, "screw." That was

literally what we were doing--screwing it in. When I thought I

had completely shoved the dildo in, I looked down and was

disappointed to find only about an inch and a half had made its

way inside me.

   If I thought the small diameter doodads from the other

vibrator were large, this thing was humongous. Then Kelly, in the

story, put the heel of her hand on the end of the vibrator and

pressed it inward. Copying her, I did the same thing. The size of

the thing made rough going and there was some discomfort, if not

pain. It felt as if the walls in my vagina actually tore, then

with almost no pressure, the thing sank in about three more

inches. I realized that I had just "broken the cherry" that I

thought I didn't have. It was deeper than I realized, or else it

stretched considerably with any previous onslaught, whether

bicycle, horses, or vibrator.

   When my magazine heroine had it in as far as it would go, I

decided I had reached my limit. She started to move it back out

of her and then push it back in, I did the same, the natural

upward pull of my hand, dragging the irregularly veined surface

across my clitoris. The feeling was one of ecstasy and my breath

caught in my throat. Then both of us pushed our toys back in and

I slowly exhaled. There was still some pain but I was determined

to do it.

   The girl in the letter had not mentioned turning her vibrator

to the "on" position, and I had all but forgotten about it. I had

mine planted about six inches deep and my small right hand was

wrapped firmly around the portion still outside. My thumb rested

on the base of it. Without giving it much thought, I flipped the

switch with my thumb. There was about a half-seconds delay which

was long enough to make me think that it wasn't going to work;

and then it caught. I forgot all about Kelley and what she was

doing in her letter.

   It felt as if my insides were being flipped inside out. Taking

the initiative, I began to pump the artificial penis in and out,

still gripping the end in my right palm. As my excitement began

to build, I pumped faster and faster until I gave up some of the

handhold, and on the next inward thrust, I went deep enough to

bump something inside. It hurt like hell and I stopped moving. I

was not aware that I had just banged the mouth of my cervix. It

was not really as deep as I had been going, but I had evidently

failed to bypass it on that one particular pass.

   I recovered enough to allow myself a few shallow strokes and

then as I went deeper, I probed around until I found what I had

hit. By raising my left leg a little more and shifting my hips, I

found I was able to go past the obstruction. So I plied the tool

a little deeper the next time. Now I was going much slower. The

vibrations were great, but I was enjoying the pure thrusting

also. I contemplated turning the vibrator off, but before I could

really consider it, my vagina began its explosive contractions

around the dildo as I experienced my strongest orgasm yet.

   I lay there in the warm afterglow and smiled as I extracted

the toy from its still pulsing home. I looked down and watched my

pussy turn inside out as it clung to the soft rubber surface. My

left hand traced the outline of my sexually stimulated nipples,

adding to the pleasure of the moment.

   My reverie was interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

Flipping over on my stomach and reaching to the nightstand, I

picked up the phone, "Hello."

   A strained voice on the other end asked, "Shirley?"

   "No. It's Cindy. Mom's with Dad." I paused as I thought I

heard a sob. "Is that you aunt Kathy? Is something wrong?" Kathy

was married to my Mom's brother Malcom. They lived somewhere in

Cincinnati, Ohio where uncle Mal had a dental practice.

   "Oh, Cindy. Mal's g-gone. He had a heart attack this afternoon

and... and... the...the d-d-doctors c-couldn't...." She broke

down and began to sob uncontrollably.

   "You mean he... died?" I asked incredulously. Why, they had

just been here for Labor Day weekend. Uncle Mal had even played

softball. I didn't need to wait for her answer. "Oh, aunt Kathy.

I'm so sorry."

   "I know you are Cindy. Mal thought a lot of you." She was

obviously trying to regain her composure. I heard her take a long

breath and say, "Can you get in touch with Shirley somehow and

let her know... Oh, and ask her to call."

   "I can probably catch her right now, If we hang up right


   "Okay, baby. Tell her to call me."

   "I will. I love you, aunt Kathy."

   "I love you too, honey. Bye."

   "Bye," but she was already gone.

   I immediately punched in my Dad's office number. "Good

afternoon. Anderson, Billings and Marshall. May I assist you."

   "Mrs. Morrison? This is Cindy. Is my Dad still there?"

   "Why, Cindy, I haven't seen you in months. How are you doing?

Oh, I heard you had been hurt at school. Are you better now?"

   "Much better, thank you," I lied. "Is he still there."

   "He certainly is. Your mother just went in. Hold a sec and I

put you through."

   "Sid Marshall," my dad's deep baritone answered.


   "Cindy? Are you Okay? Is anything wrong."

   Swallowing, I began, "Dad, Aunt Kathy called... uh... It's

about Uncle Mal.... you see, he had a heart attack this

afternoon... and he died."

   There was stone silence from the other end. Then I could hear

my father whispering to Mom. "Oh, no!..." I heard her exclaim.

   "Dad? Aunt Kathy wants Mom to call her right away."

   "Okay, baby. We'll be on our way home as soon as she gets off

the phone. You sure you're Okay?"

   "I'm Okay, daddy."

   "Bye, sweetheart"


   I was almost overcome by an all-enveloping sense of loss as

the reality began to sink in. Pappaw had died when I was eight

years old, but I hardly remembered him. There hadn't been a death

in our family since then. Now, Uncle Mal was gone. I would never

see him again... never hear his silly little jokes... never see

the funny way he ate watermelon with a spoon. Tears began to roll

down my cheeks.

   Very carefully and dutifully, I began to put my parents' room

in order. All the books, the newly discovered toys, the VCR tape

were returned to their proper places. I straightened the bed

covers and gave the room another once over.

   I went downstairs and tried to think of what I could do to

help. My thigh was throbbing painfully, and I knew I shouldn't be

walking around on it. Stepping very gingerly, I made my way to my

bedroom and lay down on top on the bedspread. My mind raced as it

wrestled with the events of the day. I just closed my eyes. When

I opened them, my mother was sitting on the bed beside me. The

room was dark except for the light filtering from the hallway.

   Mom's cool hand was on my cheek. "How's my baby?" It wasn't so

dark that I couldn't see that she had been crying.

   "Still sore, I'm afraid. I thought it'd be better by now."

   "Well, baby, Dr. Adams said these soft tissue injuries take

their own good time in healing. Have you stayed off it like he

told you?" she asked with mock accusation.

   "Honest, Mom. I only got up to eat lunch--and I went upstairs

and laid on your bed to watch TV."

