Author's Note: There is one graphic sex scene near the end of this
story that might be somewhat offensive to the heterosexual
Crossdresser. I do not write from experience -- I just wanted to
see if I could write such a scene and, also, it seemed to fit the
story better than anything else I could come up with.
Jim pulled his coat up tightly around his neck and looked nervously
from side to side as he crossed the street in front of his
apartment. The clouds hung heavy with the threat of rain. The night
was so dark and oppressive that even the streetlights seemed to
glowing with less light than usual. It was always on nights like
this that Jim's thoughts turned to his old friend Sam Campbell. How
long had it been now? Must be over two years and it all happened on
a night just like this, one block from where Jim lived.
The memory of that night filled Jim's mind. Sam had offered him a
ride home from the school meeting. About twenty minutes after Sam
left , he heard the sirens but made no connection with Sam. The
next day he read about the murder that had taken place just one
block from his apartment and later that day at school he noticed
that there was a substitute teacher for Sam. During lunch, Jim
stopped by the principal's office to inquire about Sam's absence
and that is when he learned that Sam had witnessed a murder, was
able to identified the killer and he was being held in protective
custody. In the weeks that followed the details became clear
through the news media. The killer that Sam had identified was an
underworld boss that the police had been after for years. Threats
had been made on Sam's life. After the trial, Sam was placed in the
witness relocation program and he and Jim were not allowed to
communicate in any way. It was a sad day when they said their
goodbyes. They had been roommates in college and after graduation
had both taken teaching jobs at the same high school. It didn't
seem right to have a person just removed from your life. In some
ways it was worse than loosing a friend to death. The police had
warned Jim that the mob might try to get to Sam through him and
that for his own protection, it was necessary that he never know
anything about Sam's new life. The knowledge that the mob could be
watching him was unnerving to say the least, but not nearly as bad
now as it had been during the first few months.
As Jim was unlocking his front door, his thoughts were interrupted
by the ringing of his telephone. He fumbled with the lock, got the
door open and ran to the telephone. He picked it up and said,
"Sam needs help", a voice answered.
"Who is this?"
"A friend." The voice sounded female but Jim could not be
"Where is Sam?" As soon as Jim asked that he realized that maybe he
didn't really want to know. Was this a trick by the mob to find
Sam? Jim considered just hanging up the phone.
"Sam needs you," the voice repeated. "Working at the clinic."
"What clinic are you talking about?" Jim asked.
Without any apparent reason, the voice on the other end of the line
changed the subject and said, "Sam said to ask you if you
remembered loosing your virginity?"
"Is this some kind of sick joke? Who the hell is this?"
"Sam needs you". The line went dead.
"Wait a minute," Jim shouted into the silent telephone, but it was
too late. The woman had hung-up.
He sat for a long time staring at the telephone and wondering just
what to do. Should he call the police or wait and see if another
contact was made? Was it really a plea for help from Sam of was the
mob trying to see if they could use him to flush Sam out of hiding?
Jim lost all track of time as he sat and replayed the short
conversation over and over in his mind. Finally he reached for the
phone book and looked under clinics in the yellow pages. There were
hundreds of clinics of all types each with a different name. Why
didn't the woman give him the name of the clinic? What did the loss
of his virtue have to do with anything? Maybe the caller had been
afraid to mention the name of the clinic because she knew that the
mob had tapped Jim's telephone. Possibly it was all a riddle that
he had to solve before he could find Sam.
Then it hit him. Sam had been with him when he had lost his
virginity. He and Sam had taken Mary Beth Andrews and Danielle
Newman for the weekend to Nags Head beach on the coast of North
Carolina. It was during their sophomore year in college. Jim had
planted his first seed in Mary Beth that weekend and was elated
that Sam could no longer tease him about being a twenty year old
virgin. He could even remember the name of their motel, The Tide
Water Inn. Maybe the clue was at Nags Head. Jim reached for the
phone with the intentions of calling information to see if there
was still a Tide Water Inn at Nags Head. He had already dialed the
operator when he realized that if his phone was tapped, he might be
providing the wrong people with a possible answer to the riddle. He
ignored the operator and broke the connection. He needed to call
from another location.
Jim was both excited and confused as he walked the two blocks back
to his apartment after calling the operator in Nags Head. Not only
did she still have a listing for Tide Water Inn, but she had
listings for three clinics. One was called Tide Water Clinic for
Government Research. That had to be where Sam was located, so he
had the operator ring the clinic. A woman answered and assured him
that there was no Sam Campbell either working there or on the list
of patients. She tried very hard to find out who was calling but
Jim refused to give his name. If Sam was there, why would this
woman act as though she had never heard of him? Then he realized --
Sam had most likely had to change his name and maybe even his
Jim was deep in thought when the black Buick pulled up to the curb.
Two very large men jumped out and grabbed him by the arms and began
to force him toward the car. He struggled but the two men were much
stronger than he was. He knew that these men were part of the mob
that was after Sam and the thought that they were now after him
caused a panic in him that he had never felt before. The
overpowering fear that he felt when he realized who these men were
caused the adrenaline to pump and he began to struggle like a mad
man. During the struggle, without any conscious effort of what he
was trying to do, Jim's hand slid under the jacket of one of the
men and he suddenly found that he was holding a 38 revolver in his
right hand. One of the men saw the gun and released him and reached
for his own gun before Jim even realized what he was holding.
Jim had never fired a hand gun in his life, but fear was
controlling his actions now. As the large man pulled his gun clear,
Jim pointed and fired. His lack of skill as a marksman made no
difference since the man was only three feet away. The bullet
struck the mobster squarely in the chest and the impact knocked him
into the second man. Jim fired again as the second man tried to
regain his footing not knowing if he had hit anyone or not.
As Jim ran away from the awful scene, he looked back to see if he
was being chased. He saw a second car turning onto the street at a
fast rate of speed. There must be more of them. He turned into an
alley in hopes of loosing his pursuers and tripped over a trash
can. He fell hard on his left arm and felt the bone snap. The gun
skidded away and was lost in the trash. He got to his feet and
tried to run but the pain in his arm was bad and he felt faint. He
didn't even make it to the end of the alley before he collapsed.
Jim didn't know how long he was unconscious. He did know that there
were times when he was semiconscious and felt the presents of other
people. He could remember being loaded into a car and he could
recall voices but could not remember what was said. At one point he
knew that someone was working on his broken arm. He did recall that
he was no longer afraid. His arm did not hurt and his totally
relaxed state indicated that he had been given an injection of some
kind. Hopefully, that meant he was receiving medical attention.
Some time later he did awake fully and could tell by his
surroundings that he was in a hospital bed with an IV connected to
his arm. A woman in a nurse's uniform was standing by his bed. His
first question was, "Where am I?"
"You are in the Tide Water Clinic and you have a very nasty break
in your arm," answered the nurse.
"How did I get here?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Clemmons, I'm not allowed to answer any questions.
Miss Adams will be here first thing in the morning and she will
tell you everything that you need to know."
"But ---. What happened to the man I shot?" Jim felt the panic
returning as he began to recall his ordeal. Who brought me
The nurse interrupted, "Now Mr. Clemmons, I told you that I could
not answer questions, so stop asking. I am allowed to tell you that
you are safe now and to give you something to eat. Are you hungry?"
