Archive-title: Letters II
No Sex in this one either. Well, maybe..
This is a letter I wrote a couple years to my first lover. And
yes, I did lose my virginity the next night! The names have been changed
to protect the guilty...
I'm always looking for critiques (even flames!!) so feel free to
write to me at email@example.com... I have no problem with people
e-mailing my stuff around, as long as my name remains with it.
And for those of you who suffer under the delusion that women
engineers can't possibly be sensual...
Andrew. My lover. I'm writing this on the day before our date. If
you are reading this, it would mean that Friday night went really well and I
can tell you how I'm feeling tonight...
I once told you I don't blush. I guess I was wrong because I'm doing
it now. Its not easy for my to tell people what I'm feeling. That opens up
a part of me that can be VERY easily hurt.. That's why I only share myself
with people I truly trust... Even then, I have been betrayed more times than I
care to think about. If I've frustrated you into the past by not responding
the way you would have liked me too... you now know the reason why.
Its Andrew that I'm writing to. Not Andy, my roommates' friend.
Not Drew, my special friend, but you, the man I made love to last night...
How can I describe what I felt when you told me what you wanted to do to me
last night on the phone... I couldn't say a word in return, not even show
what I was feeling because of the various people in the room. How could I
let you know what I was seeing in my mind as you were seducing me on the
phone. You and me, alone in your room, both fully dressed because we
know we'll have the rest of the night to enjoy...
Your hands are sliding up and down my sleeves. You're looking into
my eyes, but I can't tell what you're thinking or wanting. I've never been
able to tell from your voice or even from your eyes.. It confuses me a lot
because I'm never sure if you mean what you're saying.. But I'm taking a
I put my arms around your neck and pull you to me for a long, slow
wet kiss. You pull me close and I snuggle up because I just love to feel
your whole body flush against mine. Your hands are running all over me now.
feeling me through my clothes. My lips are on your neck, dropping soft,
light kisses.. My mind isn't on that however, because I intend to drive
you crazy with passion before the night is over. My fingers move to the
first button on your shirt. It slips out of its hole easily. I want to
tear the damn thing off you but I have to be patient because I want this to
You undo the first button on my shirt, taking your time and breathing
into my ear. You KNOW exactely what that does to me and you're enjoying
every little move I'm making...
Then Kathy walks into the room. "Do you mind if I use your
computer now, Anne?" I came back to earth with a crash. You've stopped
talking on the other end. "Sure, Kath.", I say, trying to look like
we're talking about anything but what we are.. She leaves. I turn back
to the phone. "So, Andy. Keep talking." And you do. Hard thing to
believe is that I can continue where we left off.
You're telling me that you wish that your hands are rubbing up
and down my arms. Thats what the Andrew in my mind is doing. You're saying
that you're hands are coming up to cup my breasts. Thats what you're doing.
You tell me that my nipples are hardening in your palms. They are.
Suddenly with all my being, I wish that you were here with me, because I'm
getting turned on and you don't even know it. My breathing is faster and
my stomach muscles are just clenching and unclenching. Its a scary but wildly
exciting feeling. To calm myself, I start rubbing my leg against the couch,
just the way I would be rubbing it against yours if you were with me.
You're telling me that your hand is going down over my pelvis and
into my pubic hair. If I could have talked, I would have told you that I
was getting moist.. But I just kept silent. You're parting my legs, just a
little. I gulp. Then you widen them a little more. Oh God! I feel so
open. Self-preservation says that I close them NOW! But of course, I don't.
You tell me that your fingers are sliding along my lips. I can almost feel
them. Then your fingers dip into me. I stiffle a moan and cast an anxious
look at Jen. Guilt suddenly overwhelms me because she looks so stern and I'm
suddenly positive that she knows what we're doing.. But i don't want you to
Oh God! Somebody's just asked me a question about saving a file. I'm
surprised I sound so normal because I can tell you that I'm getting aroused
just writing this..
..But i don't want you to stop... What i WANT is to have you in me
NOW. To feel myself stretch to fit you. I want to be able to cry out because
I feel so full of you. I want to know what it feels like when you start
moving in and out of me. I think I'm going to go insane because I know I
can't do that with you.
I think I should stop now. I feel so drained. I don't think there's
enough strength in me to continue. All I know is that if things go the way I
hope, you'll be reading this soon. Good-night lover.