   "And what's wrong with the TV in your room?" her eyebrows were


   Giggling, I responded, "Yours is better. Besides, my bed isn't

adjustable," I added.

   She laughed with me. "Want some supper? We stopped for


   My stomach lurched. "Not now. Maybe later."

   "Whatever you say, but you know Daddy. He thinks he has to eat

anything that doesn't go on the first pass."

   "Let him. I don't care that much for Chinese anyway," and as

an after thought, "Are there any eggrolls?"

   "Of course."

   "Well, save me just one. That's all I want."

   Mom patted my knee, "Whatever you say." She stood and started

to walk out of the room. "Cindy, your father and I are going to

have to leave tonight to drive to Ohio. Do you think you'll be

alright here by yourself if we have Bob and Edna keep an eye on

you and the house?"

   I was surprised. "You mean I can't go with you? What will Aunt

Kathy think?"

   The overhead light in my room flipped on. "Aunt Kathy already

knows and she understands. She knows you loved your Uncle Mal.

We've thought about it and it'd really be best if you stay off

that leg until you go back to the doctor. Okay?

   "Okay." I tried to sound disappointed but the truth was that

even though I dearly loved Uncle Mal, I dreaded going to his

funeral. There was no doubt in my mind that the experience would

be unbelievably sad.

   Before she left my doorway, she said, "I'll call Bob and Edna

and make sure they'll be available if you need anything. Then

I'll bring your eggroll. Pepsi to drink?"

   "Sounds good," my voice following her down the hall. I reached

over the edge of my bed and picked up my Notebook and my Algebra

I text and began the makeup homework. Sometime during this

effort, Mom brought me an eggroll and a Pepsi which I consumed as

I labored over my assignment. I had been an A-B student all the

way through school--never straight A's, but always above average.

It was enough to put me on the Honor Roll, and it seemed to

please my parents.

   I'd heard my mother telling one of her friends that I had

never given them any trouble. I suppose you could say that I was

a "good girl." I'd never been sent to the principal's office,

never received less than an A for deportment, never cut classes.

It made me feel very special when she told her friend that. I

never wanted to cause my parents unhappiness ever.

   At about 8:00 that evening they came in to say goodbye. Our

next-door neighbors, Bob and Edna had offered to let me stay at

their house, but thankfully, my parents declined the offer and

told them it'd be enough if they could be available in case I

needed something or for an emergency. Dad gave me three twenty-

dollar bills "just in case." Then instructions about the

electricity and the plumbing for the umpteenth time.... be sure

the freezer door closes, and all the usual.

   "We love you, honey," came from Dad with a hug and kiss.

   "We sure do." Mom gave me her hug and kiss.

   "I love you too," I smiled.

   Just as the started out of the room, Mom turned, "Oh, Cindy. I

forgot to tell you that Robbie will be here in the morning to do

the lawn. Didn't want him to frighten you."

   "Okay, Bye." I answered.

   Then they were gone. I felt a strange sense in being alone

when I realized that this was the first time that I had been away

from them overnight all alone.

   I glanced at the clock. 8:15. The game! I forgot about the

school game. It had already started. I turned on the radio and

tuned in the local station that carried our games. We were ahead

in the first quarter 7-0. Yeah, TEAM! I finally drifted off to

sleep sometime after 9:00. The last score I remembered was 27-6.

   The next sound I heard was a loud thump as if something had

hit the house. I jumped out of bed and almost fell on my face

when the pain coursed through my still tender thigh. Limping, I

made my way to the window. I didn't see anything but I could hear

something. It was a lawnmower.

   The sound of the mower made me glance at the clock on my

radio. It was 8:30 in the morning. It must be Robbie, the boy who

mowed our lawn on a regular basis. Looking out the window, I

caught a glimpse of him as he walked briskly behind the roaring

machine. He was dressed in swimming trunks, t-shirt and tennis

shoes and seemed to enjoy his work in the warm early morning

October sun. It wasn't odd for folks in this part of the country

to have to cut grass right on up until Thanksgiving. Indian

Summer had a lot of staying power in Jackson.

   I hobbled to my regular bathroom and took off my panties and

t-shirt. I couldn't believe I'd slept in the same outfit I had

worn all day the day before. Then very carefully, I removed the

bandage from my thigh while I let the shower water warm up. With

a definite goal in mind, I took a leisurely shower and washed my

Dorothy Hammill haircut. Not in any particular hurry, I turned

off the shower and closed the drain to let the tub begin to fill.

Mom always kept some of her own bath salts, bubble bath and oils

in this bathroom because the master bath had only a shower. She

enjoyed a long soak every now and then, herself.

   I poured a little of the best smelling bubble bath and

matching bath oil in the water under the streaming faucet. Huge

billowing bubbles formed as the water worked on the ingredients I

had poured in. I slid into the bath and it was wonderful. The

heat felt good on my injury and I was enjoying the luxury. I

imagined myself a gorgeous model doing a soap commercial, posing

and turning until my breasts showed above the bubbles. I squealed

as if embarrassed and slid under the water.

   When the game was over I meticulously washed every square inch

of my body. I felt that I must be ultra clean. I washed my hair

again and used Mom's most expensive creme rinse--not a

"conditioner" but a real creme rinse. The bath oil made my skin

as soft as a baby's. I must have been in the bathtub for at least

30 minutes. My fingers were wrinkled, but that would pass.

   I let the water drain, then used the shower head to rinse away

the residue of soap and bubbles, cleaning the tub as I went. Then

I dried myself on the big soft beach towel making sure I left no

wet spots even between my toes. Standing clean, dry and naked

before the mirror, I used the blow dryer as I brushed out my

hair. When I was finished, I appraised my reflection in the

mirror. "Not bad."

   Limping to the bedroom, I put on some fresh undies. Today,

instead of cotton, however, I donned my best nylon lace bikini

panties. The bra was one my mom called "impractical." It was also

very lace, low cut and it fastened in front. I talked her into it

for a formal occasion. We had to arrive on a compromise between a

"low cut" or a "strapless" evening gown. Mom won on the "low

cut," so I got the bra.

   In bra and panties, I sat at the vanity and began on my

toenails. First I trimmed them, then using a cuticle spoon, I

worked on each toe until the little "half moon" shone at the base

of each nail bed. A rich coat of Flamingo Pink polish finished

the job. While they dried, I did the same to my fingernails. Mom

wouldn't let me use fake ones, so I tried to be extra careful not

to break a nail. Most of the time there was at least one oddball

nail, but this past week of just laying around had let me get a

little growth so I could trim them, but leave a respectable

length. Flamingo Pink was once more the finishing touch.

