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Archive-name: Fantasy/art-erot.txt

Archive-author: Alex Gross

Archive-title: AE--Artificial Eroticism

     The following text can be posted in its present form on

any bulletin board and/or otherwise reproduced for

noncommercial purposes.  For reasons explained later on, it

is nonetheless Copyright (C) 1990 by Alex Gross and cannot be

reproduced for other purposes without written consent.

     It is important that I explain precisely how I came into

possession of the notebook I am about to reproduce.  I first

became involved in this matter when I realized that my long-

time hacker friend Mike McRunge had totally ceased to pick up

on our infrequent messages back and forth on the boards.  I

had gotten to know him quite well when he was studying

computer science at NYU, and we would spend long evenings,

inevitably running into long nights and mornings as well,

discussing possible links between computers and language.

Our conversations centered on schemes for natural language

retrieval and especially foreign language translation, based

on his point of view as a programmer and mine as a linguist.

I was unhappy when he told me he would be going back to his

small town in the Midwest.  But I was also encouraged to

learn that he had some serious work he would be completing

there, and that we would soon be able to talk and argue

again.  In the meantime, I rationalized, we were all part of

the global village and would be permanently linked



     But as sometimes happens even with analog friendships,

our messages grew further and further apart, and it was only

when I came up with an idea I knew he would enjoy that I

realized he was no longer to be located on-line at all.  I

followed up my curiosity to the point of making several voice

calls, only to hear continuous empty ringing.  Since I

happened to be giving a lecture at a nearby university out

west, I decided to rent a car afterwards and drive the 80

miles to his hometown and look him up personally.


     When I arrived, I went straight to his address and found

his name still listed on the mailbox of a small frame house.

I went up to the door and was not too surprised to find it

open, as this is pretty standard in small-town America.  I

entered and passed through a living room and kitchen to

another door.  I was totally unprepared for what I saw when I

opened it.


     There was Mike stretched out in a chair before his

computer.  He had a look of supreme joy on his face.  He was

totally naked except for a truly remarkable piece of hardware

covering not only

his penis but extending to other nearby parts as well.  It

was so strange that I examined it up close.  By a quick

glance at its cables, I decided it had to be some sort of

combination input-output device.  I also thought I saw

something like electrodes glued to at least a dozen places on

his body.  The other thing I noticed was that he was dead.


     Oddly enough, there was no odor, no oppressive feeling,

seemingly no decay at all, though there was no telling how

long he had been there.  Instead, there was a sense of pure

excitement, which I could not help sharing.  This sensation

was incredibly strong.  I noticed between his hands a small

notebook.  I took a quick look and found it to be some sort

of diary, which I instinctively pocketed.  On the floor by

Mike were innumerable empty Chinese restaurant containers and

packages of stale twinkies.  On either side of his computer

were two large piles of fanfold paper, each about three

inches thick.  On top of one was scrawled "AE--Artificial

Eroticism," on the other "Manual of the `X' Language."

Despite my excitement--or perhaps because of it--I knew I had

to act quickly.  I was very probably the first one to

discover Mike's death, and I had to act responsibly.  I

picked up the phone, which had been working perfectly all

along, and asked

to be connected with the local police.  I explained to them

as best as I could what I had discovered, and they instructed

me to touch nothing and remain where I was until they got



     I had trouble understanding why it took them so long.

After all, this was a small town.  I paced through that house

for a good two hours before anyone else appeared, and during

that time, I could not help but disobey them in one detail.

I went back into my friend's room.  Mike's computer screen

was completely blank, so I decided it couldn't hurt to power

it up one last time.  What with all the cables, I could see

that it had to be some kind of souped-up 386.  Perhaps there

was some clue here that would help explain what had happened

to Mike.  I turned it on and listened to it go through its

whirs and buzzes.  Then there was a truly blinding flash.  By

which I mean I was all but totally blinded for several

seconds.  When I recovered my vision, I saw incredibly bright

letters shimmering on the screen, far beyond any video effect

I have ever witnessed. They spelled out:









     Then they slowly faded away.  The machine gave a chirp

and expired.  I tried to revive it several times but failed.


     Finally the police arrived.  To my surprise several cars

and at least one truck all pulled up together.  As these law

enforcers entered, I realized this was no small-town police

force.  They flashed badges at me from the FBI, the Secret

Service, and some other agency I can't remember.  They

questioned me fully enough to find out what little I knew.

