Archive-name: Changes/bobbi.txt
Archive-author: Anonymous
Archive-title: Bobbi - New Girl in Town

* parts 1 thru 14 plus epilogue *

(Note: the original author of these stories prefers to remain anonymous)


Margo sat next to me in the coffee shop late that Saturday afternoon.
His real name was Mark, but he was one of the loveliest Drag Queens in
New York City.  I had been dressing secretly at home in my mother's and
sister's clothes for just over three years, but at 18 years old, I had
never been in public as a woman.  Margo lived now as a female, and
could pass anywhere.  I complimented "her" on it, and "she" said.  "You
could do just as well, you know." I was flattered, but not as sure as
she was.  "Come on," she said.  "I'll show you!" We went to her apar-
tment.  We had been occasional lovers, so I had been there before, but
this visit would be different.

As soon as we were inside, Margo ordered me to strip completely, and
she put my male clothing neatly away.  She looked me over carefully,
then stripped off all he own clothing, and led me into the bathroom.

In a moment we were in the shower soaping each other down.  I loved the
softness of Margo's skin, and the feel of her hands on mine.  The sight
and feel of her little penis, for Margo had only four inches even when
she was hard, was also somehow erotic, and I was getting visibly arou-
sed!

We were rinsing off when she said.  "Stand there, and don't move!" She
stepped out of the tub, and returned instantly bearing a razor and sh-
aving cream.  In seconds the lower half of my body was swathed in shav-
ing cream, and Margo was shaving my legs.  She also trimmed my pubic
hair to a little, feminine, V-shaped thatch.

With all the gentle caressing and stroking that was going on, my cock
was now rock hard!  Margo looked up at me from her kneeling position,
and smiled at me.  Then I felt her lips close around my cock, and a
gentle back and forth motion of her head begin.  I leaned back against
the tile wall, and soon was gushing my load of cum down her throat.
Margo swallowed every drop.  She was an expert cocksucker!

"The transformation is about to begin!," announced Margo as we stepped
from the tub.  As soon as we had dried ourselves, she produced a bottle
of cologne and some matching perfumed talc, and applied them liberally
to both of us.  The sent was exotic, and I began to feel very feminine
in the way that I had always wanted to feel.  We entered the bedroom,
and Margo reached into a drawer.  She took out a matching bra, garter-
belt, and panties set for me.  They were white lace with dainty pink
bows.  "Virgins always wear white," she said.  She also had a similar
set in aqua for herself.

We dressed together, and she showed me how to put the panties on over
the garter-belt so that they could be removed, and still leave the
stockings on.  Margo also taught me how to tuck my penis back between
my legs into my crotch, so that no telltale bulges would show even if
someone were to see me in just my panties.

Last to go on was my bra.  It was padded, and I had sort of smallish
male breasts, but we tucked a couple of old stockings into each cup to
fill it out a little better.  I wanted bigger breasts, but Margo would
not allow it.  "All the new girls think that they need big tits!," she
admonished.  "A 'real girl' is not that big!  If you want to look nat-
ural, do it subtly.  Don't make yourself look like a clown!"  She was,
of course, correct.  I followed her advice, and I am a better woman for
it.  To complete the effect, Margo gave me a light-brown wig that near-
ly matched my own hair, and fussed it into place on my head.

I was not prepared for what I saw when I looked in the full-length mir-
ror.  There staring back at me was the girl I had always known I was!
I shuddered, and Margo lightly touched my arm.  "See, Bobbi," she half
whispered to me.  "I knew you could do it!  That is the real you!" She
kissed me gently on the cheek.  I had to agree with her.  That was in-
deed the real me.  It was also the first time anyone had called me
"Bobbi."  I have kept the name ever since.

Margo's transformation of me was good, but it was far from finished.  I
stood there in just bra, panties, garter-belt, sheer stockings, and wig
admiring myself in her full-length mirror.  I liked what I saw very
much, but I also wanted more!  Margo was quick to oblige.  She handed
me a white lace full-slip with little pink bows at the straps and at
the hem that just matched the other things I was wearing.  Then she led
me to the make-up table, and we sat down on the bench.

Margo picked the shades, and applied the make-up.  Soon my nails were a
pink to match the bows on the lingerie, and she was working the foun-
dation over my face.  "You have a tiny problem that most 'real girls'
don't have," she said.  "You have to go a little heavier on the foun-
dation to cover that little beard of yours." The face powder, blush,
and eye shadow were next, followed by the mascara, and finally pink
lipstick to match my nails.  "Put these in your purse," Margo said han-
ding me the lipstick, powder, and eye make-up she had used on me.
"You'll need them for touch-up's later."  She did her own make-up then
using blue shades on her eyes to set off the aqua lingerie she wore.  I
watched in fascination as I waited for my nails to finish drying.

With the make-up applied, Margo went back to her closet.  She soon pro-
duced a pink leather purse, and pink pumps with four inch heels, and
handed them to me.  I slipped the shoes on, and she said.  "Put your
make-up in the purse, and then your wallet and cigarettes from your
pants.  You'll need them when we go out."  I swallowed hard, and began
to shake!  I had not expected that all of this would go beyond Margo's
apartment!  I had been in Drag at home in my mother's and sister's clo-
thes in PRIVATE before, but Margo had been the only person to have seen
me as a woman up to today, and she had only been privileged to that
during the last hour!  I was scared!!  What if somebody saw that I was
really male?  What would or COULD happen?

Margo saw my fear, and smiled gently at me.  "Relax, Bobbi," she said.
"We girls are only going for a little walk, so you can see what being a
woman feels like outside.  You look lovely!  You will be fine.  Nothing
bad will happen."  I thought for a moment.  I did want to do it.  I was
just scared of the unknown.  I glanced at the clock.  It was almost
9:00PM, and it was dark out.  Nobody would be able to see me very well,
and I would be with Margo who lived as a woman.  We would just look
like two more women walking in New York City's theater district and
Times Square.  I told myself it would be all right, but I was still
frightened and excited over going out in Drag.

>From the closet, Margo brought forth a white cocktail dress.  It was
knee length with three quarter sleeves, and the white satin under-dress
was covered in white lace.  I slipped it over my head while she put on
a blue-green jersey sheath that made her look positively slinky.  Margo
did up the zipper at the back of my dress, sprayed me with perfume, and
announced.  "There!  Now you are the sort of girl that men's dreams are
made of!  Take a look!" I stepped up to the full-length mirror again.
I gasped at what I saw!!  There in the mirror looking back at me was
one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen!  She looked like some-
thing out of a movie!  It took me more than a moment to get used to the
fact that she was ME!!  I almost cried for joy!!

Margo reached into her jewelry box, and gave me a pink cameo locket on
a thin gold chain along with three gold rings one of which had a pink
stone in a marquise setting.  I put these on, and she gave me a pair of
gold earrings with pink baubles that hung down, and matched the cameo
around my neck.  A white lace shawl completed the outfit, and we were
ready to leave for our walk.  Margo opened the door of the apartment,
we stepped out into the hall, and rode the elevator down.  I was out in
Drag for the first time!

On the street, the Manhattan traffic was noisy as ever, and somehow
that was very comforting to me.  I was terrified, and I needed some-
thing to remind me that this was really happening.  As we walked I not-
iced that all eyes seemed to be on me!  Had they found me out?  I asked
Margo what was going on, and she responded.  "Don't worry!  All men,
whether they know it or not, look at all women all of the time.  It is
just biological.  You are a pretty girl, so all the women will look
too, and compare you with what they think they look like.  All those
looks are a compliment!  Just relax, and enjoy it!" It took a while yet
after she said that to me, but after we had been out for half and hour
I was starting to calm down.

Margo stopped in front of a bar called "The Gilded Grape".  I knew the
place.  It was the only real transvestite bar in New York City.  "Let's
have a cocktail!," she announced, and maneuvered me to the door.  I
hesitated.  I wasn't sure that I wanted to do this!  A walk on the
street was one thing, but talking to people up close in a bar was quite
another!  "Stop worrying!," admonished Margo.  "All the girls here are
guys.  Why not go in?"  She was right.  That bar was probably even
safer than the street.  Why not indeed?  Margo opened the door, and we
went in.

The scene inside was familiar.  I had not been inside "The Gilded Gra-
pe" too often, but I knew it well enough.  There were two bars.  One
near the front door where Edie, who looked more like a Beauty Queen
than a Drag Queen, was barmaid, and a bar at the back where Emma held
court.  Emma was a biological woman of some forty years who looked and
acted like the puppet "Madam" from the comedy act of "Whalen and Mad-
am."  Indeed, Whalen had been a regular at another Gay Bar where Emma
had once worked, and had based the character of his puppet on her!  It
was to this rear bar that Margo led me.

All eyes seemed to be on me as I walked through the room.  I had some-
times sat at one of those tables myself, and looked over the "girls" as
they walked by.  Now it was my turn to be ogled by the men!  I was the
"New Girl In Town" for the guys to lust over!  I could FEEL all their
eyes on me, and it felt GOOD!!  I could feel my penis stiffen down bet-
ween my legs even though it was tucked back into my crotch!  I felt
like the woman that I wanted to be at last!  I was a sex object, and I
liked it!!

Margo and I sat at the bar, and ordered a drink.  I was introduced to
Emma, and received the first in a long string of compliments that I was
to receive that night.  I was starting to get used to being a girl.
Just then a guy sat down on the stool next to me.  Our eyes met, and I
could see that he liked what he saw.  "Hello," he said.  "You're new
here?"  I replied that I was.  He smiled, and asked if I would like to
dance.  I hesitated for a moment, but an elbow in my ribs from Margo
helped me make up my mind!  We got up to go to the dance floor, and he
asked my name.  "Bobbi," I replied.  "Bobbi, eh?," he said.  "It suits
you.  A pretty name for a beautiful girl!  My name is Peter."  He was
the first person to call me beautiful.

On the dance floor, Peter slipped his arms around me.  The D.J.  was
playing a slow number, and Peter held me very close as we glided across
the floor.  It felt good to be in his arms, in a man's arms!  It was
not the first time that a man had held me.  It was not the first time
that I had danced with another man.  Somehow, however, this was dif-
ferent.  There was something about the way that he held me while we
danced.  Maybe it was the way that he looked at me.  Maybe it was the
way that his hand on my back moved slowly and gently trying to get just
the slightest touch of the more intimate parts of my body.  I only knew
that it felt very good, and I did not want it to stop!

I pressed closer to him, and felt his hard cock pressing against my
thigh.  My insides began to tingle!  Not only had I become the woman
that I knew I was that night, but I could bring a man to erection as
that woman!

The music stopped, and Peter kissed me gently on the cheek.  I was sur-
prised, but I did not pull away.  His lips moved to mine, and we kissed
for a moment.  Then he said.  "I hate to say this for both of us, but I
have to leave now.  Here is my business card.  Will you call me this
week?  I would like to have dinner with you." I promised that I would,
and he kissed me again.  This time our lips parted, and we kissed for a
very long time.  I promised again that I would call him, and he depar-
ted.

I walked back to the bar.  I was feeling a little depressed that Peter
had to leave, but I thought about the next time I would see him, and my
penis tingled!  That would be quite a date!

Margo was still at the bar, but she was not alone.  She was talking to
the man sitting next to her.  He was tall, and not really good looking
although pleasant enough.  She was sitting  very close to him, and she
pointed me out to him as I approached.  As I sat on the other stool
next to her he whispered something to her, and nodded.  "Bobby, this is
Frank," Margo said.  I shook hands with him in greeting, and Margo
asked me to accompany her to the "Ladies Room." It was the beginning of
another adventure in this eventful night!

Margo and I entered the "Ladies Room."  It was the first time that I
had ever been in one.  It was different from the "Men's Rooms" that I
had been in.  There were no urinals, and one wall had a long mirror on
it with a wide shelf.  A number of other Drag Queens were at the mirror
adjusting their make-up.  "Take care of your needs, and meet me at the
mirror," Margo ordered.  I did so, taking the time to adjust the tuck
of my penis back into my crotch between my legs.  Margo was waiting at
the mirror when I got there.

We took a moment to fix our make-up, and then Margo spoke.  "What do
you think of Frank?," she said.  I told her that he seemed nice enough
not really knowing what she was driving at.  Then she got very serious.
"Frank is a sort of friend of mine," she said.  "We see each other
every couple of weeks.  He's 'straight', but he likes something differ-
ent from his tacky wife sometimes.  Tonight he wants to party with two
'girls', and he likes you.  He's very generous, so there's fifty dol-
lars in it for you.  What do you think?"

This was not what I had expected tonight!  I knew that Margo turned
tricks for cash, but I had not considered doing it myself before.  The
idea of being a prostitute was exciting to me though, and after a mo-
ment of thought I said, "All right!  I'll do it!  What do we do now?"
Margo smiled.  "Just follow my lead, and be friendly," she said, and
led the way back to the bar.

We sat for a few minutes at the bar with Frank while he and Margo spo-
ke, and then we all rose to leave.  On the street, Margo and I each
took one of Frank's arms, and we walked to her apartment.  In the ele-
vator, Frank took the liberty of feeling my ass.  I only smiled at the
intimate touch.  He would get quite a bit more than a quick feel before
that night was over!

Margo fumbled in her purse for keys while we stood at the door to her
apartment.  Frank lost no time in getting his money's worth of me!  He
roughly pulled me to him, and kissed me probing the inside of my mouth
with his darting tongue.  His arms were around me, and while his left
arm pinned me to him like a vice, I felt his right hand resume its exp-
lorations of my bottom.  With great care and skill he managed to hike
my skirt high enough to slip that right hand of his under the hem, and
gain free access to the naked flesh of the back of my left thigh above
my stocking top.  He also treated his hand to still another roam across
my tush, now with only my filmy white panties separating that hand from
my soft, warm flesh, and probed a finger or two up under the elastic of
the leg hole for an added thrill.  All the while his kissing had not
missed a beat!