   The lawnmower was silent, and I assumed that Robbie had

finished that part of the chore. Just as the thought ran though

my head, I hear the gas-powered weed eater start. It was now

10:00a.m. Sneaking a peek out the window, I saw him using the

weed machine as an edger as he worked along the border of our

patio. Robbie had removed his t-shirt and was now bare-chested.

There was a sheen of perspiration on his well-tanned upper body.

His legs had a lot of hair on the thighs, but his chest seemed

void of any such growth.

   It was 10:30 by the time my nails were completely dry. I heard

the banging of the garbage cans as Robbie pulled them to the

backyard for the clippings. I had timed it just about right. I

wasn't consciously sure why, but for some reason I wanted to be

friendly (in a nice-girl way) with Robbie.

   I slipped a knee length pink dress over my head. It was

nothing special. It had buttons running down the front to the

waist and the skirt was pleated all around. Mom said it flounced,

whatever that means. I left the top three buttons open so that a

little lace would show. If I'd had more in the breast department,

there would have been a little cleavage, too.

   Rarely do I wear make-up even at school, but I put on a pink

lip gloss and gave my eyelashes a swipe with some mascara. No eye

shadow or liner. I couldn't resist a touch of blush, however, and

applied the brush softly to emphasize my cheekbones. Giving

myself a nod of approval from the mirror, I started toward the

patio door.

   I had been right. Robbie had finished the front and was now

just about through with the back. Next week he'd be raking

leaves, but that day the autumn colors were at their peak. When

the mower died, I slid the patio door open.

   "How about some lemonade when you're through."

   Robbie seemed startled, "Oh. Hi, Cindy. started early today.

Wanted to get it done before the temperature got up."

   "I would have come out to help but... my leg, you know." I


   "Oh, yeah. Sue told me about it. How's it doing?"

   "I'm supposed to stay off it for a while, but I'm getting

pretty bored. Want to come in?"

   "Sure. Give me a minute to put things away and get my shirt.

Lemonade sure sounds good."

   I turned and went to the refrigerator and frantically looked

for some lemons. There were two very old looking ones that were a

little shriveled. I grabbed them and the bottle of ReaLemon.

Reading the instructions for lemonade on the Realemon bottle, I

moved quickly. Cold water... sugar... slice the lemons... ice...


   "Now where's that lemonade?"

   I caught my breath as I turned, tray with pitcher and glasses

in hand and limped to the table in the center of the dining area.

Robbie had his t-shirt on now, but was bare-footed--evidently so

he wouldn't track grass in the house. He pulled out a chair and

plopped down as I poured. For the first time, I noticed how

sweaty he was from his outdoor exertion. I also noticed how cute

he was. Robbie was my best-friend-Sue's brother. They had lived

next door for about three years. Sue was on the cheering squad

with me; Robbie was 18 and a senior.

   Sitting across the table from each other, we sipped our

lemonades in silence. He sort of glanced around the room as I

looked at him. I would look away, his eyes would be on me when I

looked back; then he'd look around the room some more. Finally he


   "Sorry to hear about your uncle. Mom and Dad told me."

   "Yeah, it was a real shock."

   "My parents talked to yours last night. If you need anything,

just let us know.

   "I really appreciate it," I sighed, very self-conscious and a

little uncomfortable.

   "So, how's the leg?" he asked, just to make conversation.

   "It's still awfully sore and I have to wear this awful

bandage," I replied as I slid my chair to they right to show him

the bandage. It wasn't until I had pulled my dress up to the top

of my right thigh that I remembered that I hadn't put the ace

back on. I just sat there looking at my bare thigh and so did

Robbie. My first thought was that I should have at least put on a

pair of hose. Color rose in my face and I pushed the dress back

down. When I looked up, Robbie was red too.

   "Anyhow, I'm supposed to wear the stupid thing. I-- I guess I

forgot to put it back on." Oh, how I wanted to die right then and

there. At that thought and at that very moment, I realized that I

was thinking of Robbie as a sexual being. I knew that I wanted to

either seduce or be seduced. Oh, it wasn't as sophisticated as

all that, but that was the underlying motive for getting dressed

and inviting him in, even if it was only in my subconscious up

until now.

   "Sue said you fell from a pyramid and that your leg was pinned

back by someone falling over you."

   "I guess that's the way it happened. At least it seemed that

way," I replied, trying to restore my composure.

   "I had the same thing happen to me in football last season.

That's why I'm not playing this year. I have to wear a bandage in

basketball still."

   "Yeah, I wondered why you weren't on the team this year," I

commented. "Oh, did we win last night?"

   "Nah. They beat us 28-27 in the last quarter. We had 'em 27-6

in the third. They missed an extra point in the second period.

Then it fell apart for us in the fourth. Rod Gooding sprained an

ankle as it opened and we were essentially without a quarterback.

Then Gus Martin was ejected for fighting. Next thing we knew,

Central was in the end-zone and had a two-point conversion. Bert

Beasley fumbled the next kick-off and Central scored on the next

play from scrimmage. They faked a kick and passed for the two

points. That made the score 27-21. We marched down the field and

Beasley got into the end-zone on a fantastic screen pass and go.

It was called back for an ineligible man downfield. With two

minutes left, we had fourth down and three on their 12 yard line

so we attempted a "sure-fire" field goal. The snap was bobbled

and Mike Forntney, instead of covering the ball, tried to pass to

the end-zone. Central intercepted and ran it back 100 yards for

the touchdown. Then their kicker who missed his first attempt in

the first quarter, put it away with an extra point 28-27.

   I didn't understand a word he said. I was a cheerleader, but

all I knew about football was that on team has the ball and the

other team tries to take it away before the first team scores.

But I sat there wide-eyed, taking it all in, pretending to know

what he was talking about nodding in agreement. When he finished,

we were back to the awkward silence that ruled only minutes


   Trying to change the subject, "So how is your leg getting

along?" Somehow the question wasn't worded right and I felt sort

of stupid.

   "Coach gave me some good exercises for it. And I went to the

gym for some special treatments that seemed to help," he added.

   "Really? What kind of treatments?" I asked, genuinely


   "Therapeutic massage mostly. They did a few sessions for me

and then taught me how to give them to myself since it was on my

thigh," Robbie explained.