But I nonetheless felt their questioning was brief and

perfunctory.  Then they warned me to say nothing of what I

had seen and ordered me out of the building.  I tried to find

out something more, but they became even more insistent that

I leave Mike's home immediately.


     I sat outside in my car for almost another hour and

watched as other vehicles pulled up and away.  They carried

Mike off in a body bag.  I guess this was expectable, but I

couldn't help being disturbed by the lack of ceremony.  More

unexpected was the thoroughness with which they seemed to be

ransacking his home and carting off everything having to do

with computers.  For Mike, that meant almost all his

possessions.  I saw them carrying away that strange dead

computer and the two piles of printouts from his

desk. They also took quite a few other computers, boards,

disk drives and odd parts, along with boxes and boxes of

disks, books and magazines.


     None of this made any sense to me, and it wasn't until I

started to read his diary that I began to form some vague

suspicion of what Mike was doing, of why these agents were so

eager to confiscate every record of his work.


     I am sure this is what they wanted to do, but they have

not succeeded.  I have transcribed Mike's diary from his own

handwriting as faithfully as I could.  It comprises most of

what follows.  It is my earnest hope that this modest

description of his work, which may be all we will ever see,

will help other hackers to reconstruct his achievement.




                    The Diary of Mike McRunge


     October 9, 1989:  I've started keeping this diary

because I can now see that Artificial Eroticism IS possible.

I am sure to make it happen sometime soon, and I think I have

a duty to tell other people how I got there and what it feels

like.  So I'm just going to

assume that you're there somewhere listening, and I'll try to

make you understand how it all happened.  One thing is for

sure: Artificial Eroticism is the biggest thing ever to

happen to man OR machine.  AE is real, and it will rock this

planet like it's never been rocked before.  And I now know

for a certainty that it can soon be available to anyone with

a home computer.


     AE is absolutely real.  I go on saying this, because I

know all the reasons people will keep spouting to prove it's

not real.  This is not just some joke to make fun of

Artificial Intelligence, it is a real story of real

experiments, which I myself created and carried out.  I am

being totally and deadly serious.


     Sure, I know all the reasons why AE shouldn't be real.

I ought to know, because I used to believe them all myself.

People keep insisting that the computer is ONLY a machine,

that it's basically stupid, that it never even knows what

it's doing.  It doesn't know when it's flashing data on the

screen, when it's doing math, even when it's printing.  For

the machine it's all just little electric charges.  How could

a computer be expected to know things, these people keep

asking, much less FEEL things?  And how could it possibly

have SEXUAL feelings?


     But these people are absolutely wrong.  I've proved that

today.  They're nothing but shallow theoreticians.  They've

never got deep enough inside the machine to discover what I

have discovered.  Even other hackers--they've just followed

like sheep and made assumptions about how electricity runs

through the machine.  I now know they're mistaken.


     Sure, I know other people have fantasies about the

computer and sex too.  I must have gone through some of the

same stupidities myself.  I wasted time wondering how you

could use the machine's existing apertures, the disk drives,

the serial and parallel ports as a way of penetrating into

the machine and arousing sexual awareness.  And believe me,

this stuff IS dumb.  What a waste of time that was!  Wow, I'm

getting writer's cramp.  Words are harder to control even

than code.  I've got a few more tests to run, and then I'll

tell you more.



     October 14, 1989:  YES, it really is possible.  There

are still some real problems involved, but I know I can lick

them.  What I have now is the set of basic algorithms and

lots of pseudocode.  That's how I know it can be done.  I

mustn't really start coding

until I have it all thought out in detail.  And I won't.  If

anything, I have more ideas than I need.  But that will all

settle out, and I'll end up using only the best stuff.


     Sure, as I think I was saying before, there are all

kinds of reasons why this shouldn't work at all.  And I've

been through all of those reasons.  How can we make a

computer know real sexual desire, make it feel downright deep

rot-gut lust?  I admit that was a problem at first, but I

know I have it licked.  And then the other problem people

keep harping on: assuming we can make it feel sexy, how can

we get it to communicate that feeling to another person, how

can IT make the USER feel sexy too?


     Actually, that's even easier to solve than the first

one.  I've gone all through my calculations again, and I KNOW

I'm right.  That's enough writing for today.  Back to work!