"Hey!  Break it up, you two!!"  Margo's voice snapped us back to real-
ity.  She was standing inside the apartment door, and beckoning us to
come in.  "You may find each other irresistible, but I do have neigh-
bors, and besides I feel left out!," she complained to Frank and I as
we entered the apartment.  I murmured a quiet apology, but Frank said
nothing.  His response was to grab Margo in his arms, and give her the
same treatment he had given me a couple of minutes earlier.  She wri-
thed gently against him like the practiced temptress she was, and I
noticed her hand lightly stroking his cock through his trousers.  The
seemed suddenly oblivious to the fact that I was in the room.  I closed
and locked the apartment door, and sat demurely on the sofa like a good
girl to wait for them.

"Well, at least we know we all like each other!," was Margo's comment
when they joined me a couple of minutes later.  Frank plopped down on
the couch next to me, and Margo continued.  "I told you that you would
like Bobbi, Frank.  I am rarely wrong about such things.  This should
be a fun evening!"  She paused for a moment, and then said, "Frank?
Can we get the, Uh... 'financial arrangements' out of the way first?"
Frank sighed, and produced his wallet.  He took out some bills, and
passed them to Margo.  She counted out fifty dollars for each of us,
and handed me my share saying, "Put this in your purse, Bobbi."  I did,
and then joined Margo who was standing before Frank.  "Well," she said.
"Now we can have some fun!"

Frank sat on the sofa, and watched the events of the next few minutes
unfold before him.  Margo stood behind me, and unzipped my dress.  I
stepped out of it in a very ladylike way, and she tossed it over a
chair leaving me with just my slip to cover the rest of my lingerie.
Then she turned her back, and I removed her dress in the same way.  We
faced each other, and kissed a long, probing kiss while we both slid
the straps of each other's slips off our shoulders, and let then fall
in delicate heaps about our ankles.

We stepped out of the piles of silk, and stood before Frank in just
bra, panties, garter-belt, stockings, and shoes.  I all in white lace
with dainty pink bows, and Margo in aqua silk with dark blue bows.  His
eyes lit up like searchlights!  If he had liked what he saw of us in
the bar, he was now positively bursting with excitement over the vision
that he beheld!  The bulge in his trousers was begging to be set free
of its confinement, and I was getting curious of what it looked like.
Margo nudged me toward the couch, and Frank took my arm to gently tug
me into sitting on his lap.  Margo disappeared into the bedroom.

I could feel the hardness of Frank's cock pressing into my soft behind
as I sat on his lap.  I wondered if he knew just how deeply into my ass
I wished it was REALLY pressing at that moment!  My own penis, in its
tuck back in my crotch between my legs, was now quite stiff too.  I
could feel a longing behind it deep inside of me.  As if the ghost of
the vagina that should have been there was yearning to feel the length
of this man's cock plunging in and out of it!  I was more than aroused
by all had happened, all that was happening, and all that was GOING TO
happen it me that night!  I let all control of myself go, and jumped
headlong into the spirit of the evening!!

Frank was kissing me again, probing all the while at the inside of my
mouth with that delicious tongue of his.  This time, however, his hands
had free access to roam unchecked over all of me, and roam they did!
He may not have been a great lover, but dressed as I was, the sexual
and sensual excitement that I was feeling was all but overpowering.  I
squirmed playfully on his lap, and felt his now granite hard cock dig-
ging even more urgently into the soft flesh of my bottom.

I was doing what I had always wanted to do!  I was sexually arousing a
man as a woman!  I had become what I had always wanted to be!  I was a
woman in every way that it was possible for me to be a woman at that
moment!  I was living the most incredible night of my entire life!  I
wanted to savor every instant of it!!

Margo appeared at the bedroom door, and called out to us.  "I've turned
down the bed, and I'm getting lonely in here!  Would you two care to
join me in the boudoir?"  Neither Frank nor I needed any encouragement
to get us to head for "...the boudoir."  If the poking and prodding
that my little tushy was getting by his cock every time I moved in his
lap was any indication, he needed a small trip to "...the boudoir," or
he was going to make a large mess in his trousers, and probably stain
Margo's sofa in the process!  It was also obvious that getting me into
bed was the primary thought in his mind at that moment, and I echoed it
in my own mind as well.  I wanted him to get me into bed too!!

Frank's right hand never left some part of my body as we walked to the
bed.  At the doorway his left hand picked up Margo, and was giving her
the same treatment.  "Stand still!," Margo ordered him as we approached
the bed.  "You are a little overdressed for the occasion, but we'll so-
on fix that!"  I unbuttoned Frank's shirt, and Margo un-buckled his
belt.  I pulled the shirt off to reveal his massive, hairy chest.
Frank might not have had a very handsome face, but his body was hard,
tanned, and muscular!  I treated myself to a taste of his tiny male
nipples as the shirt fell away, and felt him stiffen and gasp with ex-
citement.  I looked down, and saw that Margo had disposed of his trou-
sers and shoes, and was gently nibbling at his muscular thighs while I
was flicking at his nipples with my tongue.  Frank was immersed in sex-
ual passion, but we were having as much fun as he!

Then Margo kneeled in front of him, slipped her fingers into the waist-
band of his briefs, and pulled them to his ankles.  A huge cock jumped
forth, and slapped against her cheek!  It was fully seven inches long,
and two inches thick!  A deep tangle of coarse black hair surrounded
the base from which it rose to end in a knob that looked as big as a
Ping-pong ball!  A heavy sack with large balls hung below, and Margo
immediately began to taste those balls making Frank give out a low
moan.  I gasped, and stared at the huge cock that only minutes ago had
been prodding my ass through Frank's trousers.  More than ever now, I
wanted it in me!!

Margo stood up from kneeling, and surveyed Frank's naked body.  From
the look in her eyes, I could tell that she liked what she saw.  Look-
ing at him, my own penis throbbed and twitched although it was still
confined by my panties, and tucked back between my legs into my crotch.
I was sure that Margo's penis was doing the same things, and I also
longed to touch it along with Frank's out of curiosity.  "I said you
would like this, Bobbi," Margo whispered in my ear as Frank lay down on
the bed.

Frank lay on his back with his hard cock jutting straight up while Mar-
go and I kneeled on either side of him.  His arms pulled us toward him,
and he kissed us each in turn.  We then began trickling kisses and ton-
gue play down each side of his neck, and across his body.  We each
stopped at the small nipples of his firm pectorals to suck and nibble
gently.  Frank moaned quietly at the attention the sensitive parts of
his body were getting.  His hands were roaming all over us.  He even
managed to slip a finger of his left hand under the elastic legband of
my panties to just caress the head of my penis for a moment.  I shud-
dered with ecstasy!  I did like what was happening just as Margo said I
would!

Margo and I moved further down Frank's body nearing the goal of our
quest.  We reached his cock at exactly the same moment, and started
kissing either side of it starting at the base, and working up.  At the
tip, our lips finally met, and we kissed each other with the head of
Frank's circumcised cock pressed tightly between us.  Frank let out an
audible groan of pleasure as our mouths parted, and we flicked at the
glans with our tongues.  He liked what was happening too!

I licked my way back to the base of Frank's cock while Margo continued
teasing its head with the tip of her tongue.  I found my way to his
balls, and licked at them hungrily.  The were warm and hairy, and they
tasted just the way a man's balls should taste to his woman.  I felt
that I could have nuzzled them for hours.  I nibbled at the sack, tak-
ing the loose flesh into my mouth, and gently rolling it against the
back of my lower teeth with my tongue as I sucked on it.  I took one of
the balls completely into my mouth, and slid my tongue around and arou-
nd it to Frank's obvious delight.

Margo descended to the base of Frank's cock, and I moved up to the tip.
I took the large head between my lips, and knew instantly that he was
close to orgasm.  I ran my tongue around the tip of his cock the way I
had just been doing with his balls, and I could taste the little tric-
kle of pre-cum that seeped from the slit.  I worked his cock in and out
of my mouth slowly at first, but gaining speed faster and faster as I
worked!  I increased the pressure with my lips bringing him ever closer
to climax!

Frank's cock then all but literally exploded in my mouth!  His first
stream of semen shot all the way to the back of my throat, and splashed
against my tonsils before spilling down deep inside of me!  He contin-
ued to pump his cum into my mouth until I thought it would overflow!  I
held it all in, and lolled it on my tongue tasting the delicious salty-
ness of it before greedily swallowing it all to keep for my very own!

I lay back on the bed along Frank's left side after he had finished
cumming in my mouth, and Margo lay along his right.  He had his arms
around us.  We all played with each other while we waited for his balls
to recharge with semen.  The night was far from over!

Frank did not take long to rest.  His hands were roaming all over Margo
and I as he lay there, and I was more than aroused already from all
that had gone before.  My penis, although still safely tucked away in
my panties, was throbbing with excitement!  I had my own load of semen
straining for release, and I was sure that Margo was in the same con-
dition!  I wrapped my left hand around Frank's cock.  It was stiffening
again, and I could hardly wait!  Biologically Margo and I might be
male, but in Drag at that moment, I was his woman, and I wanted him
inside of me!!

I continued playing with Frank's cock as it grew to full hardness while
Margo sucked gently on his right nipple.  His left hand suddenly slip-
ped into my crotch, and fingered my penis through the thin film of
nylon that was my tiny white panties.  I shivered with the ecstasy and
anticipation of what was about to happen!  I turned my head to face
him, and out lips met.  His tongue pressed its way back into my mouth.
It tasted sweet.  I teased it with my own tongue, and he responded by
rolling to face me, and enfolding me in his arms.

We kissed long and passionately with him fondling my penis through my
panties, and I stroking his naked cock all the while.  Margo was all
over both of us.  Caressing my behind, fingering his ass, touching my
breasts, kissing his strong back, and doing all she could to raise our
already torrid level of excitement.  My mind was racing wildly!  I
could think of nothing else but having Frank fuck me in every possible
way!

I did not have long to wait!  Frank suddenly kneeled up on the bed, and
slid me onto my back before him.  His hands went to the elastic of my
panties, gripped them with his fingers, and stripped them from my quiv-
ering body!!  He took hold of my calves to spread my legs, so that he
could kneel between them.  As my legs parted, my penis popped free of
its tuck in my crotch, and stood straight up begging for further re-
lease!

I stared along my body at Frank's cock hovering over my tummy with its
head scant inches from the head of my own penis.  He was naked, and I
now wore only bra, garter-belt, and stockings.  I glanced at my penis,
and thought of how grotesque it looked.  It should not be there!  In
its place I should have the vagina of the woman I really was!  More
than ever now, I wanted to be that woman for him, and for myself!!

Margo lost no time in preparing the stage for the next act of our play.
She slipped a pillow under my hips to raise my ass so that it would be
easier for Frank to enter me, and spread some K-Y Jelly over the head
of his cock.  It was not a moment too soon!  Frank moved forward, and
positioned his cock at my waiting asshole.  I gasped deeply when its
head popped past my sphincter!  I moaned as he thrust the seven inches
of its shaft up inside of me!  He waited only for a moment while I
caught my breath, and began a slow, rhythmic, in and out motion, fuck-
ing me to further heights of passion!  My mind reeled with it all!  At
last I was being laid like a lady!  I did not want it to stop!!

Soon I felt something else warm at my asshole.  At first I had no idea
of what it could be!  Then I realized that it was Margo!  She was down
between our legs licking my ass, and Frank's cock and balls as he
fucked me!  The feeling was incredible!  I was being fucked and eaten
at the same time!

Frank's cock soon started to grow warm and twitch inside of me, and I
knew that he was close to cumming.  My penis too was responding to
being rubbed between our bellies as he pumped me.  Suddenly Frank
thrust his cock's full length into me!  I felt it spasm, and then a
warmth grew deep within my bowels!  He was cumming as hard and hot as
he had done in my mouth, and I eagerly received his full load of semen!
I had fulfilled the woman in me!  My man had fucked me, and I enjoyed
every second of his cumming!!

Frank's cock slipped from my ass as he fell back exhausted on the bed
next to me.  I felt a wetness on my tummy as he moved away.  I looked
down to see my penis shrinking after its final release.  I too has cum
from the touching of our bodies together!  I slid the pillow from be-
neath me, and lay quietly next to him.

I had sampled all that I had ever wanted from the female side of my
sexuality that night.  I knew that it would happen again, but I wanted
to savor this first time.  I had lost my virginity as a woman, but
there was still one more thing to come tonight!

Margo appeared at the bedside with two washcloths.  She gently cleaned
off the remains of our passion as Frank and I lay together.  Soon Frank
was able to stand, and reluctantly he got dressed.  I could see that he
did not want to leave, but he had gotten all that he had paid for, and
he had to go home.  I too did not really want to see him go.

I stood, and tucked my penis back up into my crotch between my legs
while his back was turned.  I glanced at myself in the full-length mir-
ror.  Standing there in my bra, garter-belt, and stockings, the thatch
of hair at my crotch even looked like a woman's pussy!  This is what I
had wanted to be, and that night I had made it!

I kissed Frank one more time in good-by.  He smiled, and said, "You're
quite a woman, you know!"  Something tingled deep inside of me.  I
could have been paid no higher compliment at that moment.  A ladylike
tear of joy welled up in my eyes.  I knew now what I was, and what I
had to be.  There was still a long road ahead, but I had taken the
first step.  I watched in silence as Margo escorted him to the door,
and let him out.