   Caught up by the prospect of an early return to the squad, I

asked, "Do you think you could teach me?"

   "Uh... Yeah, I guess so," he said haltingly.

   Honest, up to this time, until his reaction, my thoughts had

been purely therapeutic. Only now did I feel a stirring of

butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I know now that he was

aware of the eroticism of the moment.

   Not knowing what else to do at that point I softly asked,

"Where should we do it?"

   "The couch in the living room?"

   I thought for a moment. "No, lets go to the couch in the rec

room downstairs." The excuse in my mind was definitely that the

rec room would be more intimate. How wicked I had become in one

short day.

   In the basement he suggested that I sit on the couch as he

pulled up an ottoman. Sitting on the ottoman, he reached for my

right foot as I lifted it to lay on his left knee. My bottom was

lower than my leg, so I had to push my dress between my thighs to

keep him from seeing my panties. Robbie scooted the ottoman

forward so that my right leg draped over his left one, the foot

hanging toward the floor. His movement placed his right knee

between my legs pointed directly at my crotch.

   He settled both hands on my right thigh about 3 or 4 inches

above the knee on the outside of my dress and began to squeeze

gently. I squinted my eyes with the pain.

   "Hurt?" he asked

   "A little," I responded.

   He continued the massage, running both hands up and down my

thigh. The outside hand moved higher than the inside hand, but

always stopped well below my crotch. I could see him swallow to

hide his nervousness. The bottom of his shirt hung low enough to

cover is bathing trunks, so I could not see his crotch.

   "This would work better on your bare skin." His voice cracked.

   "Okay." I followed the simple reply by baring my thigh up to

the hem of my panties. But no panty showed. I made sure of that.

   When his hand returned to my thigh on my bare skin, I was

surprised at the heat I felt. Not only were his hands very warm,

but the warmth passed through my body as butterflies took flight

and rose within me. The gentle hands kept up their ministrations

to me. As I glanced up at him, I found him looking straight into

my eyes which I quickly averted to watch his attention to my

thigh again.

   "Do you have a girlfriend?" I blurted. Oh my God, how dumb...

dumb... dumb! Of course he has a girlfriend--Diane, the drum

majorette. What a fool I must have seemed.

   He didn't seem phased. "Well, sort of. Diane Contento and I

have been dating sort of steady like. Nothing serious I suppose.

How about you?"


   "Do you have a boyfriend?"

   "Uh," I thought about lying, but thought better of it, "No."

   He smiled as he massaged, "You mean a pretty girl like

yourself doesn't have a boyfriend?"

   Boy, was I ever slain. If his smile had been flame, I would

have been butter. "Do you really think I'm pretty?" I asked,


   What happened then startled me so bad that I almost lost it.

His face was getting closer and closer to mine and he was

standing to turn to sit on the couch. I tried to lean away from

him, but my back was against the arm of the sofa. Before I knew

it, his mouth was on mine and he was kissing me. The major

problem was that as he stood and turned, I turned with him so

that my injured right leg was behind him, between his body and

the back of the couch, and my left foot was still on the floor.

   So there I was, lip to lip with Robbie, and I didn't even know

how to kiss. Oh, I knew how to use a dildo and a vibrator with

various attachments and such things as that, but I didn't know

how to kiss. I just sat there with my lips pressed against his.

Then, gentleman that he was, he shifted so that I could turn to

sit properly on the couch with my legs together. Both of us were

breathing a little hard.

   "I'm sorry, Cindy. I shouldn't have done that."

   "Why not?" I asked, disappointed that it had ended so quickly.

I was worried that I hadn't done it right.

   "For God's sake, you're just a kid."

   That cut me to the quick. I put a hand on each hip and let him

know in no uncertain terms, "I'm almost 15! Don't call me a kid."

   "I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that I'm... I'm...

well, I'm sorry I called you a kid." Then he was staring at me

again. Not my eyes, but just at me, in general.

   I let my eyes followed his gaze. Looking down at my body, I

noticed that a fourth button had popped loose and the tops of my

breasts were now plainly visible. My fingers came up and quickly

buttoned the guilty fastener. "Are you sorry you kissed me? I

mean really... sorry?" I searched his eyes.

   "If you mean did I like kissing you, then no, I'm not sorry. I

said I was sorry because of the difference in our ages."

   I could feel my eyes cloud as I looked up from lowered eyelids

and restated through almost clenched teeth, "I'm not a kid."

   Robbie's expression softened as he whispered, "No, I guess

you're not a kid." He sighed and pulled me to him again. This

time both arms went around me, and when he kissed I went limp.

    I noticed that his kisses were not exactly what one could

call "dry," and surmised that his mouth was open. I opened mine.

When I did, his tongue went straight between my teeth. I was

appalled, so I pushed his tongue away with mine. The surprise was

compounded when he literally sucked my tongue from my mouth into

his. About that time I decided that it wasn't so bad after all.

   Up until then, I wasn't sure where all this was going. It was

enjoyable, but something on the inside rang an alarm. Pictures

flashed through my mind: the people in the magazine doing things

with their bodies that intrigued me; the couple in the VCR movie.

I thought about the vibrator, the dildo and then came a picture

of Robbie and me naked under the sheet with him making that move

to put it in.

   His hand pushing the bra cup off my right breast brought me

back to reality. Not resisting in any way, I closed my eyes and

savored it, feeling my whole world go topsy-turvy. I was on a

high speed turntable and had to open my eyes to make sure we

weren't actually moving. "This is wrong," a voice in my head

spoke. I brought my left hand up and took hold of Robbie's wrist.

Pulling downward to remove his hand, I discovered that his

fingers were hooked over the top of the lacy cup so that all I

accomplished was the baring of one breast.

   Just as I was about to speak to tell him to stop, his hand

abandoned my breast and was replaced by his open mouth. The hot

wet feeling as he opened wide enough to engulf the whole of it

was overwhelming. I was melting all over again. My whole frame

went suddenly limp in his arms. Each of us knew that I was his to

do with as he pleased. At 14, I just couldn't call up enough

resolve to fight it. It just felt so good.

   Half expecting him to push me into a prone position, I was

surprised when Robbie shifted so that both of his feet were flat

on the floor, his left side against my right. He slipped his

right hand under my right thigh and draped it across his left

leg. My left foot was flat on the floor; my knees were almost a

foot apart. I felt his right hand slip under my dress and move up

along my injured thigh, giving it a gentle massage. It hurt when

he squeezed, but yet, it didn't hurt. Each time he reached the

top of my thigh, he paused and squeezed, his thumb on the outside

of my thigh, his fingers at the edge of the crotch of my panties.

