Archive-name: Poetry/confess.txt

Archive-author: Kateri/Mary Anne

Archive-title: Confession





Confession



	(You ask what I want.

	I cannot tell you: Catholic upbringing, New England prudery,

	a habit of silence combine to smother the words.

	So write it, you say.)



I want everything, you see.

Men and women

indoors and out

top and bottom and sideways

to come screaming in a deserted forest 

so that the only creatures startled are the deer.  



More than a little bit of an exhibitionist.



Eyes watching

caressing

stripping away the layers

the flimsy chiffon covering of propriety

leaving me gloriously naked to a stranger's fevered gaze.



I tease them shamelessly walking down the street

in cut-off jeans and minimal tank, hair swinging.



I make them wonder as they read my words

stare at the screen

touch themselves



	(wonder if this is me; wonder if it is only a poem).



Riding the power trip

to its heights



	(and I will taste the satanic depths)



tied down so all I can do is strain against the black silk

blindfolded, so I don't know whether you will lick a nipple next

spank me until I'm sore and screaming

begging for more.



I am not quite as brave as I would wish, but if I could



	I would risk getting caught on the quads at night.  

	I would have two men at once, maybe three.  

	I would be fucked until I pass out.  

	I would have sex with someone without knowing whom it is.  

	I would do all the shameful things a good Catholic girl

		should never, ever think of.



And I would tell you about it.



*****

M.A. Mohanraj

July 28, 1993

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