"Bobbi," Margo said as she returned to the bedroom.  "Please stay over
tonight.  It's really too late for you to go home anyway."  She did not
wait for me to answer, but reached into a drawer, and produced a lacy
yellow nightie for me.  I slipped out of my bra, garter-belt, and stoc-
kings, and put it on.  When I looked up, she too was wearing a short,
pale-blue nightie.

We lay down on the bed together, but as she relaxed her own small penis
popped free of her crotch, and jutted rigidly out from her body.  I
then realized that while Frank and I had both cum twice in the course
of the evening, Margo had not had any release!  "Just lay back, Margo,"
I whispered softly to her.  "It's your turn now."

I kneeled over her, and took her penis into my mouth.  Margo moaned
prettily as I worked on her.  This was not an act of hot passion as had
gone before.  There was about it all the gentleness of two women making
love, and that was at it should be, for that was what was happening!

I sucked Margo's penis, and stroked her balls for only a few minutes
when I felt her cum gently in my mouth.  The taste was not as rough and
salty as Frank's semen, but sweet as I knew it would be.  She pulled me
to her, and we kissed sharing her cum in both of our mouths.  As the
kiss broke we swallowed the semen together.  It was the most gentle
lovemaking I have ever experienced.

I pulled the covers over us.  We kissed again, and then drifted off to
sleep in each other's arms.  We had shared an incredible experience
that night, and would share many more in the future!


EPILOG:

I did not go home that night, nor for many nights after that.  I moved
in the very next day to live with her.  We lived together as two women
for a couple of years after that.  We had many other experiences with
men both together and individually since then, but none have ever sur-
passed that of my first night in Drag!


Sub-title: Babydoll Grows Up

The first week of sharing Margo's apartment with her was all I had
hoped it would be.  We had been lovers before, and would make love to
each other many times again, but we did not live together as lovers.
The apartment had a second bedroom which Margo had been using to store
odds and ends.  We cleaned that out to become my bedroom.  We both
shared Margo's bed for the first few days, but by Thursday night my
somehow appropriately queen-sized bed arrived, and we each had our own
room.

We came to an agreement right away on the, for lack of a better phrase,
"sexual arrangements" for our place.  On average, men tend to have
their casual affairs outside of their living space while women tend to
bring their sex home with them.  If we held to that statistic, we would
each need a place to be bedded by our lovers.  We decided that whatever
we did in the privacy of our own rooms with whomever we chose to do it,
was our own business.  The living room would be for mutual use for en-
tertaining with our clothes on unless we were both entertaining the
same lover, or the other one had previously announced her intentions of
being out all night.  The kitchen was our place, and off-limits to
lovers.  These arrangements worked well, and we held to them all the
while we lived together.

The only problem I had was the need to keep my male job, so that I
could pay my half of the rent.  How I loathed getting up each morning,
and putting on that stifling male clothing, and heavy shoes to trudge
to work.  The job was not difficult.  I was the stockboy in the Chil-
dren's Shoes Department of a famous 5th Avenue department store.  The
problem was that I had to do it as a male, and I no longer wanted to be
male in any way!  I had to find a way to change that, or at least the
job.  I did not yet know how to do it, but I knew I would somehow find
a way.

As soon as I got home from work each night, I would shower, and change
into some frilly lingerie borrowed from Margo.  She was generous to a
fault with me, but I could not continue to borrow things all the time.
She had made me a present of the white outfit that I had worn on my
first night in Drag, but a girl needs more than one outfit.  There was
but one answer.  We had to do what every woman enjoys doing more than
anything else.  We had to go shopping!

Saturday morning was bright and breezy in New York City.  It had been
one week since my first night in Drag, and it was time to take the next
step.  Margo layed out the outfit I would wear after breakfast.  There
was a yellow based floral print skirt with a hemline that fell just
above my knee, and a matching loose fitting jacket.  To go with that
was a light pastel green silk blouse, and green shoes and bag that were
almost the same color as the blouse.  Margo also let me wear the aqua
lingerie set that she had worn last Saturday.  I tucked my penis back
into my crotch, and slipped on the panties.  "Always dress to the nines
when you go out shopping," Margo told me as we put our clothes on.
"You get a lot better service from the tacky shopgirls when you look
better than they do!"  She was right.

I was shifting things from the pink purse to the one Margo had just
given me when I came upon something I had almost forgotten in the
rigors of moving that week.  It was Peter's business card.  Peter and I
had danced at "The Gilded Grape" last Saturday night, and I promised to
call him.  I tucked the card into the frame of the mirror over my dres-
ser.  I did not want to forget to call on Monday when he would be back
at his desk.  I wanted very much to see him again.

We were ready to go out by 10:00AM, and the elevator whisked us to the
street.  Another womanly adventure lay ahead!

We hailed a taxi, and I got in first to slide across the back seat, so
Margo could get in.  I glanced at the driver, and caught him trying to
sneak a peek up my skirt in the rear-view mirror as I passed along the
seat.  I was in a good mood, so I let my legs spread, and my skirt to
hike up just enough to give him a flash of my thigh above my stocking
top.  He took it all in.  I wonder what he would have thought if he had
known that a little higher above that stocking top, my penis was neatly
tucked away protected by my panties.  He just got a very pleased look
on his face, and said, "Where to, ladies?!"

The cab weaved its way through the usual crush of midtown New York City
traffic, and soon deposited us in front of "Macy's" at Herald Square.
I treated the driver to another peek up my skirt as I slid out.  He
grinned appreciatively.  I liked being a tease!

Margo led the way into the store.  Macy's was its usual hubbub of act-
ivity, but soon we had shopping bags full of bras, garter-belts, blou-
ses, skirts, stockings, dresses, jeans, shoes, make-up, and jewelry.
We spent about $300.00 in all.  "Just get your dressy things here,"
Margo advised.  "We can get the everyday stuff cheaper else-where." We
walked out of the store loaded, and walked up 34th Street to get some
of that "everyday stuff" to add to our load.

Our last stop was a wig shop on 5th Avenue near 35th Street.  Margo se-
emed to know the owner, and introduced me to him.  "Bobbi, this is
Ira," she said.  "Be very nice to him.  All the girls like us get wigs
here."  Ira was about 55 years old, smelled of old cigars, and was rude
enough to give my bottom a good feel while I looked at the wigs.  Margo
gave me a signal that I should not protest the intimate touch, and Ira
continued feeling me up all the while we were in the shop.  I tried to
pretend not to notice, but it really bothered me quite a bit!

When Ira rang up the sale for the two wigs I bought, I saw why Margo
had motioned to me that I should not complain.  Ira had marked the bill
"Shopworn", and taken 60% off the price!  "He gets his jollies feeling
up any Drag Queen that comes in," Margo said when we were back out on
the street.  "He's a pig, but it saves you some money." I was learning
a whole new set of ethics on my way to becoming a woman.

The taxi deposited us back at our apartment, and we took my purchases
inside.  It was all we could do to carry it all.  I had spent almost
$500.00, but now I had a woman's wardrobe.  I could live now as a woman
full time if I wished.  All that remained was to be able to have a job,
and support myself as a woman.

That was what I wanted then above all else in the universe.  I had nev-
er felt comfortable as a male.  It took me a long time to figure out
what was wrong, but now I knew.  My childhood had started out normally
enough, but I was never really interested in the things that the other
boys in the neighborhood were.

                              = = * = =

I found sports boring.  My father could never understand this, and sh-
owed his displeasure by all but ignoring me as I was growing up.  When
I was about 14 years old, I even tried to cultivate an interest in some
of the things he liked in an attempt to get closer to him, but he put
down my lack of knowledge of those things, and managed to strain our
already tenuous relationship even further.  I was just not what he wan-
ted in a son.

If I did not get on well with the boys in the neighborhood, I did enjoy
playing house with my sister and her girlfriends.  The girls liked it
because that way they had someone to play the "daddy", but I loathed
that role.  It did not suit me at all, but at least I was in the game
that way.  I did not know what was wrong with me.  I only knew that I
was different somehow, and that I did not seem to fit in completely
with the "normal" groupings of childhood.  I was 15 years old when I
began to realize why.

I had only been 15 for a few months, but I already considered myself
enough of an adult to act on my own.  Apparently my parents agreed too
one day when I found myself left alone at home.  I had a slight cold,
and I had talked my mother into letting me stay home from school.  My
father was at work, of course, my sister was in school, and my mother
had to visit her sister in a hospital some distance from where we liv-
ed.  "We're giving you a big responsibility," my mother announced as
she was leaving.  "Take good care of the house.  I'll be back around
three fifteen." With that she pulled her coat on, and left.  I was
alone.

I glanced at the kitchen clock.  It was 8:30AM.  If my mother was not
due back until about three that left me six and a half hours to amuse
myself on my own.  I had not had breakfast yet, but I was not really
hungry.  I wandered through the house aimlessly looking around the ro-
oms.  There must be an instinct to do that in all of us.  Sort of like
some primordial animal surveying a new territory.

I stepped into my sister's room.  I looked at the dolls lying about,
and picked one up.  This was the baby doll that we used when we played
house.  I had cradled it in my arms as its "daddy" many times before,
but there had always been a little girl around to take it away from me.
Today, however, I could hold it for as long as I liked.  I vaguely th-
ought about how much I liked being its "mommy" for a change, and not-
iced my sister's robe lying across the bed.  I touched it, and thought,
"Why not?"

I stood and removed my pyjamas.  I was naked in my younger sister's ro-
om.  That was Freudian enough, but nothing compared to what was to co-
me.  I picked up the robe, and found a "baby doll" nightie underneath.
I gazed at it for only a moment before I caught myself stepping into
the panties, and pulling them up my legs.  I had a little trouble get-
ting my penis into them.  It stood out rock hard from my body, and I
had to lay it back against my tummy.  I slipped the top of the nightie
over my head, and felt the cool nylon fabric caressing my torso as it
floated down over me.  My nipples too were now erect, and I could just
make out the outline of their little nubs poking into the fabric when I
looked in the mirror.

I tugged the robe around me, put my feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers,
and trembled all over.  To this day I find it difficult to describe
what I felt at that moment.  Something changed in me.  I felt real and
alive at last!  As a boy I always felt as if I were acting a role in
costume in some strange play.  This was different.  I was normal, the
way I should have always been.  I picked up the dolly, and went to the
kitchen for my first breakfast as a girl.

After breakfast I went back to wandering the house in the robe and ni-
ghtie.  This time I stepped into my parents' room.  It was strange be-
ing there especially dressed as I was.  This room had always been the
inner sanctum of the whole house.  As children we might run roughshod
through the rest of our home, but we always stopped at the door to this
room, looked in, and waited for specific parental permission to enter.
There was something almost sacred about it.  It smelled lightly of "Old
Spice" and my mother's perfume.  I walked slowly around the room taking
it all in.

I stood before my mother's bureau.  I was pretending to be the "mommy"
of the house, and I wondered what a real mommy might keep in the draw-
ers.  I opened one, and saw a delicate pile of silk and lace.  I took
out a pair of my mother's panties, and held them up to look at.  I knew
at that instant what I had to do.  The clothing of a little girl that I
wore would suit me no longer.  I was 15 years old, and enough of an ad-
ult to be left alone in the house for the day.  Only the clothing of an
adult woman would do.

I may have never been comfortable as a boy, but I could now feel com-
fortable as a girl.  I needed to know if I could feel comfortable as a
woman!  Was this what I had been yearning for all of my 15 years?  I
only knew that it felt right, and that it had aroused feelings and emo-
tions in me that I wanted to explore!

I placed the panties on the bureau, and returned to my sister's room.
There I stripped off the robe, nightie, and slippers, and placed them
on the bed as I had found them.  I picked up my pyjamas, and took them
to my room.  Then I returned to my parents' room, and stood in front of
the bureau looking into the mirror at myself.  I was nude, but I still
clutched the dolly.  I was about to go from little girl to woman.  This
baby doll was about to start growing up!

My hand fell to the panties on my mother's bureau, and I picked them
up.  I examined them slowly.  They were white nylon with white lace
panels at the sides.  I swallowed hard, stepped into them, and pulled
them up about my hips.  The nylon felt cool against my skin.  I felt a
rush of excitement flow through me.  They felt good!  I looked down to
see my penis straining against the filmy material.  I pressed it up
against my tummy, and looked into the open drawer.

My hands found a white nylon bra that almost matched the panties.  I
slipped my arms through the straps, and reached behind me to fasten it.
I had some trouble with the catch at first, but soon had the bra secu-
red around my chest.  My tiny male breasts did only a little toward
filling out the C-cups, but a couple of pair of stockings did the job
nicely.  I looked down at my brand new breasts.  I wished in my heart
that they were real!

After a moment of looking, I found a garter-belt and stockings.  The
garter-belt was soon around my waist, and the elastic top helped to
hold my penis back against my tummy.  The stockings were more of a
problem than I expected, and it took me a while to figure out the best
way to put them on, and hook up the garters.  I managed to put a run in
one of the stockings in the process, but I was too excited to care!

I looked at myself in the mirror standing in my parents' room wearing
my mother's lingerie.  I was far from beautiful.  In fact I looked
rather ungainly, but things felt right!  I could not explain it, but in
that lingerie, no matter how bad I looked, I felt like I belonged at
last!  Male clothing had always seemed heavy and encumbering, but these
light whisps of nylon and lace made me feel alive!  I had now to finish
the job.