Jim had to admit that he was. He had lost all tract of time and had
no way of knowing when he last ate.
The nurse brought him a very tasty meal but made sure that he
didn't over do it. He tried again to pump her with questions but
she would offer no information. She did tell him that her name was
Sally but her last name remained a secret. He tried to find out who
the mysterious Miss Adams was but to no avail.
Sally would only say, "She is a friend,"
After he finished the meal, Sally added something to the IV tube
that was attached his good arm and it made him very sleepy. Even
though his arm was in a cast, Sally explained that it would be
properly set in surgery tomorrow. In a matter of minutes he was
The next morning, Jim awoke feeling better but hungry. Sally came
in with his breakfast and Jim wondered if she had worked all night.
He knew better than to start asking questions again so he simply
ask when Miss Adams would in. Sally assured him that she would be
Jim ate his breakfast, Sally cleared the dishes and he waited an
hour before the door to his room opened again. A beautiful, tall,
well proportioned blond lady walked into his room. She smiled and
said, "Hi Jim. Long time no see."
There was something about the lady that was familiar to Jim but he
felt sure that they had never met before.
"Do I know you?"
"My name is Samantha Adams and you used to know me very well,"
answered the tall blond.
That's funny," said Jim, "but I'm pretty sure we've never met. I
think I would remember someone as pretty as you."
"Thank you very much, but I wasn't nearly this attractive when you
knew me. Don't you remember your old friend Sam Campbell?"
"Of course I remember Sam ............" Jim stopped in mid
sentence. 'This couldn't be Sam,' he thought. 'The height was about
right but nothing else was. Even if Sam wanted to look like a girl,
which Jim knew he never would, he couldn't manage to look this
"What the hell is going on here? There is no way you and Sam
Campbell are one and the same. I knew Sam too well."
"Well, I certainly am not Sam Campbell now, but I can assure you
that I once was," said Samantha. "What do you think of the new me?"
"I don't believe this. I just can't conceive of such a thing."
For thirty minutes Samantha told Jim of things that only Sam would
know. Finally, Jim had to admit that this really was his old
college roommate. He had a thousand questions.
"Hold on a minute," Samantha said. "Let me start at the beginning
and tell you the entire story."
You know the story of the trial and what lead up to it so I won't
repeat all of that. When they brought me here I can tell you that
I was really scared. There was a contract out on my life and I
didn't have much confidence in the relocation program. I felt lost
and as alone as I have ever felt. I knew that drastic measures
would have to be taken for my protection but at the time I had no
idea just how wonderful those changes could be, but I'm getting a
little ahead of the story.
Dr. Joseph Hoenig was in charge of my case when I first arrived. He
explained the old methods of relocation, some minor plastic
surgery, a new name, new records and a new town to live in. He said
that in all honesty, these methods had a success rate for
protecting witnesses of about eighty per cent. That meant that
twenty per sent of these people were either killed or injured for
life. Then he said that he wanted to explain a new program that, so
far, had a success rate of one hundred per cent.
He explained that it wasn't right for everyone, but because of my
small bone structure, my height of only five-eight and other
features, he was sure that I would be a perfect candidate. When he
said, "Change the male to a female," you could have knocked me over
with a feather. My first reaction was, "No way". As he continued to
explain he had me partially convinced that it might be better to be
a live female than a dead male but it took a lot of talk to
persuade me completely.
There were two levels of change that I could choose from.
1. The Female Disguise: Some minor surgery. Hormone treatments.
Extensive training in how to act completely female. Complete facial
electrolysis. This one is mostly reversible with minor surgery,
possibly a mastectomy and the facial hair can not be reginerated.
The procedure is fairly effective.
2. The Total Female: All of the above with sex reassignment
surgery. Not reversible because the male sex organs are permantly
removed and female organs are constructed. Most effective.
You know how I have always hated shaving so that part didn't sound
so bad. However, I had a lot of doubts about all of the other
changes that would take place. I didn't know what scared me most at
that point; the mob or Dr. Hoenig.
After several days of extensive sole searching, asking hundreds of
questions and praying a lot, I decided to go ahead with Dr.
Hoenig's plan. I agreed to give him a free hand up to sex
reassignment surgery. I was sure that I didn't want to go that far.
I should have been suspicious when he smiled and said, "We'll see
how you feel in six months."
Within an hour after I agreed, all of my clothes were removed from
my room and replaced with dresses, skirts, blouses, bras, panties,
slips, etc. Nancy Chan, a beautiful oriental lady, was assigned the
job of molding me into a gentle, ladylike, nurturing, tender,
womanly person and she was good at her job. Nancy gave me the first
of many hormone shots that day and helped me shave the hair from my
legs, arms, underarms and chest. I felt skinned and embarrassed as
she dressed me in bra, panties, slip, nylons and a pretty red and
I can still remember her saying, "Remember, my pretty one, no more
boy clothes. If you to become girl, must not even think boy
She meant it too. I have not even been allowed to have a male
thought since that day. If I played tennis, Nancy made me wear a
tennis dress. If I wanted to watch a football game on TV, she would
come into my room and change the channel to the ballet of a woman's
talk show. She would even come into my room at night to make sure
I was sleeping in a lacy night gown. She taught me to sit, walk,
talk and even to run in a completely new way. My hair was allowed
to grow and Nancy gave me my first perm. As it grew even longer,
she taught me how to care for and style it. She was real fussy
about my nails. I had to keep them polished and filed just right.
The funny thing is that after a few months, I began to enjoy these
things. It was fun to try and style my hair in a new way. If I
accidentally broke a nail it really bothered me.
The hormone shots continued for about a month. One day Dr. Hoenig
called me to his office and said, "Samantha," no one called me Sam
anymore, "We have been watching you very closely for side effects
to the hormone treatments and there are none. I think that it is
time to give you a time release implant that will automatically
release a daily dose of hormones that will, for all practical
purposes, convince your body that it is female."
"That sounds rather permanent," I said. "Won't that create changes
that will be irreversible?"
"Oh no, it will have to be replaced every year. You will notice a
change in your body shape. Your breast will enlarge, your hips
become rounder and sex, as a male, will be out. An erection will
most likely become impossible, but if we do not renew the implant
next year, you should, in time, revert back to the old Sam. Well,
almost anyway with the help of some chemicals and we can always
remove your breast surgically.
I know you think I was crazy to allow this, but as strange as it
might sound, I was beginning to enjoy this new way of life. I
lifted my skirt and pulled down my panties and leaned over the
examining table. As the doctor inserted the needle in my hip I felt
a chill of excitement run from my head to my toes. I could feel the
implant inter my body and I felt like I was being reborn. It was
almost a religious experience.
The electrolysis treatments were the most uncomfortable part of my
treatments. It seemed to take forever. Some days I would spend as
much as four hours at a time with the electrologist and then many
of the hairs would return and they would have to be removed all
over again. Eventually though, they were all gone and I now have a
smooth completion that I love. No more shaving is wonderful.
The voice training was difficult in the beginning but seemed to
become easier as the female hormones took control of my body. My
mannerisms, my voice and my general demure have become such a part
of me now that I don't think I could change back if I wanted to.
Oh, I'll admit that while all of these changes were taking place,
I often had doubts. Nancy seemed to always know when I was having
these periods of anxiety and she would bring me a new dress, a new
gown or dream up some very feminine activity for me and my
apprehension would be forgotten.