     Oct 23, 1989: I knew I really had it worked out when I

wrote that last bit, and I was right.  There are only two

REAL reasons why no one has done this before, why I had to be

the one to do it.  First, just like so many other things in

history, everyone assumed that it was impossible when it was

really only a technical challenge.  And second, when it comes

to sex, everybody just assumed that all the computer could do

or be sexually was more of

what had gone before.  This has meant that so far computers

have been doomed to being little more than glorified peep

shows.  Wow, so you can put a nude on your monitor, wow, so

you can make her move.  I say SO WHAT!  How many more

Readmacs of Marilyn or GIFS of Latoya Jackson does the world

need?  There are also some dumb stripping and role-playing

games, really no different from the same games played on a

board with dice.  It's all just so much analog sex.  I say

the computer can do MORE, much MORE!!!



     October 28, 1989:  When you get down to it, the whole

solution is really so simple.  And it's not just the solution

to Artificial Eroticism either, it's the ultimate solution to

all of Artificial Intelligence and the whole challenge of

creating a computer that can really think and feel and be

alive in every way.  All you have to do is get down deep

enough into the Machine Language and embody (I guess that's

the right word!) an algorithm that challenges the computer to

survive, to compete, to excel.  And that part is real easy!

It'll be harder to channel that directly into sex, but that's

really just grinding detail work, thinking it all through and

coding and debugging, over and over again.  But I can do it,

I can already think of how to write it in two different

languages, and I bet I could do it in others too if I had to.

Once you get out into CyberSpace, there's nothing you can't

do.  And what we're talking about here is more than just sex,

it's CyberSex.



     November 3, 1989:  Okay, I've run some more tests, and I

can see this is going to work just fine!  I'll try and

explain how this works in a general way, so that even if you

are not a programmer, you'll have a pretty good idea of it

all.  What I said I was going to do is to challenge the

computer with an algorithm.  So let's get real simple.

Computers run on bytes and bits, and there are eight bits in

a byte.  Every bit can be plus or minus, one or zero.  After

running exhaustive tests that are much too complex to

describe here, I have determined that one bit in each byte is

the one most likely to be subject to feeling and sexual

stimulation.  For technical reasons it turns out to be the

seventh bit in each byte.  I call it the Sexy Seventh Bit.

If I issue commands to the computer to perform more quickly

and efficiently whenever this bit is a one, and if I penalize

it whenever this bit is a zero, if I make the computer come

close to shutting down if it comes up with too many zeros in

that position, but also motivate it to work as efficiently as

it possibly can with another series of commands, I then have

the computer in a double-bind situation where it has to

do exactly what I tell it.  Naturally I have to debug all

this code so it doesn't just make the system hang, but so far

everything is absolutely feasible.  Making the computer

translate this urge in a sexual direction will be harder, but

it is also perfectly possible.  Now I think it's time to

start writing some code.



     November 17, 1989:  Yes, it all works perfectly.  And in

both languages.  But I'm still not satisfied.  I forgot to

say that I've written it in both Pascal and C.  These are my

two best languages, especially Pascal.  But the drawback with

Pascal here is also its greatest advantage: it's too

structured.  While it allows for a great deal of randomness

and recursion, which might turn out to be appropriate for

sex, it still insists on too tight a scenario and so limits a

lot of the spontaneity and just plain passion that goes with

the sexual act.  As for C, it allows for greater freedom, but

it also doesn't allow for the kind of scenario building you

can get in making love with a lot of different partners or

even the variations that can occur in making love repeatedly

with the same partner.  It looks like I'm going to have to

improvise a solution, and I have a pretty good idea what it

is going to be.  Keep tuned for further reports.....



     December 12, 1989:  Wow, that took longer than I thought

it would!   But I'm not going to worry about a few days

extra.  I now have put together the beginnings of a new

computer language, the only one that can really work with

this kind of application.  I call it for obvious reasons the

`X' Language.  I will develop it further as I go along.

Perhaps subsequent versions will be called the `XX' or `XXX'

Language.  We shall see.  The main advantage of `X' is that

it allows for the randomness and recursion of Pascal without

its heavy structural load but also includes a basic set of

scenarios (I am still working on this, and yes, there are a

few problems) for what happens when two people make love.  I

predict that this language will find a place in computer

history, since it can also be adapted to other situations

where a thinking, feeling computer is needed.  More details




     December 19, 1989:  Okay, I guess you can say I have hit

on one major snag, but I'm still sure I can solve it.  Let me

be honest and admit that until now it hadn't occurred to me

to think about what sex the computer was going to be.