In the drawer was a white nylon half slip with lace trim.  I put it on,
and looked in the other drawers.  They were filled with all sorts of
pretty things.  I wanted to try them all!  I finally settled on a
knitted pink top, and slipped it over my head.  It clung deliciously
over my breasts, and I took a moment to admire the way they looked in
the mirror before moving to the closet.  I had seen into my mother's
closet before, and I knew what I wanted next was there.  I quickly
located the white skirt with the pink belt.  I had seen my mother in
this outfit before, and I had always liked it.  I wanted to see how I
looked in it.

At the bottom of the closet were the shoes.  I took out a pair of white
pumps with four inch heels, and tried them on.  They were a little
tight, but I could get into them.  I stood unsteadily on them, and my
eyes found the blonde wig on its form on the closet shelf.  In a second
it was on my head, and I returned to the bureau for a look.

In the mirror was a strange sight.  There was a strange blonde girl
staring back at me.  She was rather plain, and perhaps not the pret-
tiest girl I had ever seen, but the realization that she was me made my
heart skip a beat!  I had seen myself in mirrors before, but I had nev-
er paid much attention to the way I looked other than to ensure that my
hair was parted properly.  I looked the female me over very carefully.

The first thing I noticed was that my face appeared rather plain for a
girl.  It took me a moment to realize that it needed make-up.  I looked
down at the bureau, but saw nothing like what I thought I needed.  I
started looking through drawers.  Soon enough I came upon the drawer
where my mother kept her extra make-up.  The tubes, bottles, jars, com-
pacts, pencils, brushes, and boxes were a mystery.  I spent quite a
while sorting through them before I got an idea of what they were all
for.  Then I had to chose a color scheme.  Since the outfit I was wear-
ing was pink and white, I chose shades of pink.  I decided against
using nail polish then thinking that it would be difficult to remove
before someone else came home.

I applied the make-up the way I thought it should be applied.  I am
sure that I looked nothing short of grotesque, but maybe it was not all
that bad after all.  I do know that I looked very different when I was
finished, but I also felt all the more female.  I felt the way it se-
emed I should feel.  I knew in my heart that this was right.  It was
now 11:45AM.  I was starting my first day as a woman, and I had almost
four hours of it ahead.

I spent quite some time just looking at myself in a number of mirrors.
I wanted to see my new female incarnation from as many angles as pos-
sible.  No matter what view I took, I liked what I saw!  Gone were the
shapeless clothes of my male self!  Gone were the angular male features
un-softened by make-up!  Gone was the feeling of rough wools and cot-
tons against my skin!  Gone was the lanky boy who never could fit into
the role into which he was cast by some perverse misalignment of gen-
etic material!

In his place was the soft female form into which he should have been
moulded from the first.  The feeling of satin and lace caressed her
delicate flesh.  The subtle shadings of her make-up blended her fea-
tures into a soft balance.  The clothing fitted and enhanced her form
to set it off at its best.

I felt wonderful!  It did not matter that I would probably not have
passed as a woman on the street that day.  I knew that such things
would come in time.  All that I cared about was that I had found the
real me at last!  The best part of that was that I liked HER!

When most people consider making major changes to their lifestyle, the
first things that they picture themselves doing are the things that ap-
pear to be the most spectacular, or the most fun.  I had just made such
a major change to my lifestyle.  Indeed, visions of dancing until dawn
in a long sequined evening gown flowed through my mind.  Even at that
moment I could picture myself doing it.  What really happened, however,
was something much more mundane.  I went downstairs, and made myself
some lunch.  It was such a simple thing, but the doing of simple things
that day affirmed and validated the woman that I had become.  The spec-
tacular is usually done by a character in a dream, but the mundane is
done by real people every day.  I was indeed real as a woman, and I did
those "every day" things to prove it.

Doing all of those mundane things made me feel very good indeed.  I
walked all over the house just to listen to the click of my high-heels
as I walked.  I moved in the chair and on the sofa in the living room
while I sat watching television just to see the different ways that my
skirt as I changed position.  I bent, twisted, and moved in as many
ways I could think of to catch glimpses of different parts of my now
female anatomy in different ways.  I did all that I could that a woman
might do that day.  I had a lot of time to make up for.

I liked the way that my female clothing felt.  By 1:30PM, I was becom-
ing sexually aroused by that fact, and all that had happened that day.
Somehow I found myself back in my parents' room staring at myself in
the mirror.  I wondered what would I look like to a man.  I slid my
skirt up to expose the creamy skin above my stockings.  I liked how
that looked!  I did it again.  Soon I was sexually teasing myself in
the mirror.  My hand went to the zipper at the back of my skirt.  I un-
did it, and slid the skirt to my feet.  I was doing a striptease for
myself, and I was enjoying both sides of it!

Before long I wore only panties and bra, and I lay down on my parents'
bed.  I had never layed there before.  It always seemed almost sacred.
This was where my father fucked my mother!  I looked down my body to
see my penis straining against the thin panties that I wore.  It seemed
to harden even more with the thoughts of them together here!  I touched
it, and a shiver ran through me.  I rubbed at the bottom of the head
with just the tip of my middle finger like a woman masturbating her
clit.  My breath came in excited gasps.  I bounced my ass on the bed
thinking of what it could be like to have a man fucking me!  My release
was copious.  I came in long spurts.  It soiled my panties, but I did
not care.  I had found what I should always have been!

The clock said 2:20PM.  My mother would soon be home.  I arose, and to-
ok off the bra and wig.  I carefully placed everything back where I had
found it.  Then I went to my room for a robe, and went into the bath-
room.  I was just starting to take off my make-up when I heard my mo-
ther entering the house.  She called to me from downstairs, and I ans-
wered that I was going to take a bath.  I got the last of my make-up
off when I realized that I was still wearing my panties.  I slipped
them off, and held them up for a look before putting them into the poc-
ket of my robe.  My mother would think that they were lost in the laun-
dry.  They really were my panties now!

                              = = * = =

Margo and I plopped into two chairs in the living room of the apartment
we now shared.  Boxes, bags, and packages from our shopping spree to
get me a complete female wardrobe lay all about the room.  I was tired!
I kicked off my high-heeled shoes to give my feet a rest.  I knew Margo
wanted to go to "The Gilded Grape" tonight as she did every Saturday
night, but I was not sure that I was up for it.  I did want to wear
some of my pretty new things, and I liked the atmosphere of the club,
so I knew that we would wind up there.

"Well, Bobbi," said Margo at length, "shall we put these things away?"
It took me a moment to gain my feet, but soon we were in my bedroom
with all of the parcels.  Margo sat on the bed opening things, and
passing them to me to be put away.  I only had a minimum of male cloth-
ing there.  Just enough so that I could work at my male job until I
could find work as a woman as I knew I would, and that clothing I kept
tucked away in the bottom drawers of the bureau.  There was plenty of
room for the things I had just purchased.

"We should get ready to go out soon, Bobbi," Margo said as the last
soft and lacy piece of my new feminine attire was gently placed in the
drawer.  "All right," was all I said in response.  I was tired, but I
sort of did want to go out.  I had to live in male clothing all week at
my job, so I relished every moment I could spend as a woman.  Margo
worked as a woman as a clerk in a store, and I too wanted a job as a
woman.  That all made the time that I could spend in a dress all the
more precious to me.  I knew that a shower and a change of clothes
would perk me up enough to go out.

There were two other problems to going out with Margo that evening.
Margo liked going to "The Gilded Grape" on Saturday nights, and Margo
liked going to "The Gilded Grape" on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednes-
day, Thursday, and Friday nights too!  The problem was that Margo was
an alcoholic!  She kept it enough under some control so that it did not
affect our situation together then, but it caused quite a number of
problems for us later as it got worse.  I enjoyed a drink or two at the
bar, of course, but I did not want to try to keep up with her drink for
drink as she always tried to get me to do.

The other problem was that Margo turned tricks for cash with some of
the men who liked Drag Queens that came into "The Gilded Grape" to sup-
plement her income.  She had gotten me into doing that once, and I
would probably do it again, but I did not want to tonight.  She usually
took them to one of the sleazy hotels in the Times Square area, so I
would have the apartment to myself for a while later tonight when I
came home.  Bringing a trick up here was reserved for only a few of her
special regulars like Frank who we had brought here last week.  I just
wanted to somehow insure that I could watch television later without
having to listen to the sounds of Margo getting fucked in the next
room.

I had a word with Margo about all of this while we were getting showe-
red and dressed.  I told her that I wanted to try some things on my own
when we went out that night.  After all, I had been in public for a we-
ek as a woman, but she had been with me to advise and direct for every
minute of that time.  I told her that I appreciated her help, but I
wanted to see how I could handle things as a woman for myself.  It was
as much true as it was a ploy to get around the problems, and perhaps
more true than anything else.  I did want to feel what it was like to
be a woman on my own.

Margo took it well, and went along with it.  "So the little bird wants
to fly on her own?," she joked.  "That is fine with me.  It's about
time that you did!  You are as much woman as I can make you now.  The
rest is up to you!" I knew that she was right.  I thought that I was
just getting by a couple of problems, but the time had come for me to
leave the nest.  I was a woman now, and if I wanted to continue being
one, I had to go out on my own, and do it.

This Baby Doll was growing up a little more.  It had started with the
panties from my mother's bureau four years earlier, and this was the
third step.  For a moment my mind wandered back to that second step in
between when I lost my virginity to a man!

                              = = * = =

It was only about four months after the first time I had dressed as a
woman in my mother's clothes that it happened.  I was left alone a few
other times since that first day in Drag, and each time I headed direc-
tly for my mother's bureau to dress.  I was getting better at it, and I
even seemed to be having some of the same feelings toward things that a
woman might have.  At 16 years old I was awakening sexually more and
more each day, and that sexual awakening was in an attraction to men as
sexual partners, and not to women.  It just felt natural that way to
me.

I fantasized about what it might be like to be seduced by a man as a
woman.  I would lie in my parents' bed in one of my mother's filmy
nighties, and pretend that I was being made love to by a man.  I would
hold one of my father's king-sized pillows to me making believe that it
was my man.  I would slide the hem of the nightie up to my belly, and
roll onto my back.  Then pull the pillow on top of me, and masturbate
to climax while bouncing on the bed as if I was being fucked by a man.
I wanted it to happen for real!  I did not have long to wait.

I grew up in Union City, NJ.  Not very far from where we lived was a
vacant lot on the edge of the Hudson River Palisades.  Looking straight
down from the cliff, you could see the entrance ramps for the Lincoln
Tunnel.  Looking out across the river, you could see New York City.  In
the lot was the ruins of the foundation of an old building.  A few peo-
ple would sit on the ruins or park in the lot to watch the ships on the
river, and just enjoy the view.  You could also find a rather treach-
erous path or two that led down the cliff to some more secluded ledges
for sitting and watching.  This all amounted to the local "Lover's
Lane" in the evenings.  I, however, was a daytime watcher, and so was
an older man who seemed to enjoy watching me more than the river!

He was about 35 years old, or maybe a year or two younger when we met.
He worked a night shift, and sometimes spent the afternoon sitting on
the wall, and watching the river like I did after school.  I know now
that he was cruising almost anyone who came into the lot, bit in those
days I was still a little naive to such things.

He was about 6'1" tall with black hair, and looked very Italian.  He
was well muscled, but with just a tiny bit more tummy than he should
have to make his physique perfect.  We had talked a few times, so I
knew that his name was Don, but not much more about him.  I was about
to learn a great deal more on that day!

I was sitting on the wall watching a cruise ship dock on the other side
of the river when he sat down beside me.  We greeted each other, and
talked for a while about the ship.  While we were talking, a car with a
man and woman inside pulled into the lot behind us.  Don and I took
little notice at first, but after a little while I turned to see the
couple in the car kissing, and the man touching the woman's breast.

Don looked too for a moment, and turned back to me saying, "Do you
think he'll get a feel of her pussy too?"  I replied with only a smile,
but as I did I shifted my seat a bit, and touched my crotch.  In my
youth, I was getting somewhat excited by the scene.  I was also thin-
king of what it would be like to be that woman getting my breast, and
maybe my pussy, felt by that man!  I knew that I wanted it to happen,
but I was not yet able to understand it either.

Don saw what I was doing, and picked up his cue.  "Are you getting
hard?," he whispered to me.  I was surprised by his question, but some-
how I think I actually grasped that he was propositioning me.  I knew
that I wanted it to happen, but I did not know what to say next.  In a
halting voice, I said, "I don't know."  "Would you like me to feel it,
and see?," Don asked in a low voice.  Nervously I nodded, and his right
hand slowly moved to my crotch.

I jumped slightly as Don's hand touched me.  My penis throbbed with
pleasure as he held it between his thumb and forefinger through my
trousers.  It grew harder as he fondled it.  My breathing came more
quickly now, and I looked up to see him smiling at me.  I wanted to
fall into his arms, and kiss him right there and then, but we were in
public view in broad daylight.  I ached for more of what was happening
to me!

"Yes, you're getting a nice hardon there," Don said.  "I live in the
apartment house down the street.  Would you like to get a little more
comfortable with me?"  I needed no further encouragement.  I wished
that we were there already.  A quiet "Yes" was all I said, and we were
off.  I glanced into the car as we passed.  The man had his hand up
under the woman's skirt now.  She and I were both getting our "pussies"
felt that day!

Don and I were soon in his apartment.  I hoped that he would take the
lead in this, for I was not sure of what to do, or what would happen in
this, my first time!  I need not have worried.  Don sat on the sofa.
"Strip for me, honey!," he ordered.  I slowly took off all of my clo-
thes, and stood nude for him to look at.  I could see the bulge in his
trousers, and yearned to touch it.  I walked to him, and he reached up
to play with my now fully erect penis.  With it in his hand, I sat down
next to him.