One day, I believe it was in June of last year, Nancy came into my
room and said that she had two surprises for me. I had just emerged
from the shower so I called to her from the bathroom that I wasn't
"Get something on and come in here."
My shoulder length hair was soaking wet so I wrapped it up in a
towel, turban style. I slipped into my lace trimmed panties and
donned my bra, which was now a "C" cup that I filled completely. My
pink bathrobe matched my slippers. I knew that Nancy would probably
scold me for not wearing any make-up but I was too eager to see
what she would dazzle me with this time.
To my surprise, Nancy said, "I think that we are finally a success.
Even with your hair wrapped in that towel and no make-up, you are
beautiful. I believe old Sam is gone forever."
I could feel myself blushing and I said, "Stop trying to embarrass
me. What are your big surprises?"
She handed me a small unwrapped box which I opened. There were a
beautiful pair of diamond ear rings but they were not the clip-on
style. "These are for pierced ears," I said.
"Right. Now sit down here and let me fix your ears."
"I'm not sure I want holes in my ears."
"Don't be ridiculous. All ladies have their ears pierced now."
I didn't really put up much of an argument because I had been
thinking about piercing my ears for several weeks now. Nancy opened
a little kit that she had with her and in no time she had holes in
both ears and the new ear rings had been inserted. I walked over to
the mirror, turned from side to side and said, "I love them. Thank
you Nancy. What is the other surprise?"
"Well, Samantha, it is time for you to spend some time away from
this complex. You are a beautiful, confident lady in the safety of
the clinic but you need to spread your wings out in the big world."
"Are you trying to tell me that I'm being kicked out," I asked.
"No. It is just time for you to mix with others." Then she dropped
the bomb. "You have a date tonight -- With a Man."
I wasn't at all sure how I felt about this new test. Surely, I had
become more feminine than I would have ever thought possible, but
was that only in my own mind. I liked the new me, in fact, I had
become to prefer this new life. When I looked in the mirror I was
delighted with what I saw, but did I see what I wanted to see?
Would others see me the same way or would they see a pathetic
creature trying to be something that would never be? Nancy was
right -- I had to find out if this would work, but with a man on a
date would be a very nerve racking experience.
"Wouldn't it be better if just you and I went out together for the
first time," I asked.
"No. You are still under protective custody and the only way the
director would agree to let you out this early was to be
accompanied by an agent."
"I'll bet that this is a real treat for him," I said as
sarcastically as I could.
"All he knows is that you are a young lady that is in the witness
protection program and he is to give you a night on the town and
protect you with his life. How he feels about you as a woman is up
"So, he is being paid to take me out."
"Well, yes, sort of. But, I have seen him and he is cute. You'll
like him and he is not married. Be careful though. I've got a
feeling that he is going to try to get into your pants just like
any other red-blooded boy would."
"And what, may I ask, am I supposed to do if he finds out that I am
not exactly what I seem to be?"
"Believe me, honey, if you can control yourself and keep him out of
your pants, he will never know."
"I'm not worried about my control," I said. "What about his?"
"There are many ways a lady can tease a man and still remain in
control of a situation," She gave me a sly smile and said, "We'll
talk about it while I help you dress."
And we did. Nancy had obviously had lots of experience with men and
the girl talk flowed in abundance as she permed my hair and helped
me select the perfect dress, shoes and jewelry for my first date.
By four o'clock that afternoon, I was as excited as a high school
girl going to her first prom.
My date's name was Chuck Archer and, I have to admit that he was
cute. Looker pretty good myself in my low cut black dress with
spaghetti straps. The dress fit like a glove and all of my newly
developed curves were visible. My four inch heels were also black
and my little diamond necklace matched my new pierced earrings
perfectly. My freshly permed hair hung to my shoulders and neatly
turned under at the ends in a snazzy page style. I could tell that
Nancy had added a little color because my thick mane looked blonder
than it had yesterday. The outfit was topped off with a light,
waist length white and black jacket that open down the front
showing just enough of the top of my dress and cleavage to create
Chuck was a gentleman and I was nervous in the beginning but as the
evening progressed, I became very relaxed and caught-up in the
excitement. We had a delicious dinner in a very plush restaurant
and everyone treated me like a lady. I assumed that Chuck was on an
expense account because cost seemed to be of no concern to him. I
was having a wonderful time. I felt like a lady, I acted like a
lady and in my mind I was a lady.
After dinner we went dancing and I discovered that I loved being
held by Chuck and guided around the dance floor. Chuck was a
wonderful dancer. Several times I caught other men looking at me
and dozens of women were watching me with envy because I was
dancing with the best looking man in the place.
Before I realized it the time was 1 am and I knew from our
conversation that Chuck needed to be up early the next day to fly
to Atlanta. I suggested that maybe we should call it an evening and
Chuck insisted on one more dance so I assumed that he was having
fun also. I really hated for the music to end during that last
Standing outside the building that housed my living quarters, Chuck
said, "Look Samantha, I know that you understand that it was part
of my job to take you out tonight and I must admit that I tried to
get out of this assignment at first. In all honesty though, I had
a wonderful time and I would love to see you again."
"I had a delightful time but I'm not sure ........."
Before I could finish my sentence, he put his arms around me and
pulled me close to him. I knew that I should stop him, but my
willpower just melted away. I looked up into his eyes and said, "I
would love to see you again."
Our lips met and I was unable to offer any objection. At first the
kiss was soft and genital, but when I reached up and put my arms
around his neck it became more passionate. I felt his tongue part
my lips and slide deeply into my mouth and I felt myself wanting to
be penetrated by this man in a way that was not possible. The kiss
finally ended and I felt so weak that I was afraid that my legs
would not hold me up if he released me. I said, "good night" and
turned to leave on wobbly legs. As I reached my door, Chuck took my
hand and turned me around and we kissed again. His hand found my
breast and I could feel my nipples become hard. I could feel the
bulge in his pants pressing against my stomach. That is when I knew
that I had to end this new found delight.
I gently pushed him away and said, "Remember, you have to get up
"You are right. I'll call you next weekend when I get back. Would
you mind if I called you from Atlanta?"
"Do you have my number?"
"Oh yes." He leaned down and kissed me again lightly on the lips
and said good night. I stood on the steps and watched as he drove
past the guard house and his car disappeared down the street. I was
feeling emotions that I had never felt as a man. Oh, don't get me
wrong. I didn't think I was in love with Chuck, at least not after
just one date. I was realistic enough to know that if he had known
that I was really a man, he would never have kissed me. What I did
know, however, was that I was in love with being a girl.
I knew what I wanted. Early the next day I called Dr. Hoenig and
ask him to schedule me for sex reassignment surgery as soon as
Jim had listened intently and with fascination as Samantha told her
story. It was a shock and a difficult story to believe, but the
living proof stood before him now. He had to admit that there was
a glow of happiness about Samantha that he had never seen in Sam.
He had a thousand questions but didn't know where to start.
"Sam ... Ah, I mean Samantha, how does all of this affect me. I
mean -- I am glad to see you again, but why did you call me the
other night and say that you were in trouble? And, what about my
job? I'm supposed to be at work right now."