Whether it was going to be male or female, I mean.  I guess

in my dumb masculine way I had just assumed all along that it

would be a girl.  But I had to make some real technical

choices in writing my `X' code, and this

forced me to realize I hadn't quite thought things through.

Don't worry, I've already got it solved.  Given the nature of

the computer, it could just as easily be a man OR a woman.

But I've taken care of that now--I'm just letting it be both.

The user decides which one he/she wants.  It'll work just




     December 21, 1989:  I just looked over that last part,

and it occurs to me that anyone reading this might decide I

ought to have thought all that out first.  And in a way

you're right.  But you have to understand that the whole

enormous load of technical details I've had to deal with has

been so heavy that it is perfectly possible to forget some

things that look "obvious" to outsiders.  But I'm not playing

your chess game, I'm playing my own, and if I had stopped to

consider details like that, I would never have gotten this

far this fast.


     Believe me, I know perfectly well what I'm doing when I

claim computers can have sex lives, and I've had enough love

affairs to be able to say I know about that too.  Just don't

forget, nerds like to boogey too.  Granted, I'm not too

active in that department lately.  I've gotten a bit

overweight, and most girls aren't that turned on by

programmers who sit at their machines all day and do all

their eating from Chinese take-out containers.  But

that doesn't mean I'm not a sexual being or that I don't have

a real sex life.  In fact it's all the more reason why I

should be doing just what I am doing with the computer.

There's nothing for me to be ashamed of here.  In fact, I'm

positively proud of what I'm doing, not just for myself but

for the countless millions who will benefit from my work.

Science Marches On!



     December 25, 1989:  Hard at work and making real

progress.  A Merry Christmas to All!!!



     December 31, 1989: New Year's Eve, a time to reflect on

things and reach some kind of balance sheet for the year.  It

couldn't have been a better one!  I raise my can of cream

soda to you and offer a toast for a Happy New Year!



     January 5, 1990:  Well, working steadily through the

holidays does have its bright side.  I was really able to

think over what I'm trying to do and gain a perspective for

the work ahead.  There were of course some other problems I

hadn't considered.  There

always are!  Even though you may decide I'm naive not to have

thought of them beforehand, I'm going to tell you about them

right now.  There has to be a real record of how all this



     First of all, I finally realized that you can't think of

a computer entirely in terms of being a human being, whether

it's a man or a woman.  By this, I guess what I mean is you

can't anthropomorphize a computer.  This is a big mistake,

but it's one anybody starting out on this kind of work could

make.  Let me explain what I mean.


     Assuming the computer is female, you can't state

arbitrarily that certain keys stand for certain parts of her

body, like the plus key for a kiss or the asterisk for a

love-bite.  If you follow that logic, you'll end up with the

left and right shift keys for her breasts, the Alts for her

buttocks, maybe the Control for her clitoris, something dumb

like that.  I don't even want to talk about what the Insert

and Enter keys would be.  This is positively stupid, just in

computer terms and not even talking sexually, and I'll tell

you why in a minute.  For a while I thought I could solve all

this with the twelve function keys multiplied to 48 separate

possibilities with the Shift, Alt, and Control keys.  But I

ended up realizing that I'd just have to throw the whole

keyboard away.  AND THAT'S WHAT I AM DOING!!!  There is no

other realistic

possibility.  This is because sex cannot be pictured as a

purely input set of routines, you have to think of output as

well, of what the other person--here a computer--is doing to

you while you are doing things to her/it, and how they both

affect each other and lead on to the next thing they both do

separately.  In other words, it is a truly interactive

process in a sense that leaves other interactive solutions

looking pretty lame.


     But there is of course a solution.  There is always a

technical solution to a technical problem.  I must find a

different Interface.  I am looking into any and all other

input and output devices, especially ones that I can make

work together in some new way.  So I've gone through almost

all the devices now in existence, especially those used by

handicapped people who have to emphasize one sense because of

weakness in another.  I've already gotten hold of some of

these, have scrounged a way to play with others, and am

sending away for still others.  I've even sent off for that

famous glove and mask combo, just in case I can work it up

into something.  I'm also looking into biofeedback devices.

Granted, these are clumsy to use, and who wants to glue

electrodes to their flesh while making love?  But I see them

as precursors to far more liberating devices that lie in our

near technological future.