Don's arms enfolded me, and we kissed a long probing kiss.  I had never
kissed a man in that way before, but it was wonderful!  I matched every
movement of his tongue in my mouth with a response from my own tongue.
Then my left hand dropped to the lump in his pants.  It felt huge!
Much bigger than my own penis, and I felt that I had to know what it
was like.  "Mmmm!," Don murmured.  "You're a hot one, honey!  I like
that.  Come on!"

Don stood and pulled me to my feet.  Standing, he took me in his arms
for some more kissing and feeling.  I could feel the hardness of his
cock pressing into my naked thigh through his pants.  He broke the
clinch after a few minutes to take my hand, and lead me into his bed-
room.  I did not resist.  I wanted him to have me as soon as possible!

In the bedroom, Don turned down the double bed, and then took me into
his arms for another kiss.  Then he lay me down on the bed, and stood
over me.  He stripped off all his own clothing as I watched.  The curly
black hair on his head was matched by a forest of curly black hairs all
over his body.  To this day, I am most turned on by men with hairy
chests.

At last Don removed all but his briefs.  I stared at the bulge in them.
I knew what was making that bulge, and I wanted to take it in every way
that he wanted to give it to me!  I stared even more when he stripped
away the underpants, and I got my first good look at his cock.  I thou-
ght it was one of the most wonderful cocks I had ever seen.  It was
about seven inches long with its straight slender shaft ending in a
beautiful circumcised head.  I had to touch it!

Don lay down on the bed next to me, and took me in his arms.  My hand
touched him on his ribs, and began to make its way downward on his
body.  As we kissed in that sensuous embrace, it reached his hip.  I
liked the feel of Don's flesh, and the warmth of his body pressing
close to mine as I lay in his arms.  Something about all of this felt
right to me.  I had only felt this way before when I was in Drag in my
mother's clothes.  I felt like the woman I was in this man's arms.  I
closed my eyes to better savor his probing kisses, the touch of his
hands on my body, and the feel of his skin against mine.

I moved my hand a little further down, and felt the first brush of his
pubic hair under my fingertips.  I played with my fingers in his curly
black bush causing Don to writhe a bit with pleasure.  His hand had
been caressing my penis all the while.  I wanted to return the favor,
but I was hesitant.  I was having the normal virgin's nervousness about
Don's.  I wanted very much to feel it.  I wanted to hold it in my han-
ds, and get to know every inch of it.  I knew that I had to do it.  I
mustered all of my courage, and my hand moved lower.

My hand then touched Don's cock!  A shiver of pleasure ran through me,
and Don moaned in ecstasy.  I had, of course, touched my own penis in-
numerable times before, so I expected this to be the same, but it was
not.  I do not know why.  A cock is a cock, and basically all men's
sexual hardware is similar, but Don's cock did not feel like my penis.
I liked the way it felt, but it felt different.

I played with Don's cock for a very long time, and felt it grow long
and hard in my hand.  I was enjoying this.  I ran my fingers all over
his cock, and rolled the shaft between my palms.  I weighed his balls
in my hands, and gently kneaded his scrotum.  I let myself be guided by
what I knew I liked to have done to me, and by my desire to explore all
of this man.  I was caught up in the experience!  This is what I wan-
ted.  I knew the woman I was from the times alone in Drag.  I would now
be able to fulfill the full potential of that woman with this man.  He
was welcome to every part of my body in any way that he wanted it.  His
pleasure was all I was for at that moment.

Don then moved to take his full pleasure with me.  "I want you now!,"
he growled into my ear with an urgency I had never heard from anyone
before.  He gripped me tightly, and rolled me onto my stomach.  "Hold
still!," he ordered, and I felt a cold lump of Vaseline squirt onto my
asshole.  I flinched at first, but wiggled my ass in anticipation of my
imminent deflowering as I felt Don's fingers rub the jelly into my
anus.

Then there was something other than a finger at my ass.  I immediately
knew what it was, and I let out a small prayer that I could take it
enough to satisfy my man.  I felt Don push at my tender, young, vir-
ginal bottom, and felt my flesh spread as he forced his way deep inside
of me!  I felt as if I was being impaled on a peg as my asshole spread
wider and wider to accept him into me.

It hurt!  It hurt like nothing I had ever felt hurting before, but it
felt very good at the same time.  The spasms of pain rippled through
me, but soon subsided to a level that I could ride along with the rip-
ples of pleasure that alternated with them.  This was what I had wan-
ted, and now I was getting all that I had hoped for!

Don rode me for some minutes.  I reveled in every stroke, and gasped in
ecstasy every time he drove that wonderful cock of his into me.  I wan-
ted it to go on for a very long time, but then there was something dif-
ferent in Don.  His movements became erratic, and his body stiffened
noticeably.  He drove his cock deep into my bowels with a violence I
had not felt from him before.  He groaned a deep guttural growl, and I
felt the warmth of his cum filling me!  My man had cum inside of me!  I
had been well and truly fucked!  I had lost my virginity!

After a while, Don rolled off of me, and lay beside me on the bed.  He
pulled me to him, and kissed me again.  I looked at the time, and real-
ized that I had to get home for dinner.  I dressed quickly, kissed Don
in good-by assuring him that I would seem him again soon, and headed
for home.  My ass squished a bit while I walked.  I thought about my
first fucking all the way home, and on into that night.  This baby doll
was really growing up!

                              = = * = =

Margo was staring at me from the doorway to my room.  "Are you com-
ing?," she asked.  I snapped out of my daydream, and replied, "Yes!
I'll be right with you!"  I had finished dressing, so all there was to
do was slip my wrap about my shoulders, and leave.  Margo and I were
soon on the street, and headed for "The Gilded Grape" again.  I was a
woman now in every way that I could be at that point in my life.  I was
enjoying it, and I wanted more.  I would soon find just that!

We spent a good deal of the first few months of living together in that
sort of routine.  A lot of my life at this time revolved around "The
Gilded Grape", and the people that I met there.  Margo would go there
almost every night, but I tried to hold it to just weekends with an oc-
casional foray in the middle of the week.  It was not that I did not
like the place.  I just felt that I had more things to do on my way to
becoming all the woman I could be than just hanging around in bars with
the other Drag Queens.

I had a long way to go on the road that I had chosen for myself.  I
wanted to be sure that I was doing it the right way, and the Gay and
closet-Gay men and transvestites in there were not the ones that I wan-
ted to do it with.  There was another life that I wanted, and that was
where I fitted in with people like the woman I was.


Sub-title: A Working Girl

It was Saturday night again, and Margo was looking to go out.  I was
too.  We had been living together for about two months now, and I was
established as one of the regular population of Drag Queens in New York
City.  That was not a bad position to be in for now, but there was one
that I would much rather have had.  That was as a real woman, and I
would get it no matter what it took.

Margo and I were as dressed up as we could be, and she was, as usual,
complaining that I took too long at it.  Margo's alcohol problem was
getting worse if anything, and there was no living with her if there
was something standing between her and a drink.  I was almost ready
anyway, so I put on my wrap, picked up my purse, and we were off to our
regular bar.  I was looking forward to a good night, and Margo was just
not going to ruin it.

The atmosphere at "The Gilded Grape" was festive as ever.  Some "gay
bars" in the Times Square area of New York City can be rather dingy and
sordid affairs, but this place always had a much higher class feeling
than the rest.  It looked and acted more like an East Side club than
anything else in the area including many of the "straight" bars.

New York City has had a long succession of places where Drag was the
order of the day.  It started with the old "Club 82" in the middle
1960's, and progressed through "The Gilded Grape", "The G.G.Knicker-
bocker" which was the old "Peppermint Lounge" of Chubby Checker and The
Twist fame, "G.G.'s Barnum Room", and ended with "The Grapevine" in the
early 1980's.  They all had a slightly different ambiance, but "The
Gilded Grape" was always the one that was remembered.  It was the best
of all!

Margo headed directly for our usual place at the bar at the rear of the
establishment where Emma held forth as Barmaid.  Margo and Emma laun-
ched into conversation the instant we sat down, but just as fast there
was a white wine in front of me, and a vodka rocks for Margo.  "I
always remember what my good customers drink," said Emma.  I thanked
her, and sipped my drink like a lady.

Tonight was "Show Night."  Once a month a number of the girls, and some
of their boyfriends would put together a small variety production on
the little stage.  It was not Broadway by any means, but it was often
quite good, and I had always enjoyed it.  "What's the show tonight,
Emma?," I asked over the din of music that always filled the place.  "I
don't know," she replied.  "Ask Tina."

I turned to where Emma had motioned, and saw another Drag Queen sitting
one stool away from me.  "Did someone address me?," she said upon hear-
ing Emma call her name.  "Are you Tina?," I asked, and she nodded.  "I
was just wondering what the show was, and Emma said to ask you." Tina
moved to the stool next to me.  "It's very good tonight," she began.
"We have a dance number by the 'G.G.Girls' chorus line, a guy who does
magic, and a sex-change singer who just cut a record.  I hope you like
it."

I replied that I was sure that I would.  Then Tina said, "We only have
one problem, and maybe you can help with it.  I am the talent coordin-
ator, and I should have eight girls in the chorus line, but one is
leaving.  I need another showgirl for future productions."  I asked how
I fitted in with that, and Tina replied, "I have seen you a couple of
times in here with Margo.  You're new, but you carry yourself well.
Would you like to be one of our showgirls?  You don't get paid, but you
don't have to dance well, and it is a lot of fun!"

I thought: "why not"!  I liked the way the men here looked at me, and
the idea of being ogled on stage was appealing.  "All right!," I said.
"What do I do?"  Tina told me that the next rehearsal would be on a
Tuesday evening in a couple of weeks, and I said that I would be there.
She also asked me to join her at a stageside table for the show.  I
looked around for Margo, but did not see her.  Emma called me over, and
whispered to me, "Margo has a trick.  She went to the hotel with him.
She said to tell you she would be home later."

I watched the show with Tina, and she showed me where I would fit in,
and then introduced me to the other girls after the show.  I got home
at about 1:30AM, and went right to bed.  Margo got in at 4:00AM.  She
had turned three tricks that night, and was drunk.  She made some
noise, but did not intentionally wake me.  I just lay back, and dreamed
of being a chorus girl.

Those first few weeks of my life as a woman flew by quickly.  I concen-
trated all I could at being as much a woman as I possibly could be with
a penis tucked discretely between my legs in my crotch.  I learned to
walk like a female, and even developed a gentle sway in my hips that
had male heads turning for blocks around whenever I walked down the
street.  I liked being looked at that way, and the first time a man
actually whistled at me, my heart skipped a beat!

I had made it as a woman so far.  I had gone beyond the level of just
Drag Queen.  Anyone could be one of those.  They were the ones who were
obviously men who dressed in women's clothing as a sexual turn-on for
themselves and/or their sexual partners.  In Drag, I looked nothing at
all like a man, and in or out of Drag, I felt and thought like a woman.
I was not a man in a dress.  I was a woman with a penis!  I was only a
cruel joke of nature that had made me this way.  I knew that I had to
change that, and become totally a woman in every way that I could.  I
just did not yet know how.

I did know that the male job that I had as a stockboy in a famous 5th
Avenue department store was getting me down.  I wanted to live totally
as a woman, but that was difficult when I had to dress in men's clothes
each morning for work.  I compromised as best I could.  I gave up
wearing any male underwear at all, and wore simple every-day lingerie
with a cotton camisole instead of a bra.  I wore the most effeminate
male outer clothes that I could.  I let my hair grow long, and had it
styled in one of the waviest of the unisex styles that were popular at
that time.  I found a cologne that ran to the sweet side, but not as
sweet as perfume.  I even had my name on all of my identification and
driver's licence changed to just my first initials and last name, but I
still had to live with the "M" in the little box marked "Sex" instead
of the "F" that I wanted so very much.  I looked like the classic
"fairy", but it made me just that much closer to the woman that I
really was.

My appearance as a "fairy" did not go unnoticed by my co-workers.  Most
shunned me as if I had some sort of dread disease.  A few tolerated me,
the greater number ignored me, but a couple were outright hostile
toward me.  One salesman with whom I had been friendly before now
avoided me at all costs.  I was saddened by this, for he (his name was
Dave) was one who I thought would understand, and maybe help me bridge
the gap.  He was a couple of years older than I, and was a philosophy
major at Hunter College.  We had talked of homosexuality in the context
of philosophy, and I assumed he would be supportive.  I missed our
talks very much.

I was a little surprised, however, at gaining a new friend in my new
role.  I was befriended by our departmental secretary, Edith.  We had
never been close before, but something about the "new" me seemed to
strike a responsive chord in her.  She was about 45 years old, but
looked some years younger.  She had long blonde hair with just a touch
of grey that she kept dome up in a bun.  She had a truly magnificent
figure for a woman of her age, and I thought that she must have been as
much of a striking beauty in her youth as she was now.  Edith had been
born in Estonia, and had fled that country with her mother soon after
it had been annexed by the Soviet Union in 1940.  He accent was
delicate and haunting.  I found myself drawn to her in a non-sexual way
that I could not explain.  She did all that she could to encourage it.

My family could not accept the change in me.  My father and I had never
been close.  I had been a disappointment to him as a son.  When he saw
what I had become, his macho homophobia kicked in, and he rejected me
out of hand.  He was quite vocal about it all, calling me "That fucking
fairy!" to all within earshot.  My mother at first tried to calm him,
but a gesture with the back of his hand stopped her.  He had beaten her
once in the past that I knew of, and she would not risk it again.  My
sister seemed more supportive, but too young to show it in outward
defiance of our father.  That left me isolated from my family.  It hurt
me deeply.