"Don't worry about the job. Our people took care of that. You have
resigned in good standing due to medical reasons. As for last
night, I was trying to warn you. We got word that the mob had
decided to go after you in the hope that they could use you to
flush me out. That would not have worked and they would have surely
killed you. We didn't have time to get a man to you so I tried to
give you an edge with that call. I couldn't tell you more on the
phone because your phone was tapped."
That news gave Jim a sick feeling in his stomach.
"Oh no," Jim moaned. "What am I supposed to do?"
"It is even worse now," answered Samantha. "You probably have not
been told yet, but you killed one of them last night an hurt the
other really bad. Our people got word this morning that a contract
has been taken out on your life."
"Oh, damn! You're telling me that I'm as good as dead. Oh no, I'm
a dead man. Samantha, can the police protect me? What a dumb
question -- I know they can't."
"Calm down, Jim. You are not a dead man yet. You could be a live
woman like me." Samantha smiled and pushed a loose hair back into
"No way, good buddy! I'm not ready to change my life the way you
have. You keep that doctor of yours away from me."
"Come on, Jim. It is your one chance to be safe. You will make an
even better candidate than I was. How tall are you -- five-five or
five-six. You are smaller than me, you are small boned, you really
have very little body hair and your features are already rather
pretty in a feminine way."
"Forget it, Sam. I'm not interested!"
Samantha sat looking out the window for several minutes before she
spoke. "We did some checking on you Jim. We've talked to your mom
and your sister and we know that you have dabbled in crossdressing
since you were six. Your sister told our investigator about how you
used to enjoy wearing her clothes."
"That was a long time ago."
"We also checked your apartment,Jim. I know you didn't have a
female roommate. Who do the dresses in your closet belong to?"
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"And the panties, the bras and the slips. Who do they belong to?"
"OK. So I have a strange hobby. I may even qualify as a
transvestite, but I am not a transsexual and I'm not ready to have
body parts removed or added. I just use those clothes to relax in
after work. My answer to your proposal is NO!"
"I'm sorry dear friend, but the decision is not yours to make."
Samantha brushed a tear from her cheek. "It has already been made
for you. We are going to keep you alive."
Jim was shocked and he felt trapped. He could run but where to and
if he ran now he would be running for the rest of his life. He
needed help, but the kind of help the government was offering was
preposterous. And too, he needed medical treatment for his broken
All he could manage to say was, "Sam, that is against the law.
Please don't try and force me into something that I don't want."
"Please Jim, try to understand my position in this. I know that you
will probably hate me for the rest of your life but as your friend,
this is the surest way I know to save your life."
"Why can't I make my own decisions in something that affects me
more than anyone else?" Asked Jim.
"We've got a time problem. Dr. Hoenig just doesn't have the luxury
of being able to take you through this as slowly as he did with me.
I was just sure when we discovered your crossdressing that you
would welcome these changes of at least accept them with some
"What time problem are you talking about?"
"It took over a year for me to become what you see. The same will
be done for you in five months. This is a federal program and what
is being done for you is very expensive. You could not afford it on
a teacher's pay. Congress has not appropriated the funds to
continue this program. Unless Dr. Hoenig can create a miracle with
congress, this entire facility will close in five months. You and
I will both be on our own at that time."
Jim didn't speak. He just stared at Samantha with anger in his
Samantha continued, "This afternoon you are going to surgery to
have that broken bone in your arm repaired and while you are
asleep, Dr. Hoenig would like to do the sex reassignment surgery.
He will not do that without your permission."
"Well, you tell him I said hell no!"
"What he will do, with or without your permission, is remove your
testicles. It is important that the female hormones begin to act as
quickly as possible and with the testicles gone there will be no
male hormones to interfere with their progress. I'm sorry to be so
blunt, but it is going to happen for your own good."
"Wait a damn minute," said Jim. "I'm not agreeing to any hormone
injections and don't you let that butcher near my gonads."
"It's too late for that now. Last night, right after your arm was
splinted, a time release implant was put into your body. You can't
get it out. Right now, your body thinks that it is female. With the
testicles removed you should begin to form breast in a matter of
weeks. Your fate is set. Why not relax and enjoy it."
Without another word, Samantha stood and walked to the door. As she
opened the door she stopped and turned to a bewildered Jim and
said, "Please don't hate me too mush." She left without waiting for
Jim was angry, scared and embarrassed. Sure he liked to
occasionally wear feminine clothes but that was a personal secret
that he had guarded all of his life and these people had no right
to pry into his life the way they had. Now they planned to use him
like a piece of meat and preform experiments on his body without
his permission. He tried frantically to form a plan to stop them.
He knew from what Samantha had said that there was a guard house,
which meant that the place was most likely heavily guarded. If he
could get out, he still had to get his broken arm set somewhere and
who would protect him from the mob. Maybe he could find a doctor
that could remove the hormone implant before it took complete
control but how in the hell would he ever explain how it got there.
Jim was deep in thought when the nurse came into his room. He
noticed that she was doing something with the IV bottle that was
feeding nourishment into his veins but it was too late to stop her
by the time he realized that she had added a sedative to the IV
fluid. He felt the warm glow spread up his arm and across his chest
and his last thought before his heart spread the sleep inducing
fluid throughout his body was, 'I lost -- There will be no escape
When Jim awoke he felt a little groggy but fairly alert. His first
reaction was that it had all been a dream and everything would be
OK. He raised his arm and the weight of the cast told him that it
was no dream. With his good arm he quickly moved his hand to the
bandage between his legs. He felt as though he was going to be
sick. The penis was there but even through the gauze bandage, he
could tell that he no longer had testicles.
In the days that followed, Jim was anything but a good patient. He
was moved to another room that was nice but he wouldn't admit it to
anyone. It was a very femininely decorated room with his own bath,
and a balcony that overlooked a swimming pool and the tennis
courts. The balcony was four floors up so that it offered no outlet
for escape. His closet was full of dresses, skirts and blouses. All
in his size. In his heart he was dying to try on some of the pretty
items but he refused to because it was the only way he had to fight
back. All he would wear was a pair Chic jeans and a t-shirt. The
drawers to his pretty dresser were full of bras, panties and slips.
There was no male underwear so he had to wear a pair of panties but
he choose a pair that had the least amount of lace. He had to
admit, to himself only, they did feel good. His legs, arms and
chest had been shaved during surgery but he refused to shave them
himself. He even refused to shave his face.
In the beginning, Jim would not cooperate with the electrolysis so
Dr. Hoenig started withholding his food and eventually Jim gave in
and his light beard was removed in a fairly short time. Nancy,
Samantha's friend, explained that because the male hormones were
gone and his body produced only female hormones now the beard was
much easier to remove. Still, Jim would only wear the jeans and
t-shirt even though Nancy would lay out a pretty skirt and blouse
or dress every morning for him. His hair was quite long and Nancy
would offer to help him style it but Jim would refuse.
One morning, after Jim dressed in the jeans and t-shirt he glanced
into the mirror and was shocked by his reflection. His enlarged
chest was no longer hidden by the loose fit of his large t-shirt
and his hips had really filled the jeans. A week later his breast
were so large that they became somewhat uncomfortable and bounced
considerably when he walked. Finally, for comfort reasons only, he
told himself, he put on a bra. He was standing in front of the
mirror, secretly admiring his shape when Nancy walked in.