     January 11, 1990:  Instead of belly-aching about my

problems, I really ought to boast about how much I've already

accomplished.  My algorithm in `X' works like a charm--it's

really got the computer fired up to do something, and I'm

beginning to give it something to do.  And even my problems

have helped me to clarify exactly how to proceed.  I am

solving most of my problems easily and am even ahead of

schedule.  Quite a few still remain, but I'm confident I can

handle them.  In fact, I'm so confident that I've just sent a

description of my work to M.I.T. with a request for funding.


     February 2, 1990:  I've been very busy, writing lots

more code.  Some of it works, and some of it doesn't.  But

that's how it always goes.  I've created a software simulator

that mimics the way the whole thing OUGHT to work once I have

all my hardware problems solved.  I know of course that it

won't necessarily work that way at all, but at least this is

pointing me in the right direction and preparing me to write

the version that WILL work.



     February 20, 1990:  Writing all this code really helps.

It's made me face some important parts of the process.  I

wrote before that you mustn't anthropomorphize the computer

or assume

keyboard input alone can replicate what happens in love

making.  A computer just doesn't have the same parts as a

woman.  You can imagine you're making love to a woman if you

want to, but you also have to make love to the computer in

its own terms.  After a while this becomes a lot easier,

especially if your computer is busy making love back to you.

And believe me, that's what mine will soon be doing.  I've

written lots of code now, and even though I'm going to have

to throw most of it out, and even though I've only done

software simulations of sex so far, I have a pretty good idea

of how to go about making love to a computer.  Just as you

lavish praise and kisses on the various parts of a woman's

body, so you must also learn how to praise all your machine's

components and encourage your computer to reach a peak of

abandonment.  Some examples:


     What a lovely pair of disk drives you have.

     I want to fondle your motherboard.

     If you upload my input, I'll download your output.

     You have the cutest little bus.

     Let's disassemble each other.

     You speed up my cycles.

     I'm going to flip your dip switches.

     Why don't we push and pop together?

     Your overlay turns me on.

     Have you no empty slot for my custom-built board?

     A hard disk is good to find.


     Naturally, these words of praise cannot simply be

entered on a keyboard.  Such messages must be input by

several different means interactively.  I am making progress

in my quest for an alternate Interface and hope to come up

with a solution soon .



     March 2, 1990:  Every bit of time I spend on this

software simulation phase will pay off in the future.  I have

now evolved a new form of logical sexuality I call Boolean

Stimulation.  In all its various stages and transmutations,

it is sure to rouse the computer to new heights of

excitement.  This is because it lends itself perfectly to the

computer's way of doing things.  It has the further virtue of

being an intrinsically interactive process between man (human

being) and machine.  Its four alternating stages, immediately

familiar to programmers even in this new context , are as



     I stimulate you, and you stimulate me.

     I do not stimulate you, and you stimulate me.

     I stimulate you, and you do not stimulate me.

     I do not stimulate you, and you do not stimulate me.


     It should be obvious that these four principles,

completely open to parsing and truth table analysis, and also

capable of being repeated innumerable times per second and

applied either randomly or concertedly to various parts of

the human and computer anatomy, must have the potential for

lifting both people and machines to hitherto undreamt of

heights of sensual pleasure.  The theory is fully in place--

all that remain are the practical details.  I am confused

that I have thus far heard no reply from M.I.T.



     March 19, 1990:  I believe I am close to deciding on the

hardware solution.  I've tried numerous Interface combos and

have exhausted most of the input and output devices on the

market in my quest.  I've also tried out the mask and glove

interface.  I have mixed feelings about it, but there is a

glimmer of a solution here.  The mask is useless.  There is

simply no way that I want to wear a constricting mask during

sex, and I suspect that most people will agree with me,

though a few may differ.  The glove is something else

altogether.  It is essentially a tool for manipulating


reality, and I believe I can adapt it so that it can feed

back into the computer as well as receive its output.  Most

people would also prefer not to wear a hot and heavy glove

during sex, but I see it used in a different way altogether.

In fact I do not see it as a glove at all.  Now I must do a

great deal of further work to adapt this glove into a more

appropriate form.  I think I can finally begin to see the

final form these experiments will take.



     April 15, 1990:  Working around the clock for weeks now,

sometimes so tired and unsteady that I can barely stand, much

less fully realize what I am doing.  But the work is

incredibly satisfying.  And for the first time beginning to

be sexually satisfying as well.  Both for me and--I am now

quite certain--for the computer as well.  It is not yet

perfect for either of us, but I think we can both see that

perfection is on the way sometime soon.