My new appearance as a "fairy" at work also caught the notice of the
Personnel Department.  One of the Assistant Personnel Managers began to
take more than a passing interest in me.  His name was Paul.  It had
always seemed like he looked familiar, but I could not place why.  I
found out soon enough.

I was at "The Gilded Grape" on Friday night sitting alone at a table. I
was dressed in a new powder-blue cocktail dress that hugged my curves
seductively.  I was just in the mood for meeting someone new when a man
sat down at the table with me.  I did not look at him at first, but I
thought to myself that I could use the cash from turning a trick that
night, so if that was what he wanted, that was just what he was going
to get.  I looked at him to say hello, and swallowed hard!  It was
Paul!

He smiled, and said, "Hello.  I've seen you around here before.  Could
I buy you a drink?"  I accepted.  Maybe he had not recognized me.  It
could be a kick to turn a trick with him, but I would have to be care-
ful.  Paul was married.  He was one of the men who came into the bar
looking for a "change" from their wives.  Now I knew where I had seen
him before, and why he had taken such an interest in the new me at
work.  I calmed down a little.  This might be fun!

The waitress brought our drinks.  As I sipped mine, Paul said, "I've
been coming here for quite a while, but I've seen very few girls like
you.  You're very pretty.  You look more like a painting than a girl."
I thanked him for the compliment, and we made small talk for a while.
Then Paul finally said, "I'd like to get to know you a little more
privately."  I leaned over to him, and whispered, "We could go out for
a while.  It will cost you twenty-five dollars, and ten dollars for the
room."  He agreed, and I led the way out of the bar.

I took him to the Alva Hotel a few blocks away.  It was just another of
the seedy hotels that dotted the Times Square area.  They rented more
rooms by the hour than by the night.  Paul registered us as another "Mr
& Mrs Smith", and we went to our room.  This was not the first, nor the
last trick I would turn, but I was excited over fooling Paul this way.
I liked being a hooker.

Paul knew the procedure.  I had barely locked the door behind us when
he handed me two tens and a five.  "Would you like to spend a little
more, and stay longer?," I asked in my most seductive voice.  "No, not
this time," he answered.  "I'll just take a blow-job for now." That was
all right with me.  "Okay," I said.  "Take off your pants!"

Paul dropped his pants, and tossed them over the chair.  I was mildly
impressed when he took off his briefs.  He had about six and a half
inches of circumcised cock-meat hanging there, and it looked clean,
smooth, and delicious!  This would be even more fun than I had thought.
One of the best parts of being a prostitute was getting a taste of a
really nice cock once in a while, and Paul's cock looked very tasty!

I slipped the straps of my dress off my shoulders, and stepped out of
it.  Paul looked at me in just my lacy powder-blue bra, panties,
garter-belt with sheer stockings, and white shoes, and his cock came to
attention!  He took me into his arms for a kiss, and I took hold of it.
It felt as nice as it looked, so I played with it for a minute.  Then I
led him into the bathroom, soaped up my hands, and gave his cock a good
washing.  A working girl has to be careful, and it was going in my
mouth after all.

"Take down your panties," he asked.  "I want to play with you while you
suck me."  I did as he asked, and my penis popped free.  From the smile
on his face, I could tell he liked what he saw!

Paul lay on his back on the bed in the cheap hotel room, and I kneeled
on the bed next to him.  His hand was on my penis immediately, but he
touched it gently.  He played with it like a man playing with a woman's
clit.  He was not rough with it like some of the men I had sex with.
His touch felt very good, and although most of the time I did not want
my lovers to touch my penis, and break the illusion that it was nothing
more than a distended clit, I really liked the way he touched it.  This
blow-job really would be fun!

I bent over, and took the length of his cock into my mouth.  It tasted
as good as it looked, and Paul sighed deeply with pleasure.  I let his
cock slip from my lips with a delicious popping sound.  His hand
continued rolling my five inch "clit" of a penis between its thumb and
forefinger sending little shivers of excitement all through me.  I was
hard by that time, and growing harder by the second.  If he would use
just a little more pressure, and moved just a little faster, I could
get off too, but he was paying for this, so it was the client's
pleasure that was important, and not the prostitute's.

I nibbled gently at the underside of his cock, and Paul's whole body
stiffened.  He was very responsive to all my ministrations, and it was
obvious that he was enjoying the blow-job I was giving him.  I moved
lower on his cock, and flicked at the ball sack that hung below with
just the tip of my tongue.  Paul was moaning audibly now, and squirming
beneath me on the bed.  I licked his balls for some moments, and even
took one into my mouth to taste.  I could have gone on with this for a
very long time, but there was a time limit on the room, and I had to
get him off before the limit ran out, but he tasted so very good!

With a bit of disappointment that this would have to end, I took Paul's
cock into my mouth to administer the coup de grace.  He shivered with
pleasure as my lips enwrapped the head, and slid down the length of the
shaft.  I really wanted to please him.  I did a "deep throat" on him,
and swallowed each time his cock reached the back of my throat.  That
way my glottis massaged the head of his cock sending further shivers of
ecstasy through him.  I then tightened the grip of my lips around his
cock, and pumped it in and out of my mouth increasing the speed of it
as I went.

Paul's cock throbbed in my mouth, and I knew that I would soon reap the
rewards of my efforts.  I braced for the first spurt of cum that I just
knew would be forcefully gushing into my mouth.  Paul took a deep
breath, held it for a moment, and then let it out in a long moaning
sigh.  As he did that, his semen started filling my mouth.  It did not
shoot in hard spasms as I had expected, but poured out slowly in one
long gentle but relentless stream.  Its warmth filled my entire mouth
before I realized what was happening.  There was so much that I am sure
it would have trickled out of my nose if I had not swallowed the first
half of his load while he was still cumming!

The outpouring of semen from Paul's cock finally stopped, and I let the
shaft slip from my lips.  He looked up at me with pleasure in his eyes
while I tasted the sweet saltyness of the load of cum that filled my
mouth, and then swallowed it all.  I never waste a drop!  I bent back
down to lick his cock and balls clean one last time, and he let go his
finger grip on my penis.  I really wanted some release too, but it was
not to happen then for this working girl.  I lay down next to him, and
he kissed me gently.  I would have liked to spend the night with him,
but that was all he had paid for.

I lay in Paul's arms for a little while, and played with his cock as it
softened.  I really wanted him to fuck me, but the trick was done.  I
kissed him on the cheek, and said, "We should get dressed now," to him
softly.  We reluctantly got out of bed.

Paul asked me to let him dress first, and pose for him in just my bra,
garter-belt, and stockings.  Prostitutes do not usually do that for
their "Johns", but I wanted to please him.  "Are you going back to the
G.G.?," I asked.  "No," he said.  "I have to go now.  Can I see you
again?"  I moved to another pose, and replied, "Sure!  I am at the G.G.
most nights.  I will see you there."  He nodded, and finished dressing.
He reached down, and touched my dress that was lying on the chair.  I
did not know why then, so I just kissed him good-bye, and let him out.

Alone now in the room, I picked up my panties, and began to get dres-
sed.  I had a problem.  Paul had excited me so much that my penis was
rock hard.  I wanted to at least masturbate, but there was not enough
time left on the room to do it.  I had to leave here soon.  It took as
much concentration and effort as I could muster to get it tucked back
between my legs into my crotch.  It hurt that way, but there was no
other was that it would not show.  I really hated having a penis most
at times like these.  I so longed to be rid, once and for all, of that
useless lump of flesh.  I had to find a way to do it!

I adjusted my breasts in my bra, and picked up my dress.  Something
fell out of the folds of the dress, and onto the floor.  I picked it
up, and found that it was a five dollar bill.  Paul must have slipped
it into the dress when he touched it on the way out.  He had left me a
tip!  In those days, thirty dollars for a blow-job and a kiss was a
pretty good price.  Paul must have enjoyed what he had gotten.  It made
me feel good.  I put it in my purse, and put on my dress.  A quick
adjustment to my hair and make-up, and I was out the door.  This
working girl had done well so far tonight.

I walked back to "The Gilded Grape" with my high-heels clicking happily
on the pavement.  I passed a couple of Drag Queens that I knew on 8th
Avenue.  They were trying to pick up a trick or two out there with all
the "real-girl" street walkers.  I waved a greeting, but did not stop.
I had never turned a trick on the street, and I wondered what that
would be like.  I would have to try it sometime.

My new friend Tina was sitting at the front bar when I walked back into
"The Gilded Grape".  I sat down on the bar stool next to her.  "How was
he?," she asked.  I looked at her with a puzzled look.  "That guy!,"
she said.  "I saw you leave with him, so I assumed you were going to
turn a trick."  I ordered a drink, and said, "Oh, I didn't know you saw
us.  He wasn't bad, but he got me horny as hell!" Tina smiled knowingly
at me.  "I know the feeling," she replied.

We sipped at our drinks, and Tina asked, "We have a rehearsal for the
'G.G.Girls' chorus line on Tuesday.  Did you get the leotard I told you
to?"  I had bought it that week.  "Yes," I said.  "I got a red one, and
the other things too."  Tina set her drink down.  "I'd like to see it,"
she said.  "This place is boring tonight.  Why don't we go to your
place, and see what you have?"  Margo was spending the night with a
boyfriend, so I said, "All right.  That sounds better than sitting
here."  We left the bar, and went to my apartment.  I was about to
start my career as a showgirl.  I was excited, but still horny!

Tina had not been to the apartment that Margo and I shared before, so
there was the usual ten minutes of showing her around, punctuated with
the usual polite comments about "how nice everything looked" from her
when we arrived.  She finally took a seat in one of the living room
chairs, and I offered her a drink.  When I brought it Tina said, "Why
don't you change into that leotard, so we can see what you look like as
a chorus girl?"  I got a tingle of excitement when she said "chorus
girl"!  I was excited about being one of the "G.G.Girls"!  I said,
"Okay!," and went to my bedroom to change.

Tina waited for me in the living room, so I could make a grand entrance
in my rehearsal clothes.  The management of "The Gilded Grape" supplied
the show costumes, so I did not have anything fancy, but I was looking
forward to posing for Tina in what I had.  I stripped to the skin when
I was alone in the bedroom, and looked at myself in the full-length
mirror.  I let my penis pop from its tuck in my crotch.  I was still
horny from my session with Paul, and with the excitement of the moment
now, it was still about half hard.  I wanted to masturbate, but Tina
was waiting for me, so that would have to come later.  I hated my
penis!  I had to find a way to be rid of it somehow.

I took out my rehearsal clothes, and started to get dressed.  These
were work clothes, so there was a minimum of frills and lace, but they
were sexy enough to make me feel quite feminine anyway.  The outfit
started with a pair of plain pink nylon panties with a little extra
stitching in the crotch to help keep my penis tucked safely away during
the high-kick numbers.  Over this I put on a pair of sheer-to-waist
nylon tights.

I put on a lightweight, but padded pink bra.  I filled out what was
missing in my bra cups with a trick that Tina had suggested.  These
were two small plastic bags filled with birdseed!  They filled out my
breasts, but were pliable enough to mould to the shape of my bra, so
they looked natural.  They also bounced and jiggled like real breasts
when I moved.  After wearing these for a while, I covered the plastic
with a cover made from a male undershirt.  That way my chest would not
sweat so much when I wore them.

The crowning touch of the outfit was a red jersey leotard, with, of
course, no legs, short sleeves, and an almost daring scoop to the neck-
line.  I tied a pink and white scarf around my waist for a belt, and
stepped into a pair of black leather dancing shoes with a two and a
half inch heel.  Then I tied my hair into a side pony-tail with another
pink and white scarf.

I looked at myself in the full-length mirror again.  I really did look
like a showgirl!  My penis twitched a bit in its tuck.  I was still
very horny, and I was excited over what was happening.  I could hardly
wait to show Tina.

I opened the bedroom door, and stepped into the living room.  Tina
looked up when I entered.  She looked very pleased at what she saw, but
there was something else in her eyes as well.  I could not put my
finger on what it was, but I liked the way she looked at me.  I just
enjoyed the fact that she seemed to like what she saw.

"Bobbi!," Tina exclaimed.  "You look wonderful!  That is exactly the
look that I want for the 'G.G.Girls' in every way!  I just knew it when
I asked you to do this.  You should fit in very well indeed."  I got
little butterflies in my stomach when she said that.  It was really
going to happen.  I was going to be a chorus girl!  Tina asked me to
walk and pose for her.  I did it willingly.  I was really enjoying
this!

 After a few minutes of directing me, Tina got up to stand with me in
 the living room.  She looked me over very carefully, taking her time
 with every bit of me.  She bounced my titties with her fingers, and
 the little friction of my falsies against my chest made my nipples
 harden.  She ran her hands down my curves, and over my bottom.  I was
 already horny as hell, and her examination only heightened that!  It
 seemed for a second that this was more than a simple theatrical
 examination.  It felt like she was feeling me up!  Then she stopped,
 and stood next to me.

 "Let's try a couple of dance moves," she suggested.  I followed her
 lead, but it was not easy at first.  Men do not usually move that way,
 but I worked had at it, and soon I was almost able to keep up with
 her.  I had the most problem with the high-kick.  Tina showed me how
 to use the back of the sofa as an exercise bar to stretch my
 hamstrings, but it would be a few months before I could move the way
 she did.  At last Tina called for a rest, and we both sat on the sofa.

 "You move very well," Tina said as she caught her breath.  I thanked
 her for the compliment.  "You could be really good if you worked at
 it.  Have you thought about dancing lessons?," she asked.  I had not
 considered it, but the idea intrigued me.  Tina continued, "I have a
 friend who runs a school.  She's a dyke, but she takes Drag Queens as
 students.  I'll give you her card." Tina took a business card from her
 purse, and handed it to me.  Her fingers brushed mine as she did, and
 she smiled deeply at me.  I took the card, but I wondered what the
 smile meant.