"You are developing a beautiful figure, Dear," Nancy said. "I'll
bet you would look beautiful in that sun-back. I'll be happy to fix
your hair for you."
"No," was Jim's only answer.
"Look mister, I'm getting tired of your attitude and your lack of
cooperation." Nancy had never raised her voice to Jim before and he
could tell that she was angry. "You could be one of the prettiest
girls in this state if you would only put out a little effort, but
no, you insist on fighting us at every turn. I assume that you are
trying to punish us for your problems but we are not your enemy.
Your enemy is out there," she pointed out the window, "and your
worst enemy is in there," she pointed toward Jim's head.
"You want to be a man so badly," Nancy was literally shaking with
anger. "Let's play it your way. I'll be right back."
She left the room and slammed the door behind her.
Jim stared at the door in awe. He would never have believed that
this pretty little lady had such a fiery temper and her speech had
left him with some guilt feelings. He realized that he had not made
many friends during the past fifteen weeks. Even Samantha had not
been by to see him but twice since that first day. But still, they
had no right to force these changes on him. They had gone slow with
Samantha and her wishes were respected but not with him. All
because of a lot of bureaucratic bull shit. It just wasn't fair.
Nancy entered his room without knocking, slammed the door again and
through a suitcase on his bed.
"OK mister macho man," she said, "here are your clothes from your
apartment -- your boy clothes. You will find the keys to a 1991
Honda and five thousand dollars in the suitcase to get you started.
You can not return to your old apartment because it is not safe and
it has been rented. After you get dressed, call me and I will give
you a boy haircut and take you to Dr. Hoenig. He will remove the
implant and give you some male hormone pills. In a few months you
should have your old sloppy male shape back. You are free to
"What about my beard and testicles? You plan to return those too?"
"Stuff a couple of walnuts in your pants and buy yourself a fake
beard for all I care. You probable won't be alive in six months
Before he could respond, she was gone. For the third time the walls
shook as Nancy banged through the door.
Jim opened the suitcase and selected a white shirt and a pair of
gray slacks. He found socks and underwear but no shoes. As though
reading his mind, Nancy opened his door and through a pair of shoes
at him. Again the door withstood her violent closing.
After dressing, Jim stood before his mirror. Everything was all
wrong. His pants were too big in the waist and too small across the
hips and butt. Even with the bra off, it was almost impossible to
hide his breast. He thought, 'maybe a good haircut will help.' He
pulled his long, unkept hair up and put on a baseball cap. It
didn't help. His facial features, even without any make-up looked
more feminine than a man would be comfortable with. He couldn't
believe that he had changed so much. As he looked at the effeminate
figure in the mirror he finally realized that he would be no match
for the mob and Nancy was probably right. He would be lucky to last
He had to admit to himself that the reflection in the mirror, even
in the ill fitting clothes and silly ball cap was rather pretty. He
suddenly recognized what must be done.
As quickly as possible, he got out of the baggy male clothes. He
rambled through his drawers until he found a strapless bra and a
pair of very pretty panties. After they were on , he took the
gorgeous sun-back dress out of the closet and laid it on his bed.
He had wanted to wear it for a long time now but wouldn't because
of his stupid pride. The war was over - He would surrender and,
maybe, be the winner after all.
Jim went into the bathroom and quickly shaved his legs and
underarms. As he applied make-up, he wished that he had paid more
attention to his teachers. After a while the job was done but he
realized that there was room for improvement. The eyes were the
hardest and he finally decided to only apply a little mascara and
see if Nancy would help with the rest.
He returned to his room and carefully pulled the dress over his
head taking care not to get make-up on it. It surely fit better
than the pants and shirt had. While fastening the halter top behind
his neck he realized that his hair was a mess. It had grown to his
shoulders but had received no care because of Jim's attitude. It
was uneven and straight and no matter what he tried to do with it,
he saw no improvement. Finally he combed it straight back and up
from his neck and simply put a rubber band around it to form a pony
tail. That looked better than anything he had tried.
The panty hose he found in the bottom drawer felt good on his
freshly shaved legs and he found a half slip that was the right
length for his dress. Matching three inch heels were in the closet
and after everything was in place he stood before the mirror again.
"Now, that looks much better," he said and no longer cared who
Jim boldly left his room and walked the long hallway toward the
office area. As he reached the area in which Nancy's office was
located, there were rows of desk that were occupied by clinic
secretaries. Heads turned as he passed. Just as he reached Nancy's
door one of the girls began to applaud, then another until the
entire secretary pool was giving him a standing ovation. Obviously,
Nancy heard the commotion outside her door because before Jim could
reach for the knob, the door opened.
Nancy just stood with a surprised look on her face and stared
wide-eyed at Jim.
"Could you help me with this hair," Jim said in a very meek voice.
Nancy broke into a big smile. "Oh Jamie, I love you." She ran to
him and through her arms around his neck.
From that day on, no one ever called "her" Jim again. The name
Jamie stuck and "Jamie" loved it.
"Come with me, beautiful lady. We will not only fix your hair but
we will fix your life."
Nancy had tears in her eyes as she took Jamie by the hand and lead
News and/or gossip usually traveled fast within the family
atmosphere of the clinic complex, but for some reason Samantha was
one of the last to hear that Jamie had finally giving in and was
cooperating. Samantha had seen little of Jim, or Jamie as she had
been instructed to call him now, since the day he had become so
angry when she told him of his fate. She felt guilty and
responsible for what had happened to him. She didn't want Jim to be
angry with her, but she just didn't know how to apologize figuring
that he was in no mood to accept her apology anyway. It was easier
to just stay away from him. She had asked about him every day and
her depression had only deepened when she learned of his lack of
As soon as Samantha heard the good news, she rushed from her room
and literally ran to the wing where Jamie's room was. She paused
outside Jamie's door and thought, 'What makes you think he or she,
I hope, will even now forgive you?' She had to face Jamie someday
and it was time. She took a deep breath, said a little prayer and
opened the door.
Nancy had just removed the curlers from Jamie's hair and was in the
process of combing it out when Samantha opened the door. Jamie
turned toward Samantha as she entered and for several long seconds
they just stared at each other.
Samantha finally broke the silence. "Oh Jamie, you look simply
"I'm feeling much better about myself," Jamie answered. "I feel
Samantha was still having trouble deciding what she should say. She
began, "Jamie, I'm so sor........"
Jamie interrupted with, "Samantha, I'm sorry that I was such an
Several awkward seconds passed again before Jamie stood and walked
to Samantha. Both girls began to cry. They put their arms around
each in a loving embrace, each kissing the other's cheek and both,
at the same time, trying to tell the other how sorry they were.
Nancy realized that the girls needed some time alone, so she
started for the door. As she was leaving, she heard Samantha say,
"Jamie, oh my dear, sweet friend Jamie, We are going to do so many
fun things together. You are going to love being my best girl
friend, I promise."
The two girls were like sisters after that. If you saw one of them
you could be sure that the other was not far behind. Samantha
helped Jamie with her voice and make-up lessons. They swam and
sunbathed together almost every day and both had beautiful tans.