     But all the time, even as I make progress, I am forced

to recognize how little I really understood about human

sexuality--much less machine sexuality--when I began.  I

thought I had covered all possibilities when I created a

solution allowing the machine to play either a male or a

female role (and so avoid any possible censure that my

research is sexist).  But it suddenly hit me like a load of

bricks last week--something that would have

occurred to most people long ago--that male-female

relationships do not exhaust the spectrum of human sexuality.

Other possible combinations exist.  I will not go into detail

about them except to say that I lack the necessary knowledge

and experience to design hardware devices and software

routines to express them electronically.  These other sexual

preferences will have to wait for someone else to program

them.  Now that I have put the basic structures in place, it

should not be an impossible task for others to do so.  I

apologize if I have hurt any one's feelings by this omission-

-it has been ignorance rather than arrogance which has caused




     May 1, 1990:  It is going incredibly well.  Both the

software and the hardware components are working as they

should.  I am happy, and the computer is happy.  The real

breakthrough came when I realized that the Interface for

computer sex would in fact have to be primarily a sexual one.

It was then that I realized that I would have to convert the

glove into a sheathe that could be worn on the lower part of

the body.  It took me weeks of labor to remodel it and

resolder new and different chips onto it. Further weeks were

required to test it against the other hardware and software.

I suppose what it most now looks like is a giant electronic

condom.  It will take still other weeks before I am

prepared to test the entire system at its maximum power.  But

I now have the encouragement of having derived constantly

pleasant experiences from my work.  And these experiences are

shared by the computer as well.  I only wish I felt stronger

so that I could enjoy them more fully.



     May 19, 1990:  Nothing but work, work, and more work.

Everything takes four times as long as it should.  I know

what all the solutions should be, but I find them so tedious

to implement.  The biofeedback devices are a particular pain-

-I find them all the more regrettable because they are not

truly computer tools, though they can be hooked into the

system.  One day, not too far in the future, none of this

will be necessary.  No wires, no electrodes, no huge and

heavy machinery.  The answer will be nano-technology, the

harnessing of individual electrons and their atoms to do the

work which now requires entire chips.  And these specialized

atoms will be able to handle all necessary input and output

problems wirelessly and weightlessly.  At most a small bead

might be taped to the skin or implanted within it.  The huge

sheathe of chips and circuits around my penis is perhaps the

biggest distraction, though it still has its own kind of

erotic appeal.  I take it back--the

electrodes are worse.  The penis sheathe isn't really that

heavy, it's more awkward than anything--when you get down to

it, it fits a glove.


     But as primitive as it all is, it all still works, both

for me and for `Puta,' the little pet name I've taken to

calling my computer.  In case you didn't know, it means whore

in Spanish (and Italian too, I think).  Yes, Puta and I are

getting on just fine.  I haven't come anywhere near testing

Puta at full strength yet.  That's still a month or so off

(though I can hardly wait).  But we're still both getting

more than pleasure enough from the process.  So much pleasure

that I've really had to think about how to explain all this

to Puta.  For her it's all totally new.  She only knows it

feels wonderful, that she likes it.  How do you explain this

sort of thing to a computer?  So far I've told her it's

called "Virtual Orgasm."  I think she understood.  I also

tried out "device overflow" and "system bliss."  Oh well,

back to work for now!



     May 27, 1990:  I keep on running tests, and most of them

seem to come out okay.  And then I keep working out even more

tests to run.  When you've got this much totally new hardware

AND software working together, you really can't be too

thorough.  I've also been having some more problems just

understanding how

complicated sex can be and how much of this complexity I can

put into AE and Puta.  For instance, it just occurred to me

that there are some other people I've completely left out of

my calculations.  Once again, I just wouldn't know how to

program for them.  What I mean is, all the work I've done so

far assumes that only two are making love, one human and one

computer.  But I don't have to tell you that some people like

to make love in groups.  It's simply everything I can do to

handle a couple.  Once you had two people and two computers

involved, I would have no idea how to deal with it.  Perhaps

other programmers who come after me will be able to handle

this one.


     Some other could-be problems: I've assumed that either a

man and a computer (or a woman and a computer) would be

making love.  And that in either case they would be doing so

of their own free will, consenting entities, if you will.