 Tina lit a cigarette, and spoke again, "I have an idea for a skit that
 I would like to try sometime at the G.G.  You might just fit in.  How
 about a costume change, so we can see?"  I nodded in agreement, and
 Tina rose to lead the way to my bedroom.

 "What sort of skit do you have in mind?," I asked as we entered the
 bedroom.  Tina's eyes explored me once again before she answered,
 "It's a comedy skit, and it's set in a bedroom.  Two of the boys want
 to do it, but I need a pretty girl in a nightie as 'window dressing'
 to back them up.  Do you have a sexy, but not too revealing nightie?
 Remember, we're on stage, so it shouldn't show too much."  I went to
 my bureau, and took out a pink nightie of a waltz length with a
 matching semi-transparent nylon robe.  "That's perfect!," Tina
 exclaimed.  "Let me see what you look like in it."

 Tina sat on the upholstered chair in my bedroom, and watched me strip.
 That did not help my horniness very much either!  I like being looked
 at as a woman, and Tina's gaze was as much a turn-on as any.  I had
 not dreamed that she could be sexually interested in me, but as I
 watched the way her eyes followed my every move, I became aware that
 she was taking more than a "professional" interest in me.  In a
 strange way, I liked that too!  Maybe Tina was a Lesbian Drag Queen
 who preferred other Drag Queens as sexual partners.  I had a hunch I
 was about to find out.

 I now stood in Tina's view wearing just my bra and panties.  I
 unhooked my bra, and watched her eyes flash as my small breasts
 appeared.  She was enjoying this, and frankly so was I!  I dropped my
 bra on the bureau, and reached for the elastic of my panties.  I
 turned back to face Tina, and stripped them off.  Tina smiled broadly,
 and took a deep drag on her cigarette.  "You're even more beautiful
 than I thought!," she said with a note of real sincerity in her voice.
 I smiled, and stood there in the nude for a minute while she drank it
 in.  I turned, and donned the pink nightie.  Tina still just stared at
 me.

 I stood in my bedroom in my pink nightie while Tina watched me.  I did
 a turn for her, and let the nightie flare out as I did.  "That's it!,"
 exclaimed Tina.  "That's the look I want for the skit!  You're a
 natural, Bobbi!"  She really meant what she said too, as I would find
 out as time went on.

 Tina looked at me for a little while longer.  Then she stood, and
 walked over to me.  "You really are very beautiful," she said softly
 as she slipped her arm around my shoulders.  I looked into her eyes,
 and her lips pressed to mine.  I melted into Tina's arms as she
 whispered, "I wanted you the first moment I ever saw you."  Our
 tongues played tag with each other as we fell onto the bed.

 Tina's hand moved straight to my crotch.  "There's one part of you I
 haven't seen yet," she cooed into my ear as she nibbled at the lobe.
 "I'll bet it's just as pretty as the rest of you."  I spread my legs
 for her, and she took hold of my penis.  "Mmmm... that is nice!," Tina
 said as she played with it.  "Would you like to see mine?"

 Tina stood up.  I lay on my back on the bed with my fully hard penis
 making a tent in my pink nightie.  She lifted the hem of the nightie
 to my waist, so she could look at my penis.  She sighed audibly, and
 just stared at it.

 Tina did not strip, but turned her back, and lifted her skirt to
 remove her panties.  Tina faced me again, and raised her skirt to
 expose her own penis.  I got a shock when I saw it.  Tina was hung!

 Tina had nine inches of penis standing straight out from her crotch!
 My own penis throbbed even more when I saw it.  I was horny ever since
 I gave Paul that blow-job.  The sight of Tina's penis made me even
 more so!  I had to touch it, so I reached toward her.  Tina kneeled on
 the bed, and I played with her penis while she played with mine.

 "I want you now!," ordered Tina after a minute.  She grabbed my hips,
 and moved me to a kneeling position with my head down on the pillows.
 Tina reached for the jar of Vaseline on my night stand, and lubricated
 her penis.  She kneeled between my legs, and lifted my nightie to
 expose my bottom.  She caressed it, and then spread my asscheeks to
 position her penis at my anus.

 Tina pressed forward, and pushed the head of her penis into my ass.
 She continued to push until she had run all nine inches of the shaft
 deep into my bowels.  It felt bigger than it looked, but in the state
 I was in, it felt wonderful!  Tina pumped her penis in and out of me,
 and she pumped hard.  Tina made love only one way, and that was full
 out and uninhibited, but she was good at it!

 Tina rammed her penis into me for at least twenty minutes.  I felt
 like I was on fire with her!  She could fuck harder than anyone I ever
 knew!  I could do nothing but press my face into the pillows, and let
 her ride me as she willed.  I glanced into the mirror, and saw her
 fully dressed over me with her head thrown back in ecstasy!  She was a
 wild woman now totally unleashed!

 Tina then gave out a gurgling moan, and her penis throbbed hard within
 me.  I felt the familiar warmth grow deep inside of me, and I knew she
 was cumming, and cumming hard!  Her hot semen filled me up, and she
 fell away from me with some of it glistening on her penis.  I
 stretched out on the bed next to her, and just lay there on my stomach
 sweating and panting, totally spent.

 Tina arose after a moment to get a towel to clean us both off.  Then
 she lay next to me, and took me in her arms for a kiss.  Her hand went
 back to my still hard penis.  I was exhausted, but still with no
 release.  Tina sensed that right away.

 Tina and I lay on the bed in each other's arms while she played with
 my hard penis.  She was still fully dressed except for her panties,
 and I was wearing my pink nightie.  When we had caught our breath,
 Tina stood, and took my hand.  She gently pulled me up to stand with
 her.  She kissed me again, and said, "We have one more matter to
 attend to."  She moved me so that I stood with my back against the
 wall.  "Stay there," she ordered quietly.

 Tina kneeled on the floor in front of me, and raised the hem of my
 nightie.  My penis pointed straight at her face.  She flipped my
 nightie over her head, and took my penis in her mouth.  She sucked it
 in the same manner that she had fucked me earlier, and that was hard
 and fast!  Every couple of strokes Tina would run her tongue around
 the head.  I stiffened against the wall in passion.  I had never had a
 blow-job like this before.  Try as I might to hold back, I could not!
 Tina released the grip of her right hand from my thigh to tickle my
 balls, and I shot the load of cum that had been building all evening
 down her waiting throat!  She swallowed it all, and then licked me
 clean.

 Tina reappeared from beneath the hem of my nightie, and stood up.  I
 was still too dizzy from all that had happened to do anything except
 lean on the wall for support, but I managed to say, "Thank you." Tina
 smiled, and helped me to the bed.  It was after midnight, so I asked
 her to stay the night.  She agreed, and I offered to get her a night
 gown, but she declined.  "I always sleep nude if you don't mind," she
 said.  I just nodded.  I was too spent to get up to get the night gown
 anyway.

 Tina stripped while I watched this time.  Her panties had come off
 long ago, so her bra was the last thing she took off.  She had a very
 good figure for a woman with a nine inch penis who could fuck the way
 she did, but I got another surprise when she removed her bra.  Tina
 had real breasts!  They were not just the smallish "male" breasts that
 Margo and I had, but real female type breasts!

 Tina noticed me staring at them right away, and said, "Do you like
 them?"  She cupped her breasts with her hands to hold them up, so I
 could see they were real.  "Would you like to feel them?," she asked.
 I nodded, and Tina joined me on the bed.  "How big are they?," I asked
 as I touched them.  "They're 36C!," Tina replied.

 I fondled Tina's breasts, and weighed them on my hands.  "How did you
 get them!?," I exclaimed excitedly!  Tina was obviously pleased with
 my attentions to her breasts.  She lay back on the bed, and said,
 "Well, I started with hormone cream, but that wasn't enough, so about
 a year ago I had silicone implants put in.  It only takes three days
 at the hospital."

 I knew then that I had found the next answer to my question of how to
 become more a woman.  Tina said she would give me the name of her
 doctor in the morning.  I would have real breasts at last!  All I had
 to figure out was what to do about my penis.  I wanted to be rid of
 it.  Maybe Tina's doctor would know about that.  I would have to ask
 him.  We drifted off to sleep with me still playing with Tina's
 breasts.

 I woke up the next morning, and looked over at Tina in the bed next to
 me.  She was still asleep, but uncovered, and totally nude.  I could
 not help staring at the way her breasts looked.  I had seen pictures
 of nude women, and I had been to a striptease show a couple of times,
 so I knew what a real woman's breasts should look like.  Tina's looked
 very real!  I had, however, only seen one woman's breasts up this
 close before in my life.

                              = = * = =

 The incident had happened after a party when I graduated from high
 school.  We all had been drinking quite a bit of beer, and out
 inhibitions were down.  There was a girl named Joyce in my class who I
 was friendly with.  I knew that she was interested in me in a more
 than platonic way, but we never actually dated.  We would talk, and go
 shopping together.  I always envied the clothes she wore, and the way
 she looked.  We were more like two girlfriends than anything else.
 She always defended me when the others laughed at me.

 I was standing alone when Joyce took my hand.  "Come with me!," was
 all she said.  She led me to a bedroom, and locked the door behind us.
 She turned to me, and said, "We've always been good friends, and I
 can't stand it when they make fun of you.  Laurie bet me that you are
 a queer, so I have to find out for myself!"  With that she took off
 her blouse, and unhooked her bra!  Her breasts spilled out in front of
 me.  They were big and round like the pictures in the magazines.  I
 wanted them, but not in the way she had hoped.  I wanted them on me!

 "Feel them, damn it!," she ordered!  I reached out to touch them.
 They were heavier than I had expected.  I examined them carefully, but
 a little too clinically for Joyce.  She pulled back with tears welling
 up in her eyes.  "You are queer!," she shrieked, and threw herself on
 the bed crying.  I tried to comfort her, but she would have none of
 it.  "Get out of here, you damned queer!," she screamed!

 I left to find Laurie and another girl in the hall laughing at me. I
 would soon be the laughing stock of the party.  I left the party right
 away.  I was glad that I would not see any of them again!

                              = = * = =

 Tina awoke to find me staring at her.  She smiled and stretched.  "You
 really like them, don't you?," she asked.  I nodded.  I looked further
 down at Tina's nine inch penis.  "Are you going to have the whole
 change?," I asked.  "No," Tina replied.  "I like my cock, but I like
 being a woman too.  It is just a permanent dildo to me, but my doctor
 does that operation too.  You should talk to him about it if you are
 interested."

 Now I wanted the name of that doctor more than ever!  At last I had
 found a way to get rid of this penis of mine that I hated so much. I
 did not care what it took, or what it cost.  I wanted my penis cut
 off!  I wanted to be a woman!

 I got up, and made breakfast for us.  Tina gave me the name of the
 doctor over coffee.  She explained very briefly about how the implant
 operation she had on her breasts went.  It apparently involved an
 incision beneath each breast, so that a plastic bag containing a
 silicone jell could be inserted to lift the "male" breast out from the
 body.  She showed me the hairline scars that the operation left.  They
 were totally unnoticeable unless you were looking for them.  She also
 suggested that I ask the doctor about hormone treatments to help them
 heal, and even grow a little more on their own.  I told her that I
 wanted it done right away.  She laughed, and wished me luck.

 Tina went home after breakfast, but first reminded me about the
 rehearsal on Tuesday.  I assured her that I would not forget.  I tried
 all that day to imagine myself as a chorus girl with real breasts
 jiggling as I danced.  I very much enjoyed the thoughts!


Sub-title: A Day in the Life

The blast of the alarm clock shocked me out of sleep, and into the
earth plane once again.  It was 7:00AM on Monday morning, and I had to
get ready for work.  I really did not want to get up.  I had been
having such a pleasant dream, but the rent had to paid somehow.  I
forced myself awake, and headed toward the bathroom.

I could hear Margo waking up, and lighting a cigarette in the other
bedroom.  It was her turn to fix breakfast, so I could take my time
with getting ready.  She liked to shower after breakfast, so I could
take as long as I wanted.  I stripped off my robe and blue lace
nightie, and stepped into the shower.  The fine needle spray tingled
all over me, and started to wash away the final layers of sleep that
still clouded my mind.

I soaped myself all over playfully squeezing my own breasts while I
washed them.  They were not as big as Tina's breasts, but I would call
her doctor this week, and see what could be done to change that.  I
wanted real breasts so very much.

I had to be gentle with my bottom that morning.  It was still a little
sore from the way Tina had fucked me on Saturday night.  I liked being
fucked.  I also like being fucked hard, but Tina had given my ass quite
a reaming that night.  I would feel it for a while yet.

I took the nozzle of the shower off its hook to rinse myself off.  The
tingling of the spray titillated my nipples, and made them stand erect.
My penis was also growing hard.  I stroked it with my soapy hands, and
it responded to the touch.  I could feel the ghost of a vagina that
lurked behind responding too, and I stroked even harder.  I leaned back
against the tile wall, and brought the nozzle down to spray against the
scrotum and balls that hung beneath.  The feeling was exciting!  I
thought that it was what it would feel like to have someone eating the
pussy that should have been there.  I tried to imagine someone doing
that to me, but the only image that came through was that of Tina doing
it.  Was this what a Lesbian encounter would be like?  I thought of
myself having a sex-change, and being made love to by another woman.
The fantasy took hold, and carried me off.