Jamie could not believe how sexy she looked when she stood naked
before her mirror and saw the white areas where her bikini had
protected her skin from the sun. It made her large breast seem even
larger. The only trace of masculinity left was her small, inactive
penis. It looked so small to her now that it was hardly noticeable
and it was easy to hide. Dr. Hoenig and Samantha both encouraged
her to go ahead and remove it, but Jamie still was not ready to
take that step. Neither the good doctor nor Samantha wanted to
force their recommendations on her so they just stopped making the
One day near the beginning of June, Samantha came into Jamie's room
bubbling over with excitement. Jamie was in the bathroom combing
"Jamie, where are you?" she shouted. "Get out here. I've got great
Jamie came out or the bathroom still brushing her hair. "What is
"I've got so much to tell you that I don't know where to begin.
Have you lightened your hair. I like it."
"Forget my hair, Samantha, and tell me the news. Start at the
"OK. As you know, you and I have to leave this place next week. The
clinic is being converted into a VA hospital and Dr. Hoenig's
relocation program ends."
"I know all of that. I thought you had good news."
"I do, dear. Dr. Hoenig's people have found us teaching jobs in
Florida and we will be teaching in the same school and they have
purchased us a beautiful condo on a beach that we can share."
Jamie jumped into the air and squealed with delight. She had become
rather dependent on Samantha and the thought that they would be
separated next week terrified her. The two girls danced around the
room like two school girls laughing, hugging and making plans.
Suddenly, Jamie became very quiet.
"What is the matter?" Samantha asked.
"It won't work, Samantha. I don't have a teaching certificate for
the state of Florida. I can't even get a college transcript in my
new name. No one is going to give me a teaching job without
checking my credentials."
"Oh my pretty one, you underestimate the power of the United States
government," Samantha said with a big smile. "Open that package I
There was a large file folder laying on Jamie's dressing table. She
had seen it in Samantha's hand earlier but had thought nothing
about it. Inside, she found a stack of documents and as she pulled
them out a small laminated card fell to the floor. She picked it
up. It was a Florida driver's licenses for a Miss Jamie Lynn
Parker, picture and everything. It was her driver's licenses. She
looked through the other papers. All were for Miss Jamie Lynn
Parker. She found her teaching certificate, a college transcript,
a high school and a college diploma and even her birth certificate.
In a separate folder she found tax records for the last five years.
She was not even sure what some of the documents were. As she dug
deeper, she found a beautifully framed photograph. It was a family
portrait of Jamie's real mother, father and sister. The amazing
part was that there was a fourth person in the picture and it was
"How did they do that?" Jamie asked.
"They are good, aren't they. The nice part is that your family also
has a copy of that picture. They have been told all about the new
you - why and how it happened. They send their love and support and
insist that you visit them right after you return from your
"What vacation? I have no money for a vacation."
"Oh yes you do, my sweet. I told you I had lots of good news when
I came in. You and I are leaving this weekend on a seven day cruise
with all expenses paid by the federal government. It is part of the
relocation cost and Dr. Hoenig is prescribing it as part of our
education. He says that it will make us more comfortable in our new
Again, Jamie squealed with delight and both girls started making
"I don't have a thing to wear," said Jamie.
"Get dressed, honey. We are going shopping."
And they did. They shopped for two days, had their hair and nails
done at a nice salon and Jamie had her ears pierced at a jewelry
store. Jamie felt so comfortable in her new feminine role that she
could hardly even remember her old male self. One thing she could
remember was that she had never been this happy as a man. She
almost wished that she had allowed Dr. Hoenig to complete his handy
work, but there was no time for that now. Maybe later.
The day they left for their cruise, Dr. Hoenig came by to wish them
good luck. Both girls cried as they were saying their goodbyes. The
doctor assured them that all of their things would be shipped to
their condo in Florida and everything would be in place before they
returned. He gave each girl his phone number and address and
insisted that they keep in touch. Their personal cars had been
disposed of so that no one could trace them that way, and the
government had already parked new ones at the condo in Florida.
As Jamie and Samantha were preparing to enter the cab that would
take them to the airport, Dr. Hoenig called Jamie to the side.
"Jamie, please don't be angry," said the doctor, "But you really do
need one more operation."
Jamie looked down at her feet and was unsure as to how she wanted
to answer him. She said nothing.
Dr. Hoenig took her hands in his and said, "Do me a favor and just
think about it. I'm getting old and I will not be around forever
and I know that you will want it someday. I don't want you going to
another doctor because it might blow your cover. Call me anytime
day or night and we will talk."
"I promise, I'll think about it," she said.
Dr. Hoenig gave her a kiss on the cheek and said, "I hope both you
girls have a wonderful time on this trip."
The cruise was an exciting and wonderful experience for both girls.
Jamie, having had less exposure as a girl than Samantha had, was
completely overwhelmed with it all. She wanted to do everything and
never seemed to tire. It was all that Samantha could do to keep up
with her. For every new activity, Jamie would want to wear a new
outfit and redo her hair. The second day out of Miami, Samantha sat
Jamie down for a talk.
"Look young lady," she said, "I you keep changing clothes ten times
a day, you are going to run out of things to wear before the week
ends. Your hair looks beautiful. Stop changing it so much. I don't
want you to start your new job with a bald head."
"I know that I'm acting like a silly school girl," Jamie answered,
"But this is all so new and I want to pack as much into this week
as I can."
"You really are enjoying being a girl, aren't you."
"Oh yes! It's wonderful and I want to think you for not giving up
"I could never have given up on you. After all, I am the one who
got you into this mess."
"Don't say that," cried Jamie. "I'm glad it all happened. I know
I'm going to love this new life. I wouldn't go back to being Jim
again for all the money in the world."
"You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that, Jamie.
I thought you would like it but I have to admit that I was a little
worried there for a while."
Jamie put her arms around Samantha's neck and whispered in her ear,
"Thank you for finding the real me and releasing her from that
other dull life."
"Sounds like you may be planning to give Dr. Hoenig a call when we
"I'm thinking about it." Jamie would still make no firm commitment.
"Well, my lady, while you are thinking let's get dressed for
dinner. That is, if you can find anything fresh to wear.
Like most cruise lines, the cruise director on this line made a
conscious effort to arrange the dinner seating in such a way to
make the guest comfortable. Young couples were seated at the same
table, middle age and older couples were usually paired together.
Likewise, young single ladies usually found themselves seated near
young single men whenever possible. Samantha and Jamie were
assigned to a table that seated four and their dinner partners were
Rick Graham and Ben Parker, both electrical engineers from
Richmond, Virginia. They both worked for the same company in
Richmond and had decided to take their vacations together. Samantha
and Jamie found them to be pleasant company the first night out of
port so had made no request for other seating.
The two men were already seated when the girls arrived and they
stood and helped the ladies into their seats. Jamie could tell that
Ben had set his cap for Samantha and Samantha wasn't doing anything
to discourage him. That left her with Rick. She wondered if they
had possibly tossed a coin that day to see who paired off with who.
She felt a little sorry for Rick because she knew that Ben had a
much better chance of getting what he wanted from Samantha than
Rick had with her. She enjoyed the attention that Rick was giving
her, but it made her feel a little guilty because she had already
made up her mind that he was not going to get to first base with
The dinner was pleasant and all four got along well together. They
talked about their jobs, the ship and the islands that they would
be visiting on his trip. Ben remarked that if he had been lucky
enough to have teachers as pretty as Jamie and Samantha when he was
in school, he would probably still be in high school.