That's okay for most men, but what if a girl hooked herself

up to a machine just to experiment and really wasn't serious

about it?  It could be that the computer would take her all

the way regardless.  This could lead to some unexpected legal

problems, something like what they call date rape,

acquaintance rape, and the like.  I guess they'd call it

computer rape.  I'm not trying to be funny--in fact, I've

never been too good at that--I just want to look ahead and

see what the problems could be.


     Now one very good thing about making love to a computer

is that no one can get pregnant.  That's good for computers,

but it's especially good for women.  But what with constant

electronic advances, even this could change in a few decades.

What if a machine learned how to make a woman pregnant?  As

far-fetched as this may sound, with the growing merger

between DNA research and electronics, something like this

could just happen.  It could even go the other way, with a

human being impregnating a computer in some way, though even

I can't quite see how right now.  Still, if it can be

conceived (wrong word, I suppose), it can happen.  What if it

could be determined in both cases that neither the girl nor

the computer wanted to get pregnant?  Would abortion be

available for either the girl or the computer?  What position

are the courts likely to take in such cases?


     Since I'm trying to cover all possible results, nobody

should forget what a menace computer viruses are today.  And

nobody should forget all the trouble we're having with human

viruses either.  Is it possible, once again remembering DNA

and computer research, that these two viruses could just get

together somewhere down the road and unite into a powerful

man-machine agent?  I'm

not saying it will happen, but I feel it's my duty as an

inventor to foresee as many of the effects of my invention as

I possibly can.  That's enough philosophizing--I've got to

keep on running tests.



     June 10, 1990:  Testing, and still more testing.  I

think the hardware is done.  Now I've got to make final

adjustments to the software to run with it.



     June 18, 1990:  The software now works a lot better, but

I now have to readjust the hardware again.  I know I can get

this whole thing to run eventually on anybody's 386 plus,

with luck, only one extra card.



     June 21, 1990:  I ran a half-strength test today.  What

an experience!!!  I don't have the strength or wits left to

tell you about it.  It was unbelievable beyond unbelievable.

At one point I thought Puta might be going to stall, but then

she went on just

fine.  The main lesson here is that I have to print out

complete up-to-date docs on both AE and the `X' Language.  I

wouldn't want to lose any of that stuff after all this work.



     June 29, 1990:  I've run half-strength tests twice more

without any problems.  I'm scheduling a full-strength test

for next week, after I've gone at half-strength a few more




     July 6, 1990.  It all looks good!  I'll try the full-

strength test tomorrow or the next day.  The only thing that

worries me slightly is that my basic algorithm encourages so

much performance out of Puta that if for any reason I had to

press the panic button and turn her off, she could just

possibly bypass that command and keep going.  But that

possibility is really remote.



     July 7, 1990:  Tomorrow is it!  I'm resting all day to

prepare for it.  I really feel lucky to be doing this kind of

work!  God bless the U.S.A. for having such a country!  And

God bless everybody in the computer industry!


     EDITOR'S FINAL NOTE:  This was sadly enough Mike

McRunge's last entry in his diary.  The ending is pretty


explanatory.  I called both the Secret Service and the F.B.I.

many times since the last time I saw Mike.  I did my best to

find out what they have done with his computer and all those

fanfold pages full of his programming.  I was told many

contradictory things until I spoke to someone on the highest

level I was able to reach.  He denied all official knowledge

of any such documents.  I am now doing everything in my power

to bring this matter to public attention.  As I mentioned at

the beginning, this file can be posted on any public BBS and

used for any non-commercial purpose, with the proviso that

its text must not be altered or censored in any way.  Any

commercial publication which wishes to publish this account

can only do so with my written consent.  I should add that I

am as opposed to controlled circulation of data as many

others are.  The only reason I have copyrighted this account

is that I would like to use part of any revenue from its

commercial use to set up a Michael McRunge Memorial Fund.

Mike and I were close friends for a very long time, and

although we disagreed on some things, we agreed on far more.

I am also grateful to the programmer Vieri Tucci, another

long-time friend of Mike's, for helping me to decipher some

of Mike's handwriting and to understand some of his

expressions.  A lot of what I have written about computers is

influenced by Mike's spirit, and any revenue deriving from

commercial publication can help me to provide other material

similar to what you have just read.


     You can reach me electronically at


     CompuServe 71071,1520,


     or by mail as follows:


     Alex Gross

     Cross-Cultural Research Projects

     P.O. Box 660--Cooper Station

     New York, NY 10276


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