   Robbie leaned into me and pressed me back against the

cushioned arm of the couch, his lips once more seeking mine. His

hands were opening the rest of the buttons to my waist. I heard

him "Hmm" as he discovered the clasp of my bra. He opened it and

pushed it aside until the cups were stuffed under my arms.

   Once again he was lip to lip with me, his tongue swapping

visits with mine, each hand on one of my breasts. My nipples were

still "little-girl" tiny, but he brought them to erection,

pulling and twirling them between his thumbs and forefingers. I

had sucked in my breath and held it there so many times that I

was starting to get dizzy, but I thought it was love.

   With his left hand on my right breast, his mouth left mine and

bent to the task of my left breast. I brought both my hands up.

One to press his head to my breast and the other to assist his

left hand. I was sure I knew what was coming next. He was going

to "go all the way" with me, but I didn't know when or how Robbie

would accomplish it. Still running through my brain was the very

erotic picture of us naked in bed under the sheets.

   I was wrong, but what did happen was so natural that it caught

me totally off guard. My right leg was bent at the knee draped

over his left leg. My thigh rested directly atop his. The hair on

his leg tickled the underside of my smooth thighs. Although I had

a generous amount of pubic hair for a 14 year-old, my legs were

covered only by a very light downy softness that did not yet call

for shaving, or any other depilatory for that matter.

   Robbie let his now free right hand lay lightly on the inside

of my right knee and slipped it along the smoothness of my inner

thigh until his palm was flat on my crotch. I was so startled by

this turn of events that I jumped. He began a gentle stroking,

rubbing his fingers from the bottom of my pussy to the top.

   Since I was wearing bikini briefs, he was not hindered by the

waistline of my dress. After 15 or 20 strokes from bottom to top

and top to bottom, he had worked up far enough that on a return

trip to the bottom, his whole hand slid smoothly inside the

waistband and his fingers were stroking my hairy mound. This time

he stayed at the bottom, not rising again.

   I wanted to raise my bottom off the couch and remove the

panties, but I feared that he would think me some kind of "slut."

I mean that I was ready to be screwed right then and there.

Robbie did not seem disturbed by my panties, he just continued to

stroke the hair over my slit very lightly while his mouth claimed

mine again.

   While we kissed, I felt a finger separate my pussy lips. The

attempt at entry was very gentle and the feeling unbelievably

erotic. I went totally limp again and my arms felt so weak that

my hands fell to my lap. Actually, we were so close that my right

hand fell in Robbie's lap. That's when I discovered that his own

sex organ was not dormant. I started to pull away but he stopped

kissing long enough to whisper, "It's Okay," while his left hand

pressed my palm over the bulge in his swim trunks.

   I let my hand lay there at first, but Robbie quickly returned

to his kissing and feeling. A finger very pleasantly insinuated

itself between the folds of my pussy and began stroking the

moisture that had begun to accumulate. At the same time that I

felt the finger sink slowly into my body until it was buried to

the knuckle, Robbie sucked my tongue into his mouth and twisted

my left nipple. I let my hand squeeze his sex. As the finger

eased inward until it was palm deep, I began to stroke the

material of his swimsuit. I felt it throb under my touch.

   The finger inside me began to withdraw and I hunched my hips

forward to stop its escape, but to no avail. I thought he was

stopping so that we could get on with the "real thing." Actually,

he knew exactly what he was doing. I could feel something larger

going in and then I felt his thumb and forefinger feeling in the

top of my slit for the little nub I had discovered earlier.

Evidently he had two fingers in my vagina as he began to do to my

clitoris what he had done with my nipples.

   My hips began an involuntary rocking motion which, to my

delight could regulate the both the pressure on my clit and the

depth of his fingers in my vagina. My hand also increase the

pressure of its rubbing on the outside of his garment. Both of us

were breathing rather rapidly and loudly by now.

   Just when I began to wish for my vibrator so that I could have

another "organism" I uttered something like, "Uuhhnngg," as my

private world exploded around me once more in a kaleidoscope of

color and delight. I moaned out my newest release into his mouth

and felt my pussy throbbing around his digits. I seemed to last

much longer this time and in comparison to the other times. It

seemed better just because Robbie was the one doing it.

   I put my arms around his neck and hugged him to me. It was as

if I wanted to take his whole body into myself and become one

with him. I've never had that same feeling about anyone since

that time. I just closed my eyes and luxuriated in the feelings

that were bathing me.

   As the aura subsided, I opened my eyes and found Robbie

looking at me as if I were someone he had just seen in a

different light. "Gosh, Cindy, you're something else."

   Not knowing what to say, innocently (if that's possible) I

asked, "Are we going to do it now?"

   Robbie looked puzzled. "Do what"

   "You know..." I looked for the words, discarding `screw' and

`fuck,' settling on "...go all the way."

   "My god, Cindy. Are you crazy? Do you want to get pregnant?"

He seemed aghast.

   I thought he hated me. I began to cry and tried to say, "Of

course not," but I couldn't get it out.

   "Cindy, you haven't scr... uh... gone all the way with some

other guy, have you?" Robbie asked.

   "N-no!" I answered still crying, "and I never let anyone d-do

those o-other th-things that y-you j-just d-d-did." I didn't

think it proper to tell him about my electronic friends.

   His arms went around me and he let me cry against him until it

finally subsided. "Cindy, I want to make love to you, but it

wouldn't be right. I'm afraid that what we've done here tonight

could have a bad effect on you because of your age." He paused as

he looked down into my upturned face. "But I won't say I'm sorry,

because I'm not."

   I know I smiled when he said that. and then he kissed me

again... very softly, very slowly and much too sweetly. When he

looked at me again he asked, "You had an orgasm, didn't you?"

   His question shocked me, "Orgasm? (hmmm...organism) Oh yes.

Yes, I had an... uh... orgasm." Not knowing what to say, I went

further, "Did you have one?"

   "Well, no. At least not this time." Robbie's face turned beet


   "Didn't I do it right?" I didn't know what "right" would be


   "Well, not exactly, but don't worry about it," he responded.

   "No," I blurted, "I want to do it right. Show me." I sounded

imperious, and to complement it, reached for the waist band of

his trunks.