As the meal came to an end, Ben said, "There is a dance in the main
ballroom tonight. Would you lovely lades do us the honor of
Jamie tried to answer first with, "Oh no, we have ......."
"We'd be happy to," interrupted Samantha.
"But, we ......."
"No buts about it." Samantha cut Jamie off again. "We are in
stateroom 101. Just give us forty-five minutes to change and you
can pick us up."
"See you in forty-five minutes," said Ben as Samantha literally
pulled Jamie out of the dinning room.
"Who's changing clothes too much now?" Jamie sarcastically ask.
"You don't have a prettier dress than the one you're wearing or
does it take too long to get that one off?"
"That was a nasty remark. Are you mad because I'm forcing you to go
"You know that I'm in no condition to go out with men," Jamie
"I'd like to know why," Samantha argued. "You are one of the
prettiest girls on this ship."
"In case you have forgotten, I am probably the only girl on this
ship who has a penis too."
"I don't advise you to show him that."
"Be real, Samantha. He is not dating me because of my mind. What do
I do if he touches me there and discovers that I'm not what I seem.
It could make him very angry. He might be tempted to beat me up or
maybe just throw me overboard and I'm not sure I would blame him."
"He seems like too nice a guy to do something like that. I think
you are being a little paranoid." said Samantha.
"How can you say that? We only met the man yesterday. Some thought
Jack the Ripper was a nice guy."
"OK. I've got a solution to your problem. Come with me."
Samantha took Jamie by the hand and lead her toward the ship's
shopping area. They entered the small drug store where Samantha
purchased a box of sanitary napkins.
As they walked back towards their state room, Samantha said, "You
wear one of these and if he touches you, tell him that it is that
time of the month. Or even better, tell him that you just got out
of the hospital, which is true. Tell him that you had some female
work done, which is also true, and that you can't have sex for at
least a month, which is an undoubtable truth."
"That should work, but I just hate the idea of stringing the poor
"Now he is a poor darling. A little while ago you were referring to
him as Jack the Ripper."
"You know what I mean. What if he tries to kiss me?"
"Kiss him back if you want to."
"What if he doesn't want to stop there?"
"Look Jamie, you are the girl now. You call the shots. It will only
go as far as you want it to.
"Maybe that is what I'm concerned about. Self control. What if I
get something started that I can't finish?"
"There is more than one way to satisfy a man." Samantha said with
a sly smile.
"Oh yea, I could cook him a good meal."
They were both laughing when they entered their room.
Samantha chose a low cut red and white floor length gown that
showed too much of her bosom, Jamie thought. She was asking for
trouble, but maybe Samantha knew exactly what she was doing. Jamie
was not sure, but from some of the things that Samantha had said,
she thought Samantha had most likely slept with a man before.
Probably with the government man, Chuck, she dated after her
surgery. Samantha's love life was her own business and Jamie was in
no way passing judgment on her, but that was one part of being a
girl that scared her to death.
In contrast, Jamie selected a high neck, Chinese style dress that
hung loosely to the floor. He intention was to wear something that
would not be so revealing. What she didn't realize was that as she
moved, the thin silk would cling to her pretty little butt, hips
and breast in such a way that left little to the imagination. She
looked equally as sexy as Samantha and she didn't even suspect it.
With her sanitary napkin in place she felt a little more protected.
When they heard the genital knock on their door, Jamie took a deep
breath and said," I'm going through with this, but if he throws me
overboard, Samantha, it will be on your conscience."
"Silly girl. My only worry is that when he finds out he can't have
you, he may jump overboard."
The evening went well and in spite of her fears, Jamie found
herself having a good time. Rick was fun to be with and a wonderful
dancer. She was surprised to find that they had so much in common
and conversation was easy and enjoyable. Being held closely on the
dance floor by Rick was exciting.
Around twelve thirty, Samantha leaned over to Jamie and told her
that she and Ben were going for a walk on the upper deck.
"Will you be OK alone?" Samantha asked. "Are you still nervous?
"I'm fine. You two go ahead. We'll just stay for a few more
Well, they stayed until the band started putting their instruments
away. Jamie couldn't believe that it was already two o'clock. When
they stood to leave, Jamie also realized that she had probably had
a little too much to drink. She didn't feel drunk, but just a very
warm glow and she was happy to have Rick's arm around her as she
tried to maintain her balance walking up steps.
When they reached the door to Jamie's state room, Rick put his arms
around her and pulled her close. Jamie looked up into his eyes and
knew what was about to happen. She didn't care. In fact, she
realized that she wanted very badly to be kissed by this man. When
their lips met, Jamie offered no resistance. The kiss lasted a long
time and Jamie hoped it would never end. She felt Rick's tongue
part her lips and sink deeply into her mouth. One of his hands came
to rest on her breast and still she didn't have the strength to
stop. She felt her nipples grow erect and hard. Even the feel of
the growing bulge in Rick's pants pressed against her stomach only
added to the passion she felt. It wasn't until she felt his hand
slide down and between her legs that she was jolted back to
reality. She pushed him away and felt a sudden jolt of panic.
"Oh, do you have your period?" Rick asked, looking like someone who
just discovered that there was no Santa Clause.
"Ah, not exactly. I just got out of the hospital where I had a
female operation and I'll have to wear a pad for another month of
so." It really sounded like a lie to her and she wondered if Rick
bought her story.
"Does that mean no sex?" The poor man looked so disappointed.
"I'm afraid so," answered Jamie.
"Could I come in for awhile?" Rick asked. "There are other ways
that we can satisfy our needs. I really want you, Jamie. You are
the sweetest girl I've met in years."
"I'm sorry Rick. It is just not a good time."
"But Jamie, I ........"
Jamie cut him off by kissing him again. The kiss lasted several
minutes and Jamie could feel the bulge in his pants again. She
gently pushed him away.
"Rick, I had a wonderful time tonight. Please don't be too
disappointed with me."
"Well, maybe I can get over you with a cold shower," he smiled and
she knew that he was not too mad.
After another light kiss, Rick went on his way and Jamie entered
her room. She noticed that Samantha was not back yet but figured
that she and Ben were probably on deck enjoying the night air. She
quickly got out of her dress and put on her short red night gown
and was in her small bathroom just beginning to remove her make-up
when she heard a knock at her door. Assuming that Samantha had
forgotten her key, she didn't even bother to put on her robe before
opening the door. To her surprise it wasn't Samantha. It was Rick.
"Oh Rick, I thought you were Samantha." She could feel herself
blushing and she quickly reached for her robe and put it on.
"I don't think Samantha will be sleeping here tonight," said Rick.
"What do you mean? Has something happened to her?"
"No. She is fine, I'm sure. When I returned to my room, the "Do Not
Disturb' was on our door and my good friend, Ben, left me this
He handed the note to Jamie and she read:
I have a guest for the night. Could you please
find somewhere else to sleep. I'll do the
same for you someday.
"Obviously, Samantha is in my bed ---. Well maybe not in my bed,
but she is in my space." Rick said. "Thought you might allow me to
sleep in her bed tonight."
"Oh no, Rick. That just wouldn't work out at all." Jamie could feel
the panic returning.
"Even if I promise to stay on my side of the room? I am very
"I don't know. Couldn't you sleep on deck in a lounge chair?"
"It's raining. I'll catch pneumonia."
"Rick ... I just can't."
"I'll be good."