I stroked harder at my penis.  My breath now came in excited gasps.
All I could see was Tina's head down between my legs with her long hair
billowing out across my thighs.  In my mind she no longer had that huge
cock that had ravaged my asshole on Saturday.  We were two Lesbians
bent on the taste and feel of each other's pussies on our tongues!  I
shook all over at the sheer animal lust of it, and then I felt the
warmth of my semen as it spurted from the tip of my penis, and ran over
my hand.  I shuddered deep inside with my orgasm.  It took a few
moments to catch my breath afterward.

I finished my rinse, and stepped from the shower to towel off.  Margo
knocked at the door.  "Are you going to be in there all morning?," she
asked urgently.  "Breakfast is ready, you have to go to work, and I
have to pee!"  I unlatched the door, and she headed straight to a seat
on the toilet while I wrapped my pink terry-cloth robe about me.  I
tucked my now soft penis between my legs, and went into the kitchen for
breakfast.  It was the start of just another normal day, or was it?

Margo and I talked about my seeing Tina's doctor over breakfast.  She
was supportive, but not overly excited about it.  "If that's what you
want, Bobbi," she admonished me, "then do it, but it's not as easy as
it sounds.  What Tina had done to her breasts with the silicone
implants is simple, but a full sex-change like you seem to want is a
big step.  Just make sure you are making the right decision.  There's
no turning back once you have your cock cut off!"

Margo's last sentence hit me harder than I would have expected it
should have.  I did want to be rid of my penis, but in those terms, the
idea was a shock.  I assured her that I would consider things very
carefully before I made the final and irrevocable decision.  I knew it
was what I wanted, but there was time to think about it anyway.

After breakfast, I went to my room to dress for work.  This was always
my least favorite part of the day.  I hated dressing as a man each
morning.  The men's clothes that I wore might be the most effeminate I
could find, but they were still men's clothes.  They just reminded me
all the more that I was not yet as much a woman as I wanted to be.  At
least I did not have to wear a suit in my job as a stockboy.  I slipped
out of my robe with a sigh, and prepared to get into my male costume
for the daily masquerade.

I started with a pair of blue lace panties.  I might have to wear men's
outer garments, but my underwear was strictly female.  I tucked my
penis back into my crotch between my legs, so that I could still feel
as female as possible no matter what I looked like outwardly.  I topped
my panties with a blue camisole.  Dressed that way, I still looked very
feminine, and I liked that.  I slipped a pair of light-blue socks on my
feet, and started on the clothing that made me look like a passable,
although very effeminate, boy.

I pulled on a pair of very tight jeans.  They still had a very male fly
and zipper, but I had stitched the crotch up a little higher than any
male trousers, and tapered the legs.  They hugged every curve I had.  I
pulled a lightweight, grey, crew-necked sweater over my head for a top,
and stepped into a pair of brown penny-loafers.

I looked at myself in the mirror.  I looked almost, but not quite, like
a girl with my longish hair fluffed out in a unisex style.  I was
letting it grow long, but it was not quite full female length yet.  I
could almost pass as a butch woman, but since most people at work knew
me as a boy, they thought I was just "queer".

I was ready to leave for work except for one last item.  I had just
bought a leather bag with a shoulder strap.  It was not a purse.  It
was more like a small photographer's soft gadget bag.  I purse would
have been an obvious giveaway, but this I could get away with.  A lot
of the "Hippies" carried these, so I could too.  It was even just big
enough for me to put a padded bra, my make-up case, and some jewelry in
the bottom under my wallet and change purse.

Margo had finished her shower, and was sitting in the kitchen having
coffee and a cigarette.  "My, but don't we look nice today!," she said
as I entered the room.  I thanked her as I pulled a light jacket on,
and slung my bag over my right shoulder.  I asked her what she thought
of the bag.  "It looks good," she replied.  "You could pass as a woman
just the way you are now, Bobbi.  If you had make-up on, there would be
no question.  You're very pretty.  You just look like a girl."  That
was what I hoped I would hear.  I said good-bye, and left for work.

Margo and I lived on 46th Street just off 9th Avenue in New York City,
and the Department Store where I worked was at 39th Street and 5th
Avenue.  That was just eleven blocks, so I usually walked.  This
morning was clear, but the mid-September chill was a harbinger that
winter was not far away.  I felt good!  What I wanted most in the world
at that moment was to be a woman, and I was making progress toward that
end.  It did not take me long to get to work.

I made one stop on the way in at a little hole-in-the-wall Coffee Shop
on 39th Street.  I usually stopped there each morning to get a cup of
coffee to go, so I could have it in the stock room when I started work.
I got a very nice smile from the young Puerto Rican boy behind the
counter.  I do not know if he knew whether I was a man or a woman, but
the smile felt nice just the same.  This was starting to be a very good
day.

I went in through the Employee's Entrance, and went to the time clock
room.  I bumped into a man as I entered.  It was Paul!  "Oh, excuse
me," he started, "I didn't see..."  Paul stopped, and stared at me.
"Bob?," he asked.  I nodded, and said, "Yes, good morning!"  A look of
recognition, followed by a smile crossed his face.  I was not sure what
that meant, so I decided to proceed carefully.  "I didn't recognize you
at first," he said.  "You've started looking very different lately.
You look nice, but different."  I thanked him for what I assumed he
meant as a compliment, and punched in.  As I turned to leave, Paul
said, "Err...  Why don't you stop by my office this afternoon?  I have
something I'd like to talk to you about."

I wondered for a moment what he wanted to talk about.  From the way he
was looking at me, I was sure that he had recognized me as the Drag
Queen prostitute that he had bought a blow-job from on Saturday night.
He somehow seemed to like looking at me, though, so he was not angry.
I was confused, but there was only one way to find out what was on his
mind.  "All right," I said as I headed for my department.  "I'll be up
around 2:15PM after lunch."

The Children's Shoes Department was quiet when I arrived.  This was
normal, for I was usually the first one in each morning, but the lights
in the office were already on.  Edith, our departmental secretary, had
come in a little early, so I bid her "Good morning!" in a cheery voice
as I entered.

"Good morning, Bob," she answered, and after looking at my more
effeminate than usual appearance added, "My, but don't you look nice
today!"  Her tome was that of a sincere compliment, and I thanked her
as I sat down at the desk next to her's.  She stared at me for a long
moment, and then said, "Bob, we don't get much chance to just talk.  I
like you very much.  Can I ask you a personal question?"  I looked at
her as I sipped at the coffee that I had brought with me.  I wondered
what was on her mind.  I decided to find out, so I answered, "Sure."

"Bob," Edith began, "you must know that some of the people around you
have noticed a change in your appearance lately.  I think that you look
wonderful, but some of the others have said some things that..." Edith
trailed off, so I jumped in with, "Edith, and you my friend?" My throat
grew tight as I spoke.  I wanted desperately to tell someone all about
the me.  I needed a friend beyond the collection of Drag Queens,
cheating husbands, and petty hangers-on that populated "The Gilded
Grape" who passed for my friends since the rest of the world had cut me
off.  I hoped that Edith would be sympathetic, but I was scared!

"Of course, Bob," Edith replied.  I mustered my courage, and said, "I
only ask that you keep this confidential between just you and I." Edith
agreed, and I confessed, "I am what some people would call Gay.  I have
felt this way for a long time, but only lately I have really begun to
understand all of it.  Most Gay men are content to look and act like
boys, but there is something in me that wants to go beyond that.  I
want..."

Edith stopped me at that point, and surprised me by saying, "You know
you make a better appearance as a girl than a boy anyway.  I know what
you want to do.  I have read enough about it to have a good idea of
what you may be going through.  I don't claim to understand it, but if
that is what this is all about, I'm behind you if you need me."

I was flabbergasted!  The look in Edith's eyes told me that she was
more than sincere in what she was saying.  I knew then that I could
trust her.  I did not know why she was befriending me in the way that
she was, but I did not care.  I had found the friend that I needed so
desperately.  I wanted to talk more, but we could hear the sounds of
some of the others arriving, so we decided to have lunch where we could
discuss things privately.  I looked forward to that lunch all morning.

The rest of the department arrived one by one in their usual Monday
morning stupor.  Every one of them took some notice of my more
effeminate than usual appearance that morning.  The first two bothered
me a little.  Mr. Steinman, the Assistant Buyer, showed some obvious
surprise at it, and gave me only a perfunctory "good morning" in
passing.  Alicia, our would be elegant Sales Assistant, gave me a look
of cold disdain, and said nothing.  That was their problem, I thought,
and went out to the stock room to start my work.

I ran into Dave, our other Sales Assistant, and my one time friend in
philosophical discussions, on his way in out there.  He looked me over
carefully, and bid me a cheerier "Good morning!" than had been his wont
of late.  He smiled at me, and added, "You look very nice this
morning," as he headed for the office.  Maybe he had come to terms with
the way I now was.  I hoped so.  I liked having him as a friend.

Last to arrive was Mrs. Adams, our Sales Supervisor.  I met her as I
was making my morning rounds of checking the displays on the sales
floor.  "Good morning, err... Bob?," she said as she passed.  "My, but
don't we look pretty today!"  She was always full of sarcastic comments
like that for everyone.  I said "good morning," but tried to take
little notice of her.  It was just not worth it.

The rest of that morning passed uneventfully.  I thought quite a bit
about the reactions I had gotten to my appearance.  Over all, it was
more toward the positive side.  Those who did not know me reacted as if
I were somehow really female.  Those who did know me were split in
their reactions, but the one's who meant something in my life leaned to
the positive side.  I knew that I could pass as a woman while all done
up in high Drag Queen glamor.  It also seemed that I could do the same
in ordinary street clothes, and no make-up.  Now I had three things to
look forward to that day.  There would be lunch with Edith, the talk in
Paul's office, and getting into my bra, make-up, and jewelry to see how
that worked on the way home!

"Are you ready to go?  It's almost noon!," Edith startled me with her
words in the quiet stock room.  I was not wearing a watch, and I had
forgotten about the time.  "I just have to get my jacket and bag!," I
answered quickly as I hurried off to fetch them.  A few minutes later
we were sliding into seats in a booth at the Coffee Shop down the
street.  Edith looked at me with a strange twinkle in her eye.  I would
soon find out why.

We made some small talk to start, and then Edith said, "Bob, how far do
you want to go with this?"  I was both surprised and pleased at the
frankness of her question.  Her look told me that she would be
sympathetic to whatever I had to tell her even if I did not yet know
why she was being so open with me about it.  I proceeded to tell her my
story.

"Edith," I began, "I told you this morning that I was Gay.  That isn't
quite the truth.  I was born a boy, but I have never felt like one all
my life.  A Gay man is attracted to other men.  I'm attracted to men,
but in the way that a woman is attracted to a man.  My feelings and
emotions are also those of a woman, and not a man.  It took me a long
time to realize it all, but I'm more female than male, and I'm going to
be the woman that I really am.  I'm already living as a woman except
for this job, and I'm looking for the first chance I get to change that
too."

I stopped to take a sip of water, and then continued, "The last part is
the surgical operations to finish the job, and I'm eventually going to
have that done too!  That is who I am."  I sat back when I finished my
story to see Edith's reaction.  She smiled, and said, "That's what I
had hoped you would say."

"Bob," Edith said.  I interrupted her to say, "If you really accept
 what I am, call me 'Bobbi'.  I spell it with an 'i', but most people
think it is the male nickname with a 'y' when they hear it."  She
chuckled at this.  "All right," she said, "Bobbi, there's something
about you that I'm very drawn to.  Please don't think I am being silly
when I tell you why."  I assured her that she did not even have to tell
me, but she insisted.  I was just happy to have her as an understanding
friend.

"There has always been something about you," Edith began, "that has
felt strangely familiar to me.  I couldn't tell until the 'change' in
your appearance what it was, but I felt it all the same.  When you
started letting your hair grow, and dressing like that, I saw more
clearly what I had been looking at, but not quite seeing all along.
Let me show you what I mean."

Edith reached into her purse, and took out an old wallet.  Just then
the waitress appeared at our table.  "What'll it be, ladies!," she said
snapping her gum as she took our order.  Edith and I smiled at each
other in silence.  I had passed another test.  The mouthy New York City
waitress had seen me as a woman, and nothing less.  If I ever needed
proof of what was meant to be, I had it now.  There was, from that
instant, never another question about any of it in my mind.

The waitress brought our meals, and as we ate, Edith returned to the
wallet.  She opened it to an old photograph, and handed it to me.  It
was the picture of a young woman of about my age.  She was dressed in
clothing that looked old-fashioned, but in keeping with the apparent
age of the photo.  As I examined it more closely, I saw something more.
I began to see a marked resemblance to me!  It was by no means my
double, but the woman in the picture could have passed as a sister.  I
remarked about this to Edith, and she nodded knowingly.

"That picture, Bobbi," Edith said at length, "is me about twenty-seven
years ago."  Edith looked wistful for a moment, and then spoke again.
"It was taken," she said, "just before I left Estonia with my mother.
We went first to England, and lived there for about nine years all
during World War II.  While we were there, I met a young R.A.F.
Lieutenant, and fell in love."  Edith's voice grew dreamy, and she
paused for a private thought.  Then she continued, "He was killed in a
raid over Germany in 1944, but we had been a little indiscreet in our
affections, and I bore him a daughter."

Edith's mood grew more serious, and I was sure I could see tears
welling up behind her eyes.  "I was determined to keep her," she said
with a catch in her voice, "no matter what my mother or the authorities
said, and I did!  We had three years together.  The details of this
really don't matter.  The only important thing in my mind was to keep
us together, but at the end of those three years, she caught Scarlet
Fever, and died."  A small lonely tear slid gently down Edith's cheek.
She looked off into the distance, a