   His hands stopped mine, but I looked up at him and saw his

resolve (if he really had any) weaken. "Okay, Cindy, if you're


   "I'm sure. After all, you did it for me. It's only fair, isn't

it?" I know I rolled my eyes at him when I said that. Since that

time and over the years, I've been left wondering if I fell more

into his plan than he did into mine.

   That's all it took. Robbie stood up and stripped of his

bathing suit and I just stared, mesmerized by his sex organ. I

was surprised that it was just hanging there. It appeared to be

about 4 inches long and had a bushy nest of pubic hair that

encircled the base and ran down to cover his sack. It looked

smaller than when I'd touched it through his clothes. I was not

an expert on the male arousal process and didn't know its ability

to grow. I could have sworn that it raised its head slightly even

as I looked at it.

   A churning feeling ran through my stomach as I remembered

pictures in the magazine showing women sucking on these things. I

wasn't sure what I had gotten myself into, but I was determined

that Robbie would have an orgasm. Besides, I'd never seen an

orgasm before.

   Robbie sat down beside me and stretched his legs out on the

ottoman. Then he leaned forward and pulled his t-shirt over his

head so that he sat there totally naked beside me.

   Nervously I asked, "Okay, what do I do first?"

   Robbie licked his lips. He was nervous too.

   "Just take it in your hand, like so." He wrapped his right

palm around the length of it, then removed his hand. I reached

over with my right hand and wrapped my fist around it just like

he showed me. "Now, with your hand around it, just move your fist

up and down on it."

   It had grown visibly since I first laid eyes in it. The head

of it took on a similar appearance to the one on the artificial

penis, only Robbie's was almost purple. I knew he had been

circumcised because I had seen little babies that had been. His

penis jerked in my hand and I looked up, a question in my eyes.

He just looked back at me and said, "Like that. Just keep going."

   I had thought that the spasm I had felt was his orgasm, but I

had been wrong. So I continued to stroke up and down his shaft. I

noticed that the head of his penis was getting a darker reddish

purple, the more I pumped on it. Robbie drew in a deep breath and

exhaled slowly, groaning slightly. This caused me to slow down

again, but he nodded for me to keep going. My arm was getting

tired, so I swapped hands. His hips began to pump just like mine

had on his fingers. Soon my other arm was tired.

   "When do I put it in my mouth?" I asked bravely.

   An anguished look came over Robbie's face and he stuttered for

a few seconds and sort of muttered, "Oh, just anytime now."

   "Is now a good time?" I asked impatiently, yet fearful of the

experience. I knew I would throw up. But I guess I had sort of

promised him.

   He coughed and cleared his throat, "Uh... yeah. Now."

   Bending over his lap, I closed my eyes and guided the end of

his cock into my mouth. Since I had never tasted anything like

whatever it tasted like, I did not know how to describe it. It

was a little salty, but other than that I didn't know that the

rest of it was a residual taste of urine. Well, I'd never tasted

urine before.

   "Lick it." he said, or rather groaned.

   So I did. I'd never licked one before, so I swathed this one

good. I got it coated with lots of my saliva and soon there was

not much taste at all. I did notice, however that the thing was

much larger now. It was only about 6 to 6 1/2 inches long, but is

was as big in diameter as my penis shaped dildo.

   "Now suck it while you use your hand," he moaned again.

   So I sucked it, and as I sucked, I let my hand continue

pumping up and down. The reason I kept pumping was that he didn't

tell me to stop. His body seemed to flutter in the midst of all I

was doing and suddenly the penis jerked in a spasm and

simultaneously I had a mouthful of liquid. My hand also felt his

penis flex accompanied by a suitable moan from Robbie. Before I

could react, the was another distinct throb and my mouth was even

fuller so that in order not to choke, I had to swallow. I jerked

my head away, the stuff running out of my mouth onto my chest and

down to my dress when his member jerked again and a glob of the

liquid hit me in face.

   "No don't quit," Robbie said as his hand wrapped around mine

and continued to pump it up and down the length of this rod that

had suddenly taken on a life of its own as it kept on jerking and

spitting its offering at me.

   By the time it had stopped, my right hand was covered with a

cloudy looking liquid that was also all over my face, my chest

and the front of my dress, not to mention inside my mouth. Robbie

was in no condition to help just now. He just sort of leaned back

and collapsed. I was furious. "What is this stuff. Get it off!"

   Robbie looked surprised, "That's my come," he said as if

surprised that I hadn't known all along. Then he saw my confusion

and consternation and reached behind me for a box of Kleenex on

the end table. I started to calm down as he very meticulously

began to wipe all of it away. First he cleaned my hands, then my

face. I don't know what happened to the stuff in my mouth. I

suppose that some ran out and that I swallowed the rest. Then he

wiped what he could off my dress. By the time he was cleaning the

dab that went on my chest, I was giggling and so was Robbie.

   "So that's how boys orgasm?" I laughed.

   "That's it."

   "Well it's not fair," I said still laughing. "What can we

girls do you guys to get back at you?"

   Robbie quit laughing, "Drive us crazy."

   We looked at each other for a few moments, aware that we had

shared in something, although forbidden us, also very special.

His arms went around me and he held me close very tightly for a

long time.

   I looked at the clock. It was nearly 2:30. I couldn't believe

that it had been three hours since I had invited Robbie in. I

took a kleenex and began to clean his now deflated tool. It was

much smaller than it was when I first saw it.

   "I better be going," he said at last.

   A little apprehensive, I asked, "Will you be back."

   "You know I'll be back."

   "Why," I asked, suppressing a smile.

   "You're my girl. That's why."

   "What about Diane?"

   His forehead wrinkled, "Diane who?"

   My laughter fairly tinkled like little bells as I threw myself

in his arms and we kissed once more. "Can't you stay just a

little longer? I'm alone here all day with nobody to talk to." I

tried to sound just a little pitiful.

   "Okay, but only if you feed me some lunch. I'm starved."

   "It's a deal," I said as I stood. I'll have to put on some

other clothes. Are you going to wear your trunks and t-shirt."

   "I better," he laughed, "I can't go around like this." He

began to dress as I went upstairs to find another dress. When I

came back down, Robbie was looking in the refrigerator. When he

turned, he let out a low whistle.

   I'm not sure why I did it, but instead of putting on something

sensible, I stood there before him wearing only a long t-shirt

that barely covered my bikini panties. It couldn't escape his

notice that I was no longer wearing a bra either.