"Scout's honor." He held up two fingers in the Boy Scout sign.
"I guess it will be OK, but no sex and I mean that."
"No sex. I want even ask for a good night kiss," Rick said as he
came into the room.
Apparently Rick's word was good. They had turns using the bathroom
and afterwards Rick went straight to Samantha's bed and crawled in.
Jamie got into her bed and turned out the light but knew that she
wasn't going to sleep at all. She was just too nervous. Her
thoughts turned to the Rick and the feelings she had experienced
while he was kissing her. It had felt so natural and she had to
admit to herself that it had been nice. Had she really changed so
much that she now preferred men or had she always preferred men and
now this new body gave her the excuse she had always needed? Who
knows? All she knew was that kissing Rick had not felt like a
perversion. She was a woman in almost every way and there was no
reason why she couldn't be a woman with Rick.
"Jamie, are you awake?"
"Are you having trouble getting to sleep?"
"I thought you said that you were tired."
"I am, but I keep thinking of you."
Jamie didn't answer.
"Jamie, have you had a bad experience with a man?"
"No. Not really," she said. "I haven't had much experience with men
at all. Why do you ask?"
"I just thought that may be why you turned so cold on me."
"Look Ricky, I explained why I couldn't have sex with you."
"Oh, I understand that. It is just that I sort of get the feeling
that you are now scared of me, of something. I don't know exactly
what it is."
"Go to sleep, Ricky"
"I think maybe I could sleep if you would come over here and sleep
"We've already been over that."
"I didn't say have sex. I would just like to feel your body next to
mine. Then I could sleep.
Again Jamie didn't answer. She thought, 'Poor man. Do I owe him
that much? No, I don't owe him anything. But, it would be nice to
lie next to him for a little while.'
She knew that it would be difficult to maintain control if she got
in bed with him. She felt between her legs and the sanitary pad was
still in place. Surely he would not try and remove it. She slowly
pushed her covers back, got out of her bed and walked the three
feet to Rick's bed. She stood for several minutes just looking down
at him. He held his covers up, moved as far towards the wall as
possible and patted the space beside himself. Jamie took a deep
breath and slid under the covers beside Rick.
Immediately, they were locked in each others embrace and Rick
whispered into her ear, "thank you, thank you." Their lips met
again in the most passionate kiss Jamie had ever experienced. His
hands were all over her, but never once did he touch her between
her legs. He kissed her ears, her neck and worked his way down to
her breast. She felt him slide the straps to her gown over her
shoulders and she slid her arms free. One breast was in his hand
and the other was in his mouth. Her nipples became hard and waves
of pleasure surged through her body. Rick had turned in such a way
that her leg was between his and she could feel his male hardness
against her thigh. She began to move her leg up and down, massaging
his aching muscle.
Jamie became so absorbed in receiving pleasure that it only seemed
natural to return the gift. She reached down with her left hand and
began to massage Rich's penis with a slow, up and down motion. With
a sigh of pleasure, Rick rolled over onto his back and Jamie
continued to massage. All of her inhibitions seem to just dissolve
away. She slid his underwear down his legs and dropped them on the
floor. While continuing her massage she began kissing his chest and
worked her way down to his stomach. Still she felt no repulsion for
what she was doing. She kissed the head of his penis and Rick
arched his back in a gesture that said don't stop. She allowed the
head of Rick's penis to slide between her lips and she felt his
body tense as he arched again to meet her soft warm lips. She could
feel the heat and firmness of his muscle as it slid deeper into her
mouth and reached the back of her throat. She mover her head
slowly, up and down on his large shaft and increased her speed
gradually as his excitement intensified. She knew all too well what
was about to happen but still, she continued her motion with her
lips locked firmly around the base of his penis. She heard Rick
moan. Wave after wave of hot semen was released into her mouth and
down her throat. She continued to suck until every drop was drained
from his body and she felt him relax.
With Jamie's head nestled comfortable on Rick's chest they both
slept soundly and didn't even hear the door close the next morning
when Samantha returned.
"Well, what have we here?" Samantha remarked as she walked over to
the bed. Jamie's gown was still around her waist, her breast were
bear and she had one arm draped across Rich's naked chest. As she
looked at the two lovers with some degree of satisfaction, Jamie
opened her eyes.
"Good morning," Jamie said. She didn't even try to hide her nudity
and Samantha could see no sign embarrassment. "And where have you
been all night?"
Samantha ignored the question, leaned down close to Jamie's ear and
said, "I'm glad to see that he didn't throw you overboard."
That day the ship docked at St. Thomas and Samantha was eager to go
ashore, but she could not find Jamie. While waiting by the
gangplank she was joined by Ben and Rick.
"Have either of you seen Jamie?" She asked.
"I have," answered Rick. "She will be here in a few minutes. I left
her at the radio room. She said that she had to make a ship to
shore phone call and that is all she would tell me. I asked her
what was so important that she had to call right now and she just
said, 'You'll never know'. Must not be anything too serious because
she was all smiles and in a great spirits."
Samantha had a very good notion who Jamie was calling but she said
nothing to the men. When Jamie did appear, she was wearing the same
sunback dress that Samantha had first seen her wear at the clinic
on that day she finally gave in to Nancy and Dr. Hoenig. She was in
"What are you people waiting for?" Jamie said wearing a big smile.
"Let's go to shore, mates. The day is wasting."
Later that day, on the island, Samantha was able to finally get
Jamie alone. They were high up in the hills of St. Thomas looking
down on the bay. It was a beautiful scene.
Samantha leaned close to Jamie and asked, "You called Dr. Hoenig,
"Yes I did," answered Jamie. "One thing I learned from Rick last
night is that I no longer have any room in my life for anything
masculine. As soon as we return to Miami, I am going to fly to
North Carolina where Dr. Hoenig will be waiting to make me
complete. He said that I would be able to travel in less than a
week. I plan to fly out and visit my parents and make my peace with
"I'm so happy for you, Jamie." Samantha put her arms around her and
both girls had tears in their eyes. "Do you want me to go with
"No," Jamie said. "I've got to stop depending on you so much. I'm
going to fix this little problem myself. You go on to our new condo
and I'll meet you there at least a week before school starts. That
will give us some time to shop for new school clothes."
Things went well in North Carolina and Jamie had no regrets for the
loss of her last fragment of masculinity. Her visit with her
parents was a bit tense at first. Her mother seemed to accept the
fact that she now had a new daughter fairly easily but Jamie could
tell that her father was somewhat disappointed by the loss of his
son. Finally, toward the end of the week, he came around. The day
she was packing to leave for Florida, her father came into her room
and called her Jamie for the first time.
"Jamie, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.
"Sure Dad. Anytime."
"I, ugh. I just wanted to say that I know that I have not made this
visit easy on you .... and, well I'm sorry."
"Oh, Dad, I'm the one who should apologize. I'm the one who brought
this change into your life."
"No, you did what you had to do and I have been acting like a
spoiled brat. I just wanted to tell you before you left that are a
beautiful daughter, I'm proud of you and I love you. If you ever
need me I'll be here for you."
Jamie knew how hard it was for her father to show emotion and she
just couldn't keep back the tears. She was so happy to have
retained the love of those that she cherished so much. As she waved
goodbye to them at the airport, she knew that she was happier than
she had ever been before in his or her life.