   Mimicking the movies, "I thought I'd slip into something

comfortable," I said in my most sultry voice and then giggled.

   Robbie got a very serious look in his eyes as he walked toward

me. At first I thought he was angry, but when he kissed me I knew

he had been pushed to his limit. I didn't know anything about

"teases" and will power. I was just wanting to be grown up, now

that I had discovered sex. What I didn't know was that neither of

us were really "grown up." We just thought we were.

   So right there in the middle of the kitchen, his hands were

all over me again and before I knew it, he was carrying me into

my bedroom.

   "Cindy, I don't have any protection to keep you from getting

pregnant, but I'm going to show you something that my uncle told

me about. He said if he knew at my age what he knows now, he

could have driven any girl in school crazy." Then looking my in

the eyes, he added sensually, "I'm going to try it out on you."

   I didn't know what Robbie was talking about except "going all

the way," but it sounded exciting. He stood me beside my bed and

took my t-shirt by its bottom hem and pulled it up so that my

arms raised with it until it was gone. Almost reflexively, I

crossed my arms in front of my breasts, then dropped them to

permit his eyes to savor their pert shape.

   I felt a shiver of delight run through me when Robbie said,

"You're beautiful." He hooked his thumbs in the waist of my

panties and pulled them down my legs to my knees. I raised each

foot, first the left, then the right, to leave the garment in a

heap at my feet.

   Robbie discarded his t-shirt, but kept his trunks on. He

pulled me close and bent down to kiss me, then guiding me

backwards lay me across the bed. Somehow, I felt that we should

be under a sheet, but it really didn't seem all that important.

When Robbie stretched out on the bed beside me, I began to feel a

little scared about what was happening.

   In a little girl voice, I asked, "Robbie, what are you going

to do to me? It won't hurt, will it?"

   He smiled. "I'm going to eat you."

   My eyes widened. "Come on. What are you really going to do."

   "I already told you," he answered as he came closer, "and I

promise it won't hurt, not even a little bit." His mouth covered


   My arms went around his neck as his hands began to explore my

body. Robbie's right hand was stroking up and down the outer part

of my left thigh. I raised the knee to give him access to my

pussy, but he did not seem to notice my offer. Instead he let his

kiss trail off my mouth until his face was buried at the base of

my throat. This was a new sensation as he let his tongue lick and

probe in the tender junction of my neck and shoulder.

   He shifted his body so that his left hand could work on my

right breast. His tongue began to lick wetly from my neck around

to my ear his tongue dug deeply there. I felt goose bumps raise

up on my arms and breasts. These sensations were definitely new

and my body began to squirm in response. I closed my eyes and was

horrified at the picture that came to my mind of Robbie doing

this to Diane Contento.

   My body stiffened, but for just a moment as the tongue bath

continued. I wasn't sure what he wanted when he put a hand under

me and tried to roll me over, but I relaxed and allowed my body

to be turned so that I was laying face down. Robbie's breath was

warm on the back of my neck as he began to kiss be there, the

kisses turning to playful nips with his teeth. He lifted me so

his left hand could slide between my body and the bed to cup my

left breast.

   As his kisses and licks left my neck to continue downward to

my shoulders, his right hand began to stroke my rounded butt.

Even I knew that I had what guys call a "nice ass." I remember

when my breasts were an early disappointment, that my Mom patted

my bottom and said, "Honey, I know women who would kill for a

tush like yours." I was pleased, but even more so when I finally

filled out in the chest department. Of course, I still had a

little way to go. I would have been extremely happy to know then

that I would even increase in stature by more than two inches, as

well as, go from an A cup to a C cup.

   The hand on my ass moved downward to stroke the back of my

left thigh, then it slipped to the inside of my left knee and

pulled my legs apart. When I had been turned over, I had allowed

them to close. Shifting my body a little, I moved my legs even

further apart so there was a little more than a foot of distance

between my knees. The hand came back up to my ass and squeezed

each cheek separately while the mouth continued to roam over my


   I wouldn't have wanted Robbie to know, but this had turned

into more of a massage than any kind of so-called love-making.

That's what I was thinking right up until the hand on my ass,

made a detour to my pussy. I must have been soaking wet, because

I felt a finger make a single backstroke along my slit and it was

buried inside me. Before I could even let out a suitable moan, It

was withdrawn and replaced by two fingers.

   The two fingers left and I could tell that his thumb was now

my slit's sole occupant. Robbie let it stroke in and out as his

kisses began to dance lightly across my tight rounded ass. He was

not touching my clitoris, but it was still powerfully


   The thumb eased its way out and the two fingers went in as

relief. My body reacted next to the thumb tip placed directly at

the opening of my anus. I felt the thumb press inward, but I

tightened my hole and whispered, "No, Robbie, not there." The

thumb was gone instantly.

   My body was set in motion again as the left hand under my left

breast lifted and caused me to turn on my back again. Robbie

tried again to swallow one of my tits whole and as he did so, I

felt the thumb at my pussy again. Going in from the front with

his thumb brought the second knuckle across my clitoris with each

thrust. I felt myself climbing toward a release once more. But it

wasn't to be. As the thumb withdrew, I actually moaned in

disappointment and uttered, "Please, Robbie."

   Robbie paid no attention to me, but rather began a trail of

licks and kisses from my breasts to my belly. He paused briefly

to lick and suck at my "insy" navel. I wasn't too pleased with it

because stimulation of any kind to my navel had always caused me

to feel a little nauseous... sort of seasick, but somehow this

was different and I survived.

   Next he licked a line down my belly from my nave to the top of

my pubic bush. I was a little alarmed when he pulled at my hair

with his lips. A great relief came over me as he bypassed that

area and began to kiss and lick my thighs. I felt just a twinge

of pain in my right thigh as he turned my thighs so that they

splayed outward and lay flat on the bed. The kisses here were

like tiny flames and I shuddered with pleasure at each of them.

   My wish was, however, that Robbie get back to fingering or

thumbing my pussy. That was the best part.

   I felt my lower torso being shifted as, Robbie lay face down

between my legs. He worked his arms under my thighs and lay them

across his shoulders. What was he doing? Then his thumbs were

working to get back in. I shifted my bottom a little to lend some

assistance to the effort. The thumbs peeled me open. The next

thing I knew, Robbie's nose was buried in my sex hole.

   I tried to pull away, but my legs over his shoulders could

find no leverage for the maneuver.

   "No, Robbie. That's nasty... Ah... Oh... Hunh... Oh," and his

tongue was pushing deep into my pussy. Somehow, when he sucked my

clitoris between his lips, I knew this was the most natural thing

ever. It was just like what I had done to him.

   Both my hands found his head and pushed his face tighter to my

sex. His tongue never stopped whipping and dancing up and down,

in and out. Then he would pause to suck at my clitoris again. I

wasn't sure how he did what he did next, but I felt fingers enter

my vagina and begin to wiggle and thrust. He trapped my clitoris

between his lips and began to stroke his tongue back and forth

across it. I bit the back of my hand to keep from screaming.

   Perhaps two fingers of his right hand and the thumb of his

left were inside me. It was close quarters and stretched me as

much as my big dildo had. then the thumb was gone. This time when

it tapped at my anus, I was too occupied with the sensations that

were running through me and Robbie became a liar.

   Even though the thumb was covered by my lubricant, it hurt

like hell when he slid it past my sphincter. But I didn't care,

because at that moment, the most intense orgasm I had felt to

this point slammed into me like a freight train. My hips came off

the bed hunching wildly at his face. My hands, one on the back of

his head, the other at my mouth were fluttering almost uselessly.

My eyes rolled back and my toes cured downward. I remember saying

things through my heaving breaths like, "Yes, Oh, Robbie. Oh

yes." and every now and then I hooted out a ,"hooooomm... mmm...

ohhhh..." and such as that.

   As the throes of release began to fade, Robbie continued to

lick as I just stroked his head. The hand over my mouth was now

in repose across my eyes to shut out the light which seemed to

have become somehow too intense to look at. The thumb was the

first to go. My back door hole sort of assisted in expelling it.

Next he lifted his head to look up over my body to my flushed

face. I could hear his fingers being removed from my squashy wet


   "Like it?" Robbie asked.

   "Love it." I affirmed.

   Robbie crawled across my naked body until he could lie down

beside me. I lifted my head so he could slide his arm under it.

He was on his back, so I turned onto my right side and began to

rub his chest. He was just staring at the ceiling. I was amazed

when his nipples stood up as I let my fingernails trace over

them. "I didn't know that boys did that to." I exclaimed,


   "I don't think you know much about boys at all," he answered.

   "But I'm learning, aren't I?"

   Robbie just looked at me and smiled. After a few seconds of

thought, he commented, "You're not a kid."

   "Robbie, what about you? Do I need to do you again."

   He laughed, "Not hardly. But I am going to need a change of


   "Why? What happened?" I asked, concerned.

   "It seems that in all the excitement, my horse was in such a

tight barn, that he went off all by himself."

   I had to think about it for a little while, but when I caught

on, I put both hands over my mouth to suppress my giggles, "You



   When I had recovered from that round, I began to think a

little more seriously. I was afraid to ask him, but I needed to

know. "Robbie, please promise not to get mad, but I want to know

something. If you don't want to tell me, it's be Okay."

   "Sure, what is it?"

   I didn't know quite how to phrase it, but I went on anyway,

"How do you know all this stuff? I mean, you know, about girls,

and all... about sex and how to do it?" Before he could answer, I

went on, "You talked about being safe... what I did to you in the

rec room..." I blushed, "... and what you just did to me. How do

you know about all that."

   I could tell the question disturbed him, and I wished I hadn't

asked. It was as if I'd spoiled everything.

   "If I lied to you, you would know it's a lie," he started.

"I've done some of these things with Diane. We've been dating

since we were sophomores. By the time we were juniors, we were

into pretty heavy petting. One thing led to another until we had

experimented with just about everything there was to do. I mean,

it was mostly just feeling and touching and lots of kissing."

   He stopped and looked at the ceiling again. "Everything that I

did to you down in the rec room, I've done with Diane. What I did

to you here was the very first time I've done that. I got it from

my uncle and a book he gave me."

   I was pleased that he'd never `eaten' Diane, but was a bit

jealous of all the other. "Did she do what I did to you in the

rec room?"


   There was more but I wasn't sure. I decided to be direct,

"Robbie, did you and Diane ever... ever..." I finished in a rush


   It was as if I could hear the ring of the hammer on the nail

when he turned his head to look at me.

   "Once," he replied, "just once this past summer... just once."

   "What happened?" I asked.

   "What do you mean 'what happened'?" he asked looking puzzled.

   He misunderstood my question. Robbie thought I wanted a blow

by blow description of what they did. "I mean, why did you break


   The pause again, "We didn't use anything and her period was

late. She thought she was pregnant and wrote me a note in school.

I stuffed the note in my pocket, planning to read it later, but

forgot all about it. My Mom found the note."

   He inhaled deeply, then went on, "She called Mrs. Contento and

everyone went a little crazy. It's almost funny. Diane got her

period that same afternoon after school. We haven't dated since."

   "Do you want to?"


   I was satisfied, but needed one more reassurance, "Are you mad

at me for asking?"

   "I'm glad you asked. You're the only one who knows besides

Diane, our mothers and me. We didn't even let our fathers know."

   Kissing him on the side of the face, I sort of cuddled up

against him, "Robbie, will you go all the w... make love to me?"

   "Now?" he asked in a surprised tone.

   I whispered, "Not now, but sometime...will you?"

   "I don't think there's any question about it. I'll make love

to you... sometime." His kiss was warm and very sweet.

   I'm not sure I ever really knew Robbie, now that I think back

on that time of my life. Sometimes you want to believe in someone

so badly that you accept too much at face value. Robbie never

made love to me, as in "go all the way." For the rest of the

weekend, however, until my parents returned, it was his picture I

imagined as we labored against each other under the sheet, my

faithful dildo in hand.

   I was able to use the vibrator and dildo for several weeks

thereafter when no one else was around. Then one day, they were

gone. I searched high and low, but never saw them again. But I

know that they were around somewhere because I could hear her and

dad at play. The sound a vibrator makes when it touches a bed

frame is unique. Many was the night that I could hear them giggle

in the confines of their bedroom when the toys would

inadvertently "burp." And they still seem to be going strong

today. After all they're only 42 and 43. I'm glad it's like that

for them.

   As to Robbie, he and I never found ourselves in a situation

that could so easily lend itself to our youthful desires. After

he graduated, he and Diane went all the way at least one more

time. This time she didn't get her period and they were married

in an small civil ceremony with just a few close friends and

their two month-old son.

   It's amazing what a dream can do to jog your